Winning the 108-year-old vote

McCain apparently wasn't old or experienced enough for this Gaithersburg woman: "Woman, 108, votes in her 22nd presidential election."

From the article:

Though she predicted victory for Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.), in part because of his ability to mobilize young voters, she just couldn't get herself to buy into either Obama or Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.). So the 20-year Asbury resident — who moved to Annapolis in the 1920s and worked as a teacher — broke from the Republican ranks for the first time to vote for Ralph Nader.

Because there's a guy with gravitas.

Click here to read more . . .

The Obama Dow Jones Death Watch

"This was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal . . . and the Dow Jones Industrial Average began to plummet."


I apologize for being a little serious here, but it's Day 2 after the election and the Dow has plummeted again. Down over 10% in two days since the election. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea for the man to say, "You know, we're not going to raise taxes after all, and we're going to push for a capital-gains tax cut for everyone." I mean, the election's over, and he can say whatever he wants, including things that actually make sense.





The suck-up and spin headline award goes to AFP: "Despite Obama win, Wall Street turns to hard days ahead."

This one makes more sense to me, from AP: "Stocks plunge as investors ponder Obama presidency."

And if you think I'm just being mean and vindictive, consider this: It's the worst two-day percentage drop since the crash of October 1987.

Consider what this means, too: "World markets traded lower Wednesday despite strong gains in Asia overnight as investors booked profits after Senator Barack Obama won the U.S. presidential election and the Democrats took a firmer hold on Congress." Booking profits means they're expecting the market to fall. It doesn't mean what the article suggests -- that investors were somehow doing well as a result of the election.

Biggest post-election plunge ever.

UPDATE (11/8): OK, the Dow went up 248 points yesterday, recovering just over a quarter of the two-day loss. It won't go down forever.

But Dana Milbank, one of my least favorite Posties, made this amusing point about Obama's press conference on Friday:

When Obama began his speech, the Dow Jones industrial average was up 255 points for the day.

The AP's Nedra Pickler asked what economic measures he would take in his first 100 days. He offered boilerplate about how "my transition team is going to be monitoring very closely what happens over the course of the next several months." The Dow's gains shrank to 145 points.

ABC News's Jake Tapper asked how he would respond to a congratulatory letter from Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. "I will be reviewing the letter from President Ahmadinejad, and we will respond appropriately," Obama answered. The Dow's increase on the day had shrunk to 131 points. Only after Obama disappeared behind the curtain did the market resume its advance.

Now that the election's over and their guy won, I guess they can loosen up a little.

Click here to read more . . .

Visitor of the day -- 11/5

And already the questions begin . . .




UPDATE: If you're thinking, "WTF?" right about now, try this post, where I've previously explained "suck eggs."

Click here to read more . . .

Another vote: no confidence

"This was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal . . . and the Dow Jones Industrial Average began to plummet."




[Ed. - I know it technically didn't "begin" to plummet, but it had actually climbed 1,450 points in the previous 6 days of trading, up from 8,175 on Oct. 28.]

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Click here to read more . . .

If Barack Obama were Jewish, instead of the Second Coming of Jesus, Part 13

Obama (shouting into his cell phone): . . . no . . . no, Governor . . . no, Ed . . . no, I didn't say that . . . I said, monitors at the . . . at the polling places . . . right . . . no, Ed . . . you putz . . . you goddam putz, Ed . . . I said A-D-L monitors, Ed . . . Ed . . . A-D-L monitors, not . . . not J-D-L . . .

Story: Philly police called to deal with Black Panthers at polls

Click here to read more . . .

The nation's capital prepares for the election

This photo was submitted by someone who wishes to remain anonymous -- and asks, "Isn't the word 'evacuation' in this context somewhat ambiguous?"

Click here to read more . . .

Pre-election linkfest

Here's a short linkfest to keep you political junkies from having to hit the refresh button at your favorite news sites and blogs in the hope that you'll get some useful information.

1. Here's an argument against early voting. (via Instapundit) For what it's worth, I'm voting NO on the early-vote ballot issue in Maryland. What could possibly go wrong with early voting?

2. Contrary to some expectations, it seems younger Jews are more likely to vote for McCain than older ones. (via Volokh)

3. If you vote, you might be eligible for, er, sex toys. (via HotAir) If you vote early, you need to work on your technique.

4. Speaking of which, the feds may be moving closer to running a strip joint. Insert your own joke here. (hat tip: fee simple)

5. Headline of the day: "Nudist group wants clothing-optional polling site."

6. Obama salutes McCain.

7. Taxman. (via HotAir)

UPDATE: 8. The six most insane people to run for President. (hat tip: Right Hand Son)

Click here to read more . . .

If Barack Obama were Jewish, instead of the Second Coming of Jesus, Part 12

Obama (shouting into his cell phone): . . . no, Ma . . . no . . . Ma, listen . . . listen . . . your own mother and . . . your mother and father, Ma . . . Bubbe and Zayde, Ma . . . your own parents . . . they were . . . they were socialists, Ma . . . Ma . . . they were, Ma . . . and . . . and . . . it really isn't . . . it isn't socialism what I . . . what I say now, Ma . . . because, Ma . . . Ma . . . it's more like . . . just think of it . . . think of it as . . . as tikkun olam, Ma . . . Ma . . .

Click here to read more . . .

Tuesday linkfest

1. Joe the Plumber is more concerned about Israel than two-thirds of American Jews. (via HotAir)

2. Ouch. "That Colin Powell. What a great judge of character."

3. A federal judge is caught having made a campaign contribution to Obama. She describes her occupation as government lawyer. Well, I suppose it's literally true, but can you say "misleading"?

4. Hillbuzz confident about Pennsylvania?

5. Headline of the day: "Near-nude man runs down street firing crackers from head." (via BOTWT)

6. Bonus from the previous link: A photo gallery called "The Joy of Streaking." Really.

7. Quotation of the day about the incident in #3 #5: "'He was new in town, I think,' Mr Annas said." Mr. Annas?

8. This is 7-1/2 years old, but it never loses its charm: "Hi-tech toilet swallows woman / Temporarily." Even with the qualifier it's pretty good.

8. With evil toilets on the loose, maybe this isn't such a problem: "Japanese officials fret about toilet shortage in event of big quake."

Click here to read more . . .

Charles Fried and William Weld come under fire

The Scene: Colombia, 50 miles outside Bogota

Charles Fried and William Weld share the rear seat of a black Mercedes belonging to the American Embassy. Their driver, a grizzled vet who works for the Embassy, explains the rules of the road.

Driver: This next 15 mile stretch we call "Death Alley." Coupl'a villages owned by FARC. Owned. You know why we call 'em FARC, don'tcha? 'Cause if you come unprepared, you get farked. Get it? Dangerous s*** here. But I came prepared. See that weapon on the seat?

Fried: Quite impressive.

Driver: 'Bout 20 rounds a second. Got some protection behind me, too. Four guys in the car, all armed to the teeth.

Weld: So then . . .?

Driver: You gentlemen just listen up here. This car's armored, but if there's shooting, I'm gonna yell, and you're gonna hafta get your asses on the floor quick. No -- more than quick.

Fried: The floor's dirty.

Driver: Holy s***, mac. We're talkin' f***in' killer terrorist FARCers. When I yell, you drop.

Weld: This is a $1,200 suit.

Driver: You want a $1,200 casket? Go ahead, don't listen to me.

Fried: I'm a law professor at Harvard.

Driver: S***, I don't care where you're from, and FARC don't care, either.

Weld: I care. I studied at Harvard, too, undergrad and law school.

Driver: What the f*** is wrong with you? I live with FARC every day. I know this s***.

Fried: Where did you go to college?

Driver: College? I didn't go to college. Got drafted, four years in 'Nam. Saw six buddies get their heads blown off. You're my age. You serve?

Weld: I was deferred.

Driver: He was deferred. I fought for you, then. And when I got home, I took business classes at community college at night, doing security work during the day.

Weld: Charles, I don't trust him. I hardly even know anyone who didn't go to Harvard.

Fried: I agree, Bill. I had a student who was president of the law review a few years ago, went into the foreign service. I'll call him right now. He'll have a far more sophisticated and nuanced approach.

(Loud gunfire is heard. Two jeeps cross an open field toward the cars.)

Driver: Jesus, it's FARC! Get the f*** down on the floor!

(He grabs the weapon next to him.)

Fried: Hold on, I'm making a phone call.

Weld: If he's not there, call Barack. That's a no-brainer. We could use his calm and intellect here.

(More gunfire. The car screeches off.)


Story here and here.

Click here to read more . . .

Visitor of the day -- 10/24

Just another visitor on this very popular search, but this one's from an interesting place. (For those who haven't seen the post this search leads to, check here, with followup here.)

Exit question: Hometown foe, or fan checking out the opposition?

Click here to read more . . .

If Barack Obama were Jewish, instead of the Second Coming of Jesus, Part 11

Obama (shouting into his cell phone): . . . no . . . no, Ma . . . no . . . it was just . . . just a rhetorical flourish . . . Ma . . . no, Ma . . . Joe's . . . Joe's a good guy, Ma . . . he's just . . . what? . . . yeah . . . yeah . . . gaffes, Ma . . . that's the word you're . . . you're looking for, Ma . . . gaffes, yeah . . . yeah, I know, Ma . . . I know . . . she's . . . she's better looking, Ma . . . I didn't pick him for . . . right, Ma, his looks . . . no . . . no, Ma . . . we'll be OK . . . no . . . no, Ma, Joe isn't secretly . . . he isn't a Republican, Ma . . .

Story.

Click here to read more . . .

Joey Biden is sent to the principal's office

"Look, John’s last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs."

-- Joe Biden

Principal: Joey, Mrs. Ballenchain tells me you've been saying bad words in her classroom.

Biden: No, Mr. Whacker, it's all a misunderstanding.

Principal: Really, Joey? Pray tell.

Biden: Well, Mr. Whacker, when she turned off the lights to show a movie, I said, "It's as dark as a ship's hold in here."

Principal: Be honest, Joey. You didn't say "ship's hold," did you?

Biden: Well . . . uh . . . I . . . er . . . I guess not.

Principal: Because Mrs. Ballenchain says you used a four-letter word.

Biden: Gosh, no, Mr. Whacker. It was actually only three letters.

Principal: Three letters?

Biden: Yeah . . . S - H - I - T. Three letters.


Biden video here.

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Click here to read more . . .

The Jews empty the shelves of Kool Aid

I've occasional tried writing seriously about Obama and the Jewish vote, but I hate serious, and anyway, there's only so much one can say. The Jews are going to be drinking gallons of Kool-Aid (TM) brand artificially flavored drink mix this election day.

Amir Taheri writes about a presentation by Jesse Jackson in the New York Post:

He promised "fundamental changes" in US foreign policy - saying America must "heal wounds" it has caused to other nations, revive its alliances and apologize for the "arrogance of the Bush administration."

The most important change would occur in the Middle East, where "decades of putting Israel's interests first" would end.

Jackson believes that, although "Zionists who have controlled American policy for decades" remain strong, they'll lose a great deal of their clout when Barack Obama enters the White House.

* * * * *
Jackson is especially critical of President Bush's approach to the Israel-Palestine conflict.

"Bush was so afraid of a snafu and of upsetting Israel that he gave the whole thing a miss," Jackson says. "Barack will change that," because, as long as the Palestinians haven't seen justice, the Middle East will "remain a source of danger to us all."

"Barack is determined to repair our relations with the world of Islam and Muslims," Jackson says. "Thanks to his background and ecumenical approach, he knows how Muslims feel while remaining committed to his own faith."

Well, it's really nice to know that the Jews not only put the interests of a foreign nation before their own but actually control American foreign policy as well. Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush 41, Clinton, and Bush 43 -- we controlled them all. If I had only known . . . there were some specific actions I would have asked for.

As Ed Morrissey at HotAir points out, the Obama campaign has distanced itself from Jackson, but one wonders, nevertheless, given some of Obama's foreign policy advisors and past associations.

It seems to me that there are three major possibilities:

1. Jackson reflects a dominant view in the Obama campaign but is letting the cat out of the bag a little early.

2. Jackson is saying this in response to Obama's efforts to solidify his Jewish support, in order to negate the doubts that Obama's base on the left may be feeling about pro-Israel statements from Obama.

3. Jackson is just a narcissistic free agent saying whatever he thinks will garner him some attention.

I'm leaning toward 3, but maybe I'm just having too much trouble contemplating the awful possibility that it's 1.

By the way, Susan Estrich sees my 3 and raises it to 4. (Jackson is actually trying to sabotage Obama's campaign, she says.)

But as I've suggested, it really doesn't matter with respect to the Jewish vote. The Jews are drinking the Kool Aid.

So it occurred to me, and it may have occurred to you, too, to ask whether, if Jews are going to drink the Kool Aid, does Kool Aid at least have a hechsher (kosher certification)? You'll be pleased to learn that the answer is YES, it does! It's certified by OK.




I'm sure Jesse Jackson would approve.

UPDATE (10/16): Now the Jews are holding their ears and shouting "La, la, la, la, la!!!" Two Obama representatives have backed out of debates with representatives of the Republican Jewish Coalition. From Matt Brooks, executive director of the RJC: "We find it a curious paradox that Obama would engage Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadenijad without preconditions, but the Obama campaign will not engage the RJC."

Click here to read more . . .

A day in the life of Congressman John Lewis (D-GA)

I. Breakfast at the IHOP

Waitress: Would you like sausage with your pancakes, sir?

Congressman John Lewis: Whatchu saying to me, lady? You trying to kill me with all that fat and cholesterol? I didn't march with Martin Luther King so I could be offered sausage with my pancakes just because I'm black, you know.

Congressman John Lewis: (under his breath) Got better service at the Kresge's lunch counter.

II. Coffee at Starbucks

Starbucks barista: Should I leave room for cream, sir?

Congressman John Lewis: Hell, no, son. Take a look at me. I take my coffee . . . black! You know what color cream is? White!

Congressman John Lewis: (under his breath) Don't understand why Starbucks always hires these pasty young racist kids.

III. Lunch at the diner

Counterman: If you want some crackers with your soup, here you go.

Congressman John Lewis: What did you say?

Counterman: Crackers. Right here.

Congressman John Lewis: No, sir. I . . . do . . . not . . . like . . . crackers. Like you.

IV. Back home in the evening

Lillian Lewis: Hi, dear. How was your day?

Congressman John Lewis: Now, don't you go talking to me like that old racist b****, Lurleen Wallace.


Story. Also here. Related.


UPDATE: "A careful review of my earlier statement would reveal that I did not compare my wife to that old racist b****, Lurleen Wallace," Lewis stated. "It was not my intention or desire to do so. I compared her 'talking' to that old racist b****'s talking. My statement was a reminder to all Americans that I'm a senile old racist, myself."

Click here to read more . . .

If Barack Obama were Jewish, instead of the Second Coming of Jesus, Part 10

Obama (shouting into his cell phone): . . . no, Ma . . . Ma . . . it's not . . . it's not the Weather Channel, Ma. . . it's . . . it's the Weather Underground . . . yeah, UNDERground, Ma . . . but Ma . . . you remember, Ma . . . I was eight . . . I was eight years old when it . . . it happened, Ma . . . they say he's unrepentent . . . but, Ma . . . I thought . . . I thought he was rehabilitated . . . no . . . no, Ma . . . unrepentent, Ma . . . no, Ma . . . no . . . yeah, repent . . . I know Thursday was . . . it was Yom Kippur, Ma . . . but, Ma . . . Ma . . . Bill Ayers isn't . . . he isn't Jewish, Ma . . . Ma . . .

Click here to read more . . .

Sarah Palin answers the 3 a.m. call, Part 2

(The darkened outside of a house is seen, followed by a shot of a young child sleeping in bed.)

Voiceover: It's 3 a.m., and your children are safe and asleep. But there's a phone on the campaign, and it's ringing. Something's happening in the world.

(Cut away to Sarah Palin picking up the telephone.)

Sarah Palin: Yes, dear. Um, hmmm. Oh, gosh, he'll burp if you put him on the changing table and push his knees up to his chest. Try it ten times. He'll burp, guaranteed.

(Cut to John McCain.)

John McCain: I'm John McCain and I approve a good, strong burp in the middle of the night.

Click here to read more . . .

Saturday evening linkfest

If you've been wondering whether I've been taken into the Witness Protection Program -- kind of like those shirts sold by Chinese vendors on the streets of Washington ("You Don't Know Me") -- the answer is YES! I've been taken into the Witness Protection Program.

But I've just been kicked out.

This has been the busiest period for me at work in over three years, and I've been in total panic mode. Until Friday, I didn't think I would be able to handle it, and now I think there's a least a slim chance. So things are looking up.

In honor of this, I'd like to give you a short linkfest. I should have some original stupidity up relatively soon.

1. The Jewish Community Center of Greater Washington is having a book festival, and one of the books featured (see page 5 of the PDF brochure here) is Louis Ferrante's Unlocked: A Journey from Prison to Proust, which the brochure describes this way:

Louis Ferrante, former Mafia associate in the Gambino crime family, was taken down by federal agents and sentenced to over twelve years in prison. In prison, he began a dramatic journey towards redemption and rehabilitation – culminating in the surprising and unexpected discovery of an innate passion for literature, writing and Orthodox Judaism. This is a Mafia memoir unlike any other!

I mention this solely to repeat my son's quip: "An aufruf you can't refuse."

2. Public Service Announcement: If you feel the need to urinate on your neighbor's porch, don't dress in a cow suit.

3. Your web browser hates you. (scary hat tip: fee simple)

4. Your wedding guests hate you.

5. Sarah Palin hates you.

Na, I'm just kidding. Actually, Sarah Palin used a PR consultant in Alaska. (via HotAir) And speaking of Sarah Palin, I did a post about six weeks ago called "Sarah Palin is evil." The post attracted numerous internet bottom-dwelling scum-suckers and has my largest number of comments for any post. My total for visitors who arrived on searches for "Sarah Palin is evil" or an equivalent is now up to 1650. The total who arrived on searches for "Sarah Palin is an idiot" or an equivalent is well over 1000.

Click here to read more . . .

Barack Obama practices his wink

"Don't sell the American people short," [David] Axelrod told reporters after the debate. "I'm sure they liked Gov. Palin, but they need more than a wink and a smile."

Byron York, National Review Online,
Sarah Palin, the Winner by a Wink


Obama: Like this, then?

Axelrod: No, no. It looks like someone kicked sand in your eye. You can't appear weak.

Obama: OK, watch me now.

Axelrod: Still wrong. It's like your contact got stuck in your eyelid.

Obama: Wait, wait a minute. I've been studying the tapes. She did it almost exactly that way.

Axelrod: No, she didn't. And you gotta remember to smile when you do it. Smile!

Obama: OK, OK, OK. Let me try it again. "We can't afford four more years of the same failed Bush policies." [He winks and smiles.] "John McCain will break into your elderly mother's house, steal her wallet, urinate on her front door, and kick her dog on his way out." [He winks and smiles.]

Axelrod:

Obama: What now?

Axelrod:

Obama: You're giving me that look.

Axelrod:

Obama: OK, I guess we're done with that exercise. Now, should I wear a black dress? David? David?

Click here to read more . . .

Sarah Palin answers the 3 a.m. call

(The darkened outside of a house is seen, followed by a shot of a young child sleeping in bed.)

Voiceover: It's 3 a.m., and your children are safe and asleep. But there's a phone on the campaign, and it's ringing. Something's happening in the world.

(Cut away to Sarah Palin picking up the telephone.)

Sarah Palin: Todd? What is it?

(She pauses a second.)

Sarah Palin: Damn it, Todd! It's 3:00 in the morning. Just get that boy's ass out of her room, now! I know he's gonna marry her, but hasn't he caused enough trouble already?

(Cut to John McCain)

John McCain: I'm John McCain, and I approve of getting that boy's sorry ass out of that room.


UPDATE (10/6): Wow, the crew at LGF didn't like this. It's at -14. They must have assumed that I'm some left-wing jerk mocking Palin.

Click here to read more . . .

If Barack Obama were Jewish, instead of the Second Coming of Jesus, Part 9

Obama (shouting into his cell phone): . . . no . . . no . . . Ma . . . no . . . I know it's serious . . . yeah . . . a crisis . . . I know . . . I know about the investment banks . . . yeah . . . I know . . . no . . . no . . . I'm not suspending . . . not suspending my campaign . . . no . . . no . . . look, Ma . . . look . . . I need to win . . . win the election . . . I need to win it . . . no . . . no . . . look . . . look, Ma . . . there are 99 others . . . other senators who can . . . who can debate it . . . no . . . OK, 98 . . . yeah, if Biden stays away . . . yeah . . . yeah . . . it's OK, Ma . . . it IS . . . yeah . . . yeah . . . what? . . . protect Herbie? . . . no, Ma . . . no . . . listen to me, Ma . . . listen to me . . . no . . . Herbie Goldman is . . . he's got nothing to do with Goldman Sachs . . . Ma . . . Ma . . .

Click here to read more . . .

I'm still here

I'm still here, but I've been quiet for the past couple of days because of (a) work; (b) a computer that's uncooperative, if not outright hostile; and (c) a bout of weltschmertz.

So meanwhile, I invite you to do the following:

1. Consider my proposed new benchmark for the Jewish vote, written in November 2004. Am I way off base?

2. Look at the speech Sarah Palin would have given at the anti-Ahmadinejad rally, had she not been unceremoniously "disinvited," and tell me how much the Jewish Democrats have harmed the cause of American Jews and Israel, using a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is not at all and 10 is utterly and irreparably.

3. Read this article ("Clinton: 'I get why Palin is hot'") and watch this clip at HotAir. Then tell me whether Bill Clinton has read my most recent photo comic or, alternatively, whether his behavior is so obvious that I had little trouble getting it down to the last, er, electoral vote.

Click here to read more . . .

The Inquiring Photographer: Who's responsible for the economic crisis?

The Inquiring Photographer asks:

"Who is responsible for the current Wall Street financial crisis?"



"The money changers at the Temple of Greed. I have overturned their tables."

Barack Obama, Illinois










"The Russians. I can see them through my telescope from Alaska, and the deed was plotted in that room right next to what's obviously Putin's bedroom, if you catch my drift."

Sarah Palin, Alaska








"Franklin Raines, who ran Fannie Mae into the ground, and a bunch of other Big Scary Black Dudes."

John McCain, Arizona










"Too busy campaigning for Obama to give you much detail, but I agree it was the BSBDs."

Hillary Clinton, New York










"It wasn't the Russians, but she can check out my bedroom any time."

Bill Clinton, Arkansas











"I have no idea at all. I'm going home."

Harry Reid, Nevada










"It was a lot of paper money, the Federal Reserve, and the Jewish bankers."

Ron Paul, Alpha Centauri










"Pat Buchanan. Buchanan is responsible for all evil in the world, except when he endorses Obama's policy toward Israel."

Robert Wexler, Florida (Not)










"I'm cool with 'the Jewish bankers.' When the man's right, he's right."

Jeremiah Wright, Flying Spittle









Previous:

The Inquiring Photographer: Where will you invade?

The Inquiring Photographer: How did you propose?

The Inquiring Photographer: What form of torture?

The Inquiring Photographer: Leaving your place of worship?

The Inquiring Photographer: Is Obama's nomination significant?

Click here to read more . . .

"Is He 'The One'?"

That's the headline, and no, I'm sorry to report that Cosmopolitan is NOT posing John McCain's mocking question about Obama.

Read this article and weep, because Cosmo is giving women the usual, patented, high-quality advice you can expect from that source about whether your guy is marriage material. OK, I threw in that stuff about "marriage material," because Cosmo can't quite get itself to use that dubious terminology. The article speaks, instead, of being "life partners." Oh, well, let's take what we can get.

Click here to read more . . .

Visitor of the day -- 9/18

I know what an "Obama shofar sound" is. It's the sh'varim, the three broken wailing notes that, with the right inflection, sound exactly like someone complaining that it's mean to suggest that he's laughably unqualified to be president.

Click here to read more . . .

Wednesday linkfest

After I do a long photo comic, like the one I posted on Monday (Bill Clinton agrees to campaign for Obama), it's hard to get back to normal posts. Unlike most of the garbage I post here, photo comics take a long time, and the hardest part is working out the text, not doing the voice bubbles, which can be done in an hour or two.

So I'm going to coast a little longer by giving you some links I've been accumulating for the past several weeks.

1. This is actually not a link, but I'm including it, anyway. The son of our friends, a good friend of my son, is in Taiwan, where he applied for a scooter license. Among the questions on the exam were these:

1. When a motorcyclist is not happy, usually he/she: (1) is emotionless (2) is not compassionate (3) is angry.

2. Time for honking, each time is: (1) within 2 seconds (2) within 1 second (3) within half a second.

3. Motorcyclist's clothing: (1) is free (2) slippers are ok (3) must be clean.

Then, there were a bunch of signs with Chinese on them, and he had to guess what they meant.

2. No linkfest would be complete without a link to a post about an incinerating toilet. Be sure to watch the video at the company's website. No butt hair was singed in the preparation of the video. Bonus: Also at InventorSpot: Russian scientist solves problem of smelly feet.

3. We all hate grammar ignoramuses, and some of us are annoyed by typos, but few of us engage in vandalism over them. (via How Appealing)

4. A reader at Instapundit creates a political ad about the meltdown at Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.

5. We'll have to take Obama's criticism of a McCain ad on comprehensive sex education for kindergarteners with a grain of salt.

6. Is Obama too tight with his teleprompter? (hat tip: fee simple)

7. A follow-up by Steven Plaut related to Soccer Dad's post below on Michelle Obama's "rabbi" relative.

8. A columnist at Haaretz is scared to death of Sarah Palin. But the Republican Jewish Coalition flips Congressman Robert Wexler's idiotic linking of Palin with Pat Buchanan and shows that Buchanan's views on Israel are like Obama's.

9. "Tryst turns into $50K robbery for RNC delegate." Plus, quotation of the day: "'As a single man, I was flattered by the attention of a beautiful woman who introduced herself to me. I used poor judgment. If there is any good that can come from this humiliation, it is to caution others that date rape happens to men, too,' he said."

Click here to read more . . .

We get comments

Shortly after Sarah Palin was announced as John McCain's running mate, I put up a post called "Sarah Palin is evil." Playing into the insane reaction to her from the lunatic left and the mainstream media (but I repeat myself), the post was a spoof of the site "Bert is Evil." That's Bert, as in Sesame Street. The most famous of the "Bert is evil" photos is one in which Bert is photoshopped next to Osama bin Laden. A sign with that photo on it actually made it into an anti-American protest in, I believe, Pakistan. (Correct me if that's been debunked.) So I photoshopped Palin next to OBL. She was saying, "I killed Bert, as you requested." Ha, ha. Get it? I later added a photoshop of Palin as Natasha, next to Boris Badenov.

In the past 2-1/2 weeks, I've had well over 1,000 visitors to that post from searches for "Sarah Palin is evil" and similar searches. Another 750 or so visitors have arrived from searches for "Sarah Palin idiot." Don't worry, we're just having a little fun with you, guys.

But one visitor overnight didn't see the humor. He (I assume it was a "he") left the following delightful message in the comments:

If there's any justice left in the world, then you conservative nazis will all get cancer and die a very slow and painful death. Sadly, there's really no justice left.

I've seen numerous comments like this at other blogs, so I don't find it shocking, even if it's obviously repellent. I have a section on the right sidebar called "Plaudits for Pillage Idiot," in which I quote commenters who've called me stupid, pathetic, etc. I don't think this comment qualifies.

Now, I have no intention of attributing this sickness to everyone on the left. To my regret, some conservatives will say horrible things about their adversaries, too. But I'll never understand how some people are so deranged they would think this, let alone write it, let alone write it in the comments to someone's blog.

Based on the IP address -- yes, you creep, I have your IP address -- this is someone who lives in, or around, Calgary, Alberta. In other words, a Canadian. Bwahaha! You have wannabe-fascist government agencies prosecuting people for "wrong" opinions on matters of public policy, and you call us Nazis? Let me know when you live in a free country, and then we'll discuss who's really evil.

Click here to read more . . .

Bill Clinton agrees to campaign for Obama

For previous Clinton photo comics:

Bill Clinton responds to the New York Times

Bill Clinton gives an interview

Hillary engages in some racial healing

Bill Clinton evaluates HillaryCare II

Bill Clinton supports Hillary's cleavage

Bill Clinton grabs some contributions for Hillary

Hillary responds to Kate Michelman

Hillary begins a conversation

Click here to read more . . .

The barbecue

Is it just me, or does Mr. Obama seem to be past his "sell by" date?

I'm just wondering, because it seems to me that if you're running as the Second Coming of Jesus, you sort of have to keep throwing out for us a new miracle every couple of weeks. Right about now, Jesus -- I mean, Obama -- looks more like he's struggling to keep that fake hair and beard attached to his head.

Maybe I'm wrong.

I'm sure I could be. But I'd like you to read about the barbecue described by Kat-Mo at Ace's, featuring these characters: "Uncle John" McCain; Psuedo-Professor, Professional Community Organizer Obama, MA, BS; "Uncle Joe" Biden; and "Cousin Sarah" Palin. It sounds a little odd in my description, but if you read it, it makes a heck of a lot of sense.

Click here to read more . . .

If Barack Obama were Jewish, instead of the Second Coming of Jesus, Part 8

Obama (shouting into his cell phone): . . . no, no . . . please . . . please listen to me . . . no . . . please . . . just hear me out . . . no . . . no . . . the "pig" thing . . . the line "lipstick on a pig" . . . no . . . no . . . no, that's just a saying . . . it IS . . . that's ALL . . . it's just a saying, Rabbi . . .


Story

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Sarah Palin and the Ollie North Effect

I began working in Washington in May 1987, just in time for two major events in American political history: the Bork nomination and Oliver North's testimony at the Iran-Contra hearings.

One could write volumes about the differences between Bork's mishandling of the media and North's success, but I have no plans to do that. I'd just like to refresh your recollection about North's testimony.




If you still don't know what I'm talking about, read the retrospective at Extreme Mortman from last year, regarding the 20th anniversary of North's testimony. A sampling:

More than mere testimony in a scandal that rocked the Ronald Reagan presidency, it was the last great nationwide media event before the Internet changed politics. This was all television, in its purest grand form.

With 60 million people watching, it bumped soap operas. But this was far better than any other daytime drama. This was real life.

In the Washington Post, Tom Shales called Col. North the “television champion.”

And why not? North testified in his military uniform, featuring six rows of medals on his chest. He got emotional and misty-eyed at the right moments, with a to-die-for catch in his throat. The picture of North taking the oath is one of the great political images of the modern era.

And more:

And Time magazine said about North: “He played brilliantly upon the collective values of America, upon its nostalgias, its memories of a thousand movies (James Stewart in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, John Wayne in They Were Expendable) and Norman Rockwell Boy Scout icons.”

Even Eleanor Clift dropped her jaw, saying on “The McLaughlin Group”: “I think he touched a chord in all of us. He’s Rocky, Rambo, Patton and the boy next door all wrapped up in one.”

Democratic leader Sen. George Mitchell was smitten, too: “Most Americans are taken by his personality.”

The committee obviously expected to eat North's lunch. They figured North would play the bad guy for them, but the attempt to browbeat him went awry. The public overwhelmingly supported North.

In fact, so popular did Col. North become that men and boys began getting haircuts like his:

THE Oliver L. North craze that has swept the country has swept me along with it in a way you will never believe.

It has taught the barbers I deal with how to give me the kind of haircut I have been battling to get from them for the past 10 years.

That's right. It's the "Ollie" haircut, which I understand has become almost as popular as Colonel North himself.

I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this. Like North, Palin was subjected to politically hostile fire; she's shown toughness and charm in fighting off her opponents; and the public -- or at least a lot of the public -- has been taken with her.

So much so that people are analyzing her fashion statements, and I'm totally not making that up. You really need to read this post from the LA Times "entertainment" section (i.e., the entire newspaper) called "Sarah Palin: Politics of fashion." (via JWF) The post has 14 photos of Palin, with some dead-serious fashion commentary and an accompanying vote (Misses the target / VP bull's-eye / Too beauty queen / Too backwoods). My favorite commentary is not what JWF likes ("the wild woman within"), although that's pretty good. What I like is this helpful advice from a "trend forecaster":

The big question is how she will update her look, as the election draws near and a possible formal inaugural looms? Will she lighten up the dark eyeshadow and too-obvious lip liner?

It’s probably not advisable. Trend forecaster Tom Julian, official fashion voice for the Oscar.com for over a decade, doesn’t think Palin should frouff up drastically. “A complete head-to-toe makeover might make her look more acceptable for the fashion magazines," Julian explains. "But it would also cause voters to doubt her authentic loner image.”

Here's one of the photos.




I say: Don't mess with Sarah, but the fashion writer says "Fastening overkill." (Wait until Robin Givhan of the Washington Post gets her claws into her.)

Finally, just as with Oliver North, people are even getting Palin haircuts, though probably not the women on MSNBC.

Oh, and I should point that The Ollie North Effect can be abbreviated as The ONE. Hmmmmmmm.

Extra: Some diarist at Kos got this connection even before I did.

Click here to read more . . .

If Barack Obama were Jewish, instead of the Second Coming of Jesus, Part 7

Obama (shouting into his cell phone): . . . yeah, Ma . . . yeah . . . yeah . . . I did go to law school . . . yeah . . . no . . . no, Ma . . . Ma . . . listen to me, Ma . . . yeah . . . I know you told me that . . . yeah . . . don't make me repeat that, Ma . . . no . . . no . . . yeah, all right . . . OK . . . OK . . . "I should have listened to you and gone straight to law school instead of becoming a community organizer" . . . but Ma . . . Ma . . .


Story

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Mmmmm, toothpaste!

Are you frustrated because your toothpaste always seems to come in exactly two flavors -- mint and, uh, mint? (Three, for you extremists out there who use baking-soda-flavored toothpaste.)

Never fear. The folks at InventorSpot have exactly the concept for you: Pork-flavored toothpaste. Yes, pork. The other white meat.

Some of you may be aware that pork is not, technically speaking (and you'll excuse me for being so picky), kosher. But since some enterprising souls have been working on ways to make household equipment that orthodox Jews can use on shabbat, I'm confident that their collective wisdom and creativity can be put to the use of making pork-flavored toothpaste that is kosher. I'm thinking imitation pork flavoring. I mean, I've eaten vegetarian pork before, so this shouldn't be very difficult.

Now, building on the InventorSpot concept should be easy. We have a political campaign going on, and I intend to recommend a new flavor of toothpaste for the Democratic ticket, at least the part at the top.

Arugula.

Mmmmm. You can almost taste it, can't you? And it's not so expensive at Whole Foods.

Click here to read more . . .

Boxers, briefs, or . . . V-Neck tee shirts?

One of the pleasures of not working in a law firm is that I don't have to worry about what to wear. In particular, I don't have to worry about what's appropriate for business casual.

My personal view of business casual is that it's foolish. Either poop or get off the pot. In other words, dress like a man (in a suit), or dress regular casual.

In case you, too, have avoided the farce of business casual, you might not realize what kinds of problems this creates.

Here's an important question (via Above the Law):

Q. My son will be working as an intern in one of the big Wall Street firms this summer. They do not have to wear ties but will be wearing dress shirts. Should he wear a crewneck T-shirt under his shirt, which will obviously show at the neck, or a V-neck? Thanks!

I'm going to tell you the correct answer (my answer, that is). Wear a crew neck shirt with a collar that at most peeks out. Never wear a V-neck tee shirt. The V is not a masculine shape, if you know what I mean. You'll look like a freakin' metrosexual. And, no, you may not skip the tee shirt entirely when you wear a dress shirt. No bare chest for you. Because if you don't wear one, the armpits of your dress shirt are going to look as if your personal glaciers have been melting from global warming. End of story.

I didn't like answer of the columnist who posed the question, so here's a second opinion, also via ATL:

According to Carney, "in some circles it's seen as risqué and trashy not to wear an undershirt." And I'm sure a lot of people would argue the display of chest hair could potentially paralyze an otherwise promising career. However, the case study after the jump demonstrates that for some people, and only if you are sex on a stick like the subject that follows, letting your curly q's stick out can be the ticket to the big leagues. Bow chica wow wow.

And if you click on the link, note the problem with the men in the photo. They have TWO buttons open. Only one, guys. Only one.

Now, in light of the models at the top of the ATL post, and the lustful comment from a German reporter-ess when seeing Barack Obama work out at the gym, I had planned to photoshop the Democratic nominee in various tee shirts.

It turns out that wasn't necessary. I found a site called Dress Up Barack Obama. There aren't tee shirts there, but there are a lot of other clothing options at the site. To play, click on "Let's Get Dressed."

If you want to see what I came up with there, copy and paste this into the appropriate box at the site:

{f:1,mc:_level0.character_mc},{d:5013,c:hat,y:-72.95,x:1.55000000000001,mc:hat003},{d:4011,c:glasses,y:42.5,x:30.55,mc:glasses001},{d:3011,c:shirt,y:111.5,x:15.5,mc:shirt009},{d:2007,c:pants,y:201.6,x:22.8,mc:pants002},{d:1009,c:shoes,y:340.05,x:16.1,mc:shoes003}

Click here to read more . . .

More anagrams

Last week, I gave you anagrams for Obama-Biden. Now, I'm compelled to give you anagrams for McCain-Palin.

Right off the top, we have:

CALM IN PANIC

For John McCain / Sarah Palin, we get:

MACHO CHAPLAIN JARS INN

If you cheat a little and use McCain's first name, you can get these:

JOHN'S A RACIAL MAN, PINCH
IS JOHN ANARCHIC NAPALM?
CARNAL MANIAC? JOHN'S HIP
JOHN'S ANIMAL CRAP CHAIN

As before, if you come up with better ones, leave them in the comments.

Click here to read more . . .

Lightning will come shooting

Sometimes I give you linkfests, but I think this one deserves its own mini-post.

With Obama, the divine one, giving his speech tonight in front of a Greek temple, I thought we could all use a little photoshop from S. Weasel. (Mild content warning.)

And do not -- repeat, do not -- neglect to scroll through the comments, where there are additional photoshops (my personal favorite being the third one, at 5:22 p.m.).

Click here to read more . . .

Hillary's PUMAs get their roll-call vote

What follows is a partial transcript of the historic roll-call vote.

********************
VOICE (coming over loudspeaker): . . . and Alabama gives 27 votes to Barack Obama. (Wild cheering.)

PUMA 1 (speaking into microphone): And 25 votes for Hillary Rodham Clinton!

VOICE: And 5 votes for Hillary Clinton. (Some cheering. A few female screams are heard.)

PUMA 1: No, no! It's 25 votes.

VOICE: What?

PUMA 1: 25 votes.

VOICE: I can't hear you.

PUMA 1: 25 votes for Hillary from Alabama.

VOICE: We'll straighten it out later.

DIFFERENT VOICE: The great state of Alaska gives 10 votes to Barack Obama, the next president of the United States. (Loud cheering.)

VOICE: Alaska has 10 votes for Barack Obama.

PUMA 2 (into microphone): And 3 votes for Hillary Clinton.

VOICE: What?

PUMA 3: She said Alaska has 3 votes for Hillary Clinton.

VOICE: I can't hear you.

PUMA 1: The acoustics in here are awful.

PUMA 2: The sound echoes all over.

PUMA 4 (shouting into microphone): Did you hear that? Alaska has 3 votes for Hillary?

VOICE: I still can't hear you.

(The sound of a toilet flushing.)

PUMA 3: Damn it, Brian! It's hard enough for them to hear us in here. Can't you wait?

PUMA 1: And there are women here, too.

BRIAN: Sorry. It was the coffee.

Click here to read more . . .

If Barack Obama were Jewish, instead of the Second Coming of Jesus, Part 6

Obama (shouting into his cell phone): No . . . no . . . Bill, no . . . Bill . . . I know, Bill . . . listen to me . . . sha shtil . . . listen, Bill, you're . . . you're the last goddam Democratic president . . . and . . . and . . . and people look up to you, so . . . yeah, Bill . . . and it's my damned convention now, Bill . . . yeah . . . and you can't . . . you can't say that s---, you know . . . about . . . about supporting some other candidate who . . . who can deliver . . . no, Bill . . . no . . . no, don't give me that crap . . . I heard . . . I heard what you said . . . Bill . . . Bill, I thought we had a deal . . . and . . . what do I get, huh? . . . I'll tell you . . . bupkes . . . that's what I've got from you . . . and . . . and . . . no, Bill . . . no, don't try to tell me it was . . . it was hypothetical . . . 'cause I wasn't born yesterday, Bill . . . no, Bill, you're trying to . . . to do me in . . . why, Bill? . . . why? . . . Bill? . . . Bill??!! . . . UCCH, mamzer hung up on me again . . .


Story.

UPDATE (8/27): And now, HotAir has the video.

Click here to read more . . .

Anagram time once again

The names OBAMA and BIDEN seem to work well with Boggle, but I wanted to try to get some anagrams out of them, too.

BAD NAME, BIO (Obama himself)
BAD BIO, MEAN (Obama and Biden)
BOMB AN IDEA
I BOMB A DEAN (the semi-official Bill Ayers anagram)
ON A DIM BABE
DEAN, A BIMBO
NO MAID, BABE
NAB MOB AIDE (the inevitable Chicago anagram)

If you add first names, as in BARACK OBAMA / JOE BIDEN, you can come up with a few doozies.

RABBI MADE A BACON JOKE
A BAREBACK MAID, JOB ONE
MAC JOB: A BARE NAKED BIO
I JAB A CROOKED MAN, BABE
A BAD MAN, O CABBIE JOKER

Well, that's all I had time for this morning. Feel free to add yours in the comments.

Previous: Anagrams. More anagrams here and here. And "Columbia Journalism Review mocks Pillage Idiot."

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Joe Biden works with his speechwriter

Through the miracle of electronic eavesdropping, we here at Pillage Idiot were privy to a conversation between Joe Biden and the speechwriter he's using to draft his acceptance speech as the vice presidential nominee at the Democratic convention this week in Denver.

Here is a partial transcript.

SW: I do understand, Senator. I see what you're trying to do. But . . .

Biden: Don't "but" me like that, Butthead. I've served in the Senate since before you were born.

SW: Technically, Senator, I don't think . . .

Biden: You don't think, is right. I'm the one who thinks here. Remember that.

SW: What I was saying was, I see what you're trying to do, but you really can't start your speech with "Four score and seven years ago."

Biden: What's wrong with it? Language a little . . . archaic?

SW: No . . .

Biden: Because it wouldn't work for me to say "87 years ago." I mean, try it. "87 years ago, our fathers and mothers brought forth . . ." No, it just wouldn't work.

SW: I realize . . .

Biden: You don't realize anything. Listen to me. I got simultaneous law degrees at Harvard, Yale, and Oxford. I'm the one who realizes.

SW: I realize that, Senator.

Biden: Don't you understand what an important year 1921 was?

SW: Yes, but . . .

Biden: There you go, "but"-ting me again.

SW: But Senator, there are millions of people who will be watching your speech. If you start it with "Four score and seven years ago," people will . . . they'll think . . .

Biden: People don't think. They're like you.

SW: They'll know where that line . . .

Biden: Get this through your thick skull. My IQ is at least two score and ten points higher than yours.

SW: All right, OK. But can't we at least take out the part about dedicating a portion of that field as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives? Please?

Click here to read more . . .

The top ten ways that McCain has cheated

MS. ANDREA MITCHELL: * * * The Obama people must feel that he didn't do quite as well as they might have wanted to in that context, because that -- what they're putting out privately is that McCain may not have been in the cone of silence and may have had some ability to overhear what the questions were to Obama. * * * He seemed so well prepared.

When we heard that McCain was well prepared, we knew he must have cheated, so we sent the crack Pillage Idiot research team scurrying (yours truly sitting on the Metro with a note pad) to find out whether McCain had also cheated in the past.

The answer: He had, and we are not surprised at how frequent this behavior has been.

1. McCAIN CHEATED by tricking the North Vietnamese into imprisoning and torturing him for five years by falsely claiming he knew the recipe for egg salad that was so good you could plotz.

2. McCAIN CHEATED by duping his Hanoi Hilton guard into making a cross on the floor by telling the guard he'd play tic-tac-toe with him.

3. McCAIN CHEATED by pretending to cheat on his first wife in order to have a good response when some religious leader asked him to disclose his greatest moral failure.

4. McCAIN CHEATED by posting photos of Dick Cheney's crotch at the online dating site where he met Cindy.

5. McCAIN CHEATED, when calling for a surge in Iraq, by sneaking a glance into the future to see what the result was going to be.

6. McCAIN CHEATED by persuading Hillary to run for President by convincing her that no one could possibly support an inexperienced first-term black senator with a history of radicalism.

7. McCAIN CHEATED by advising Rudy Giuliani to campaign only in Florida, telling him that the election would be decided with a recount in that state.

8. McCAIN CHEATED by suggesting to John Edwards that he really needed to have a documentary made of his campaign.

9. McCAIN CHEATED by bribing Putin to invade Georgia while Obama was body surfing in Hawaii, so that McCain could look like a serious candidate.

10. McCAIN CHEATED by lying about his age, claiming to be 71, when in fact he's 171. His mother is actually 196.

Click here to read more . . .

If Barack Obama were Jewish, instead of the Second Coming of Jesus, Part 5

Obama (shouting into his cell phone): No . . . no . . . Ma . . . no . . . first of all . . . first, Ma, it's . . . it's not diving . . . it's . . . it's called "body surfing" . . . yeah . . . yeah, body . . . yeah, no . . . no . . . not "bodice Irving" . . . no . . . body . . . body surfing . . . yeah . . . yeah, Ma . . . I guess . . . I guess you could say it's good when you're . . . when you're shvitzing . . . uh . . . yeah, Ma . . . yeah . . . what? . . . I did . . . yeah, I did . . . Ma . . . you worry too much . . . Ma . . . yeah . . . what? . . . 45, Ma . . . no . . . no . . . c'mon, Ma . . . Ma . . . it was 45, Ma . . . how high do you . . . no . . . what do you mean 120? . . . Ma . . . Ma . . . no, Ma . . . sunscreen doesn't go up to 120 . . . Ma . . .


Photos here. Video here.

Click here to read more . . .

Phallacious reasoning

I thought the whole McCain campaign was supposed to be infused with coded racial messages, but it turns out it's infused with coded sexual messages.

This column by Paul Waldman probably takes the stupidity prize in a campaign already buried in stupid writing. Don't read it if you can't bear to see the word "penis" twice in the fourth paragraph. Don't read it if your tolerance for stupidity is low. Otherwise, read it and weep.

(via HotAir)

Click here to read more . . .

The "inside baseball" on the candidates' VP picks

We know almost nothing about the presidential candidates' vice presidential picks, with the possible exception of the fact that Obama says he's going to announce his pick by text messaging.

So I've come up with the top three "inside baseball" choices for each of the candidates.

John McCain:

1. Home Run: Henry Aaron.

Pros:

* Greatest non-steroidal home run hitter ever

* Tremendous dignity

* Neutralizes race issue

Cons:

* Alabama already solid for McCain

* Republican affiliation doubtful (but see Lieberman, Joe)


2. Triple: Joe Torre

Pros:

* Highly popular in large blue states (New York, California)

* Four World Championship titles as manager

* Calm in a storm (see Steinbrenner, George and Hank)

Cons:

* Almost as old as McCain

* Five-o'clock shadow shames Richard Nixon


3. Texas-League Double: Gary Carter

Pros:

* Solid throwing arm

* Could be popular with evangelicals

* If asked, he'd be there tomorrow (see Randolph, Willie)

Cons:

* Too exciteable (see Quayle, Dan)


Barack Obama:

1. Home Run: Steve Carlton

Pros:

* One of greatest southpaws ever

* Mean slider

* Nickname "Lefty" will wow Kos Kids

Cons:

* Won't talk to press


2. Triple: Manny Ramirez

Pros:

* Hits everywhere with power

* Appeals to Hispanics

* Will be available early if Dodgers don't make post-season

Cons:

* Not natural-born citizen

* Manny is Manny


3. Texas-League Double: Phil Rizzuto

Pros:

* Decades of experience

* Popular among the "cling to guns and religion" crowd

Cons:

* Repetitive catch-phrases ("Holy cow!")

* Deceased


Bob Barr:

Foul ball off his foot: Mark "The Bird" Fidrych

Pros:

* Good mesh with Barr (totally nuts)

Cons:

* Totally nuts

Click here to read more . . .

When "CPA" means "Jew"

Timothy Noah covers the Lieberman-Cheney debate in October 2000

. . . and it's really quite obvious that Cheney's reference to CPAs is a not-so-veiled allusion to Lieberman's Jewish background. What Cheney said was, "You have to be a CPA to understand what he just said." A CPA. Get it? He could just as easily have said, "You have to be a Jew to understand what that Jew just said." And then Cheney went on to say, "The fact of the matter is the plan is so complex that the ordinary American is never going to ever figure out what they even qualify for." The "ordinary American," as opposed to the Jew. That's not very subtle, either, painting the Jew as the Other.

I asked a Cheney spokesman why the Vice Presidential nominee had used these stereotypes of Jews, and he insisted that Cheney was not alluding in any way to religion when he criticized Lieberman's answer. "That's just idiocy of the highest order," he told me. But I firmly disagree that a religious reading of Cheney's answer is "idiocy." Cheney's failure to see it is just a wee bit clueless. I mean, when was the last time you met a CPA who wasn't Jewish? You know how good Jews are with money, right? That reminds me of an episode of "I Love Lucy," in which Ricky . . .

Update: Timothy Noah covers the Bush-Ferraro debate in 1984

The subtext of Bush's call for cutting taxes is clearly Ferraro's husband John Zaccaro's financial dealings, which is a backhanded way of saying that women are responsible for whatever mischief their husbands engage in. That is, it's impossible for women to have any independence once they're married. Another implication is that women are essentially innumerate.

Update: Timothy Noah covers the Lincoln-Douglas debates

. . . and Lincoln just can't keep himself from throwing around the word "slave," which is clearly a code word for "black."


Slate: When "Skinny" Means "Black"

Click here to read more . . .

From the Pillage Idiot "Spam Period"

In Peter Schickele's hilarious biography of P.D.Q. Bach, the author divides the composer's work into three periods -- the "Initial Plunge," the "Soused Period," and "Contrition."

I thought it was the least I could do to create a period for myself called the "Spam Period," the roughly 48-hour period when Pillage Idiot was shut down by Blogger as a potential spam blog. I'm going to post some junk I was unable to post during that period. And I'd like to make it clear that I have not yet reached "contrition," if I ever do.

Kool-Aid party over at Rabbi Jack Moline's place

I'm relieved to see that nothing, nothing can shake the Jews out of their politika mi-sinai (my bastardized Hebrew approximately meaning "politics given at Mount Sinai"). According to the Washington Jewish Week, Northern Virginia Jews are mobilizing to support Obama. Isn't that special?

Rabbi Moline is actually a pretty sensible guy in general (but see), so it's even worse for him to be trying to sell undecided Jews like this:

Moline assured his listeners that Obama's record on Israel is "stellar," and that there is "nothing in the senator's record to indicate that he would make any other concessions than the current president" would make.

Questions about Obama's support for Israel are a cover, Moline said, for underlying prejudice.

"We have to own up to the prejudice in our own community. There are plenty of people who say they're ambivalent about him because he's black, he has a middle name that sounds like the deposed president of Iraq, that he's the son of a single mother," Moline told the gathering. "Those prejudices in our community generally don't get spoken. They get expressed in questions about Israel."

I guess Rabbi Moline thinks Jews can't legitimately be concerned about Obama's associations with folks like Rashid Khalidi or his 20-year association with Jeremiah Wright, whom he disowned for calculating political reasons, or his association with William Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn, two domestic terrorists, whom he's never disowned, or an ever-emerging cast of characters. No, it's got to be prejudice, because what right-thinking Jewish person could not want to place hope in someone like him? Did the Children of Israel doubt Moses himself? And when the Torah said (Deut. 34:10), v'lo kam navi od b'yisrael k'moshe, could it possibly have meant to exclude Obama?

In all seriousness, I'm sure that when Obama says he supports Israel, he's as sincere as he is about anything. But really, why should Jews who are concerned about Israel not have the right to doubt a guy who wants to scale back American power? Without American power, Israel is doomed, no matter what nice things a political candidate says.

But it sure is easy to dismiss the concerns that some Jews have about him as purely based on prejudice. Thanks a bunch, Rabbi Moline.

Economics 101 -- tax policy

I thought everyone knew that when you cut taxes your revenue dropped and vice versa, so that when you doubled taxes, your revenue would double. It's called "static revenue analysis."

Apparently not.

The Washington Post reports: "Cigarette sales have dropped by nearly 25 percent in Maryland since the state's tobacco tax doubled in January, as sticker shock apparently has curtailed some residents' smoking and sent others across the border for better deals."

And of course, the folks who think government exists to change human behavior often have a totalitarian mentality -- when people react rationally to your policies, you try to squash them:

Maryland law seeks to limit out-of-state cigarette purchases. It is illegal for Maryland residents to be in possession of more than two packs of cigarettes lacking stamps showing that taxes were paid in the state.

We're not crashing into people's homes to see if they've purchased a pack or two more than they should out of the state, but we have a very aggressive effort concentrated on larger smugglers," said Joseph Shapiro, a spokesman for the Maryland Comptroller's Office.

So this is the way it works: Try to increase revenue by raising cigarette taxes. People reduce smoking or shop elsewhere. Tax revenues go down. So you call these smokers smugglers and threaten prosecution. Brilliant.

Miscellaneous

Pillage Idiot appears 4,000 years ago in Sumer: "Flatulence joke is world's oldest"

Say what you want about the President, but he's a really decent guy: The Party Crasher

Click here to read more . . .