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March 24, 2008

The Inquiring Photographer: Leaving your place of worship?

The Inquiring Photographer asks:

"Have you ever thought about leaving your place of worship because of something your clergyman said?"

"Yeah, the damn preacher couldn't stop talking about the Ten Commandments and whatnot. I kinda felt he was lookin' at me when he talked about adultery. Or maybe he was just lookin' at that hot brunette sitting behind me."

Bill Clinton, Arkansas

"Haaaaaahahahaha!! I would have expected that kind of question from someone like you."

Hillary Clinton, New York

"In all the years at my church, I actually never listened to the pastor. But in any event, I can no more criticize my pastor than I can criticize Michelle. That is, if I want to live to tell about it."

Barack Obama, Illinois

"I don't know where we came up with that old imam, 'cause, man, he was, like, we're in America, and we don't have to do that jihad s--- against the kafir. He's not with the mosque any more, if you know what I mean."

Keith Ellison, Minnesota

"Oy, we had a real problem with this rabbi we used to have. He'd give us total meshugas. Like he'd say, if you're on an airplane and the line to the restroom is too long and you can't wash before motzi, it's OK if you use one of those towelettes. Which has no halachic basis whatsoever. What a putz!"

Joe Lieberman, Connecticut

"We actually had a schism in our church, because the minister used to give provocative sermons, like once, he said that the account of creation in the Bible is mysterious."

Mike Huckabee, Arkansas

"We had a gentleman who used to say that Christianity was a cult."

Mitt Romney, Massachusetts

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