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January 31, 2007

Christian Zionists and left-wing anti-semites

Judith Weiss at Kesher Talk recently wrote an interesting and provocative post suggesting that the Christian Zionists' Bible-based rationale for Zionism is not an unalloyed positive. She wrote:

Listening to Pastor Hagee, I felt grateful that he recognizes the genuine existential threat to Israel, without being intimidated by political correctness; has the energy and persistence and personal authority to convince and mobilize others to use political clout and monetary donations to support Israel; and exhibits genuine courage and humility by doing so in the face of both death threats from antisemites and ongoing suspicion from the Jewish community (both of which he describes in the conference call).
But at the same time, she said she thought that his "intepretation of his religious imperatives leads him to be dismissive those of us who believe the re-instatement of a Jewish nation in Israel is more than legitimate, but think a Biblical justification is at best insufficient and at worst an impediment to the cause." She added, "If the main argument for the support of Israel is the authority of God, then using the authority of God to support the destruction of Israel (as with many Islamist theologians) can only be opposed by claiming 'my God is bigger than yours.'"

The discussion in the comments -- where she debated the point with co-bloggers Alcibiades and Benjamin -- was excellent, and I commend it to you.

I share some of Judith's misgivings, possibly because of my own religious doubts. But ultimately I think that the question is not what is the right argument for a right cause but rather what is an effective argument for a right cause. And my view is, "Let a thousand arguments bloom."

Despite my own misgivings about the nature of God-based arguments, I couldn't be more grateful for the leadership we've seen from Christian Zionists. So I was delighted to read that they have been publicly recognized -- at least once. At a dinner honoring the outgoing Israeli ambassador, Danny Ayalon, Congressman Tom Lantos, a California Democrat who's a Holocaust survivor, said what should have been said many times, and earlier. In the words of Arlene Samuels, who was there:
The chatty crowd quieted as Rep. Tom Lantos (D-CA), spoke eloquently about the past and the present world climate of anti-Semitism. Lantos, the only Holocaust survivor serving in Congress, disclosed, "I assumed naively that the chapter [Holocaust] of human history would be a dark nightmare moment of the past but that is not the case." He continued, "We have a new dimension, a convergence of historic anti-Semitism coupled with Muslims and the intellectual elite. This makes for a powerful cocktail yet, we have a powerful antidote [for anti-Semitism]; the decent Christians who learned the lessons of the Holocaust. The antidote to Auschwitz is the Christian community in the United States. We cannot tell you how precious you are to us. We deeply love and respect you more than you'll ever know because you represent the finest of civilization."

Rep. Lantos then said, "All Christians, please stand."

Christians don't advocate for Israel to gain accolades, yet when we stood, the sustained applause from Jewish hands settled on me like a crown. It's safe to say that other Christians in the hall, who have advocated for Israel much longer than I, felt the weight of the crown even more profoundly. With a noticeable contingent of evangelicals, including ICEJ Executive Director Rev. Malcolm Hedding, Earl Cox, (founder- Israel Always) and Ben Kinchlow, Co-hosts of Front Page Jerusalem Radio, I reveled in this historic moment in time; a moment which culminated 25 years of work and relationship-building between evangelical Christians and the state of Israel, pioneered in part by the International Christian Embassy Jerusalem who planted a small seed of Christian Zionism in 1980.
As Lantos suggested, things are not so rosy on the other side of the political divide. Anti-Zionism, often indistinguishable from anti-semitism, is on the increase on the political left, more so the farther left you go, and more so the more you get in with the activists.

In fact, the Anti-Defamation League conducted a conference this weekend called "Finding Our Voice," to help left-wing Jews deal with anti-Zionism and anti-semitism among their comrades.
Workshops will feature presentations by university professors, community activists, elected officials and religious leaders. Among the titles are “That’s Not Funny: Cartoons and Editorials — What’s Legitimate and What Isn’t”; Opposing the War While Opposing Anti-Semitism”; “Breaking Through the Myth of Jewish Whiteness”; and “Using Positive Messages to Challenge Hate: Advocacy on the Campus.”

The keynote address will be presented by Anthony Julius, a British Jewish attorney who successfully defended Emory University Professor Deborah Lipstadt in the libel suit brought by Holocaust denier David Irving.

While much attention has been paid to the so-called “new anti-Semitism,” in which antipathy toward Jews is masked as rabid criticism of Israel, the Finding Our Voice conference represents the first organized effort by liberal Jews to fight back.
More on the conference here, here, and at the American Thinker and JunkYardBlog.

Anti-semites on the right have been largely marginalized. For example, Bill Buckley purged a whole crew in the 50s and again a few in the 90s. But we're still waiting for liberals and progressives to do the same.

But first, you have to recognize you have a problem. And you won't when you have headlines like this: "Unlikely source of racism spurs Jews." Nor will you when you have people who are shocked about it, like this: "'The progressive movement is about tolerance and justice and peace,' Litman said. 'It seems so strange that hatefulness can have a home there.'"

And even if you recognize there's a problem, you can't blame yourself first:
A spokesperson for Jewish Voice for Peace, a liberal advocacy group working on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, said: “From our perspective, you cannot get to the roots of anti-Semitism in the progressive movement without honestly addressing the severe human-rights violations that Israel engages in every day. Judging by the lineup, that kind of honest examination is not likely to happen at this conference.”
I've used the metaphor of a boiling frog before. It works. That water is getting hotter and hotter.

Extra: The New York Times reports on an article about the American Jewish Committee's publication of an article accusing some Jews of aiding anti-semitism. (By the way, when did the Committee become a "conservative advocacy group"? What universe is the NY Times in? Don't answer that.)

Click here to read more . . .

JTS polls gay ordination

When I predicted that the decision of Conservative Judaism to ordain gay rabbis would be divisive, I could have been wrong -- and I was, at least if you believe the polling that the Jewish Theological Seminary has now done.

According to the press release I just linked, between 58% and 86% of different groups polled favored the decision. The 58% represents pro-decision rabbincal and cantorial students at JTS, and the 86% represents pro-decision women. The press release doesn't give the total percentages pro and con, but you'd have to peg support somewhere in the 60's, with opposition somewhere in the low 20's. What the poll doesn't say is what 20-plus percent opposition means. Do these people stay or leave? Now or later? If I were a supporter of the decision at JTS, I might be relieved that the support is so high but still worried about that level of minority opposition. But that's just a question of keeping the movement together.

Here's what drives me nuts about Conservative Judaism: At the same time Chancellor-elect Eisen is trumpeting the "remarkable unity of Conservative Jews nationwide in their support of the centrality of halakhah as a key principle of Conservative Judaism," he's announcing this poll, which was designed to find out how Conservative Jews feel about the issue of gay ordination.

Should the poll results matter? If there were more widespread opposition, would this change the halachic reasoning behind the decision? Does the support in the poll somehow validate the halachic reasoning?

When people like me move away from Conservative Judaism, it's because we think it's out there trying to validate the facts on the ground, rather than trying to act as a restraining influence to keep Conservative Jews closer to our tradition. We don't want the movement to come to us saying, "What you're already doing is right." That's why we're moving away from it -- because we want something to try to live up to, even if we don't, instead of a religion that wants to live down to us.

Click here to read more . . .

January 30, 2007

Bowling balls

Every time I try to stop writing about people doing strange things while naked, some article appears that makes me postpone my plan to go straight.

The latest is a piece in the Bangor Daily News entitled "Nude bowlers breaking no laws in Old Town."

Some nudists who have been renting the Old Town Bowling Center for private parties don’t appear to be breaking any laws or ordinances, but they are having fun candlepin bowling and playing pool.

"Hey, you can’t go skinny-dipping at this time of year," said Hessa, who organized the events and wanted to be identified only by her first name.

During the three events the Bare Nekkid Mainers have held in the center since September, the one-story building at 185 Center St. was closed, its windows and doors were covered in paper, and signs announced that a private party was in progress.

"I have absolutely no problem with it, and I hope nobody else does," Charles "Chip" Carson, the center’s owner, said Monday. "They just happen to like having a good time without their clothes on."
The trouble occurred recently, when "a man apparently ignored the signs and entered the center with his 8-year-old son." He called the police, who investigated (heh). They "found no violations, and after checking with the city attorney and municipal officials, they concluded there has been no wrongdoing."

And, yes, those of you who found my site through a search looking for a photo, there's a moderately SFW photo (with naughty bits blacked out) at the link above. I actually recommend that you look at it, because, after doing so, you won't necessarily feel like hopping the next plane to Bangor, if you know what I mean.

(Via Fark)

Click here to read more . . .

Tehran Times writes about anti-war protests

I guess it really doesn't matter whether you read about it in our domestic press or in the Tehran Times. Mostly the same difference.

But there's something quite bracing about reading an Iranian article, in English, called "Americans tell Bush 'enough is enough.'"

Click here to read more . . .

Fat, aging hippies

Earlier this month, when discussing the "impeach on the beach" event and other protests, I used the term "fat, aging hippies" to refer to the participants, and I said they were Nancy Pelosi's base.

One commenter took me to task, saying:

Aging and fat describes a good percentage of the population, you fool! If you want to disrespect someone for being a hippy, I suppose that's your choice, but you're not going to make any friends putting down old or fat folks.

Guess what? YOU'LL BE OLD ONE DAY! And it's amazing how even the skinniest folks get fat when they get older.
I responded that the Post's front-page article on the anti-war protest in Washington began thus: "A raucous and colorful multitude of protesters, led by some of the aging activists of the past, staged a series of rallies and a march on the Capitol yesterday to demand that the United States end its war in Iraq."

Now, I have even more evidence that my characterization was fair. From Human Events:
"A man could make a fortune selling Geritol to these people."

Capitalist stooge that I am, that was my first reaction upon reaching the Washington Mall last Saturday to observe tens of thousands of demonstrators rally against the war in Iraq.

Expecting a healthy turnout of idealistic youths, I was surprised to find that the crowd was comprised predominantly of middle-aged '60s throwbacks looking to recapture the glory days of the jarring folk music, campus occupations, and general social chaos that accompanied the Vietnam War. When the Raging Grannies showed up, it was hard to distinguish them from the rest of the crowd.
(Via HotAir)

So, sure, there's aging and hippie, but where's my proof of "fat"? Just my one protester. But I don't need proof, since my commenter has conceded that "even the skinniest folks get fat when they get older."

As I am painfully aware, myself.

Click here to read more . . .

January 27, 2007

Hillary begins a conversation

Hillary video is here. Anti-flatulent thong (seriously) is here.

For more photo comics, check the Photo Comics section of the sidebar.

Click here to read more . . .

January 26, 2007

Maryland to offer huge wet kiss for murderers

Maryland has got many things going for it, but a low violent crime rate is not one of them. In the FBI's Uniform Crime Reports for 2005, the most current year-end statistics, Maryland is fourth in violent crime rate, with 703.0 violent crimes per 100,000 population, trailing only South Carolina, Tennessee, and (narrowly) Florida. Washington, D.C., which wants to be a state but is not, has a rate of 1,459.0.

For murders, it's even worse. From that same chart, the UCR shows Maryland with a murder rate of 9.9 per 100,000 population, which is tied for first in the nation, with Louisiana. And not to be too crude about it, but we may have lost a few murder statistics with the post-Katrina flooding. (Again, D.C. takes the lead with 35.4 per 100,000, but it's not a state.)

Our new Governor, Mr. O'Malley, used to be Mayor of Baltimore, which had a violent crime rate of 1,754.5 in 2005, quite a bit higher than our nation's capital. Baltimore's 2005 murder rate was 42.0, again beating out Washington, D.C. (I computed the rates myself from the table: crimes x 100,000 / population.)

I've given this to you as background. Today's Baltimore Sun reports:

Gov. Martin O'Malley said yesterday that he would sign a repeal of the death penalty if a bill reaches his desk, weighing in on the contentious issue hours after a coalition of legislators and activists renewed their push to strike Maryland's execution law from the books.

"Now that it's salient, and we have to deal with it, I'm certainly not going to try to duck or hide. I would like to see us repeal the death penalty," O'Malley said during an interview in his State House office. "I think the dollars could go to better use and could be invested in things that actually save lives. I don't believe the death penalty saves lives."
A bill is being introduced by two Democratic legislators. The Sun says that O'Malley announced he would lobby for the bill but didn't include it in his own legislative agenda.

The Washington Post notes: "The bill is likely to meet resistance, with some Democrats joining minority Republicans in opposition." One Democrat said he was opposed because (in the Post's words) "he had a gun held to his head three years ago." I guess there's nothing like being mugged by reality.

Capital punishment in Maryland is in legal limbo right now. The Court of Appeals (our highest court) issued a decision in December holding that the Maryland Division of Corrections protocol for executions is equivalent to a regulation, which must be formally promulgated under Maryland's Administrative Procedure Act. (Disclaimer: I'm not admitted to practice in Maryland. But I know how to read a news article if I feel like it.) The linked article explains:
Maryland uses three drugs during executions. Sodium pentothal makes the inmate unconscious, pancurium bromide paralyzes the inmate's breathing and potassium chloride stops the heart.

In its ruling, the Court of Appeals concluded that the current protocol is consistent with state law. However, the court also concluded that a legislative committee charged with reviewing the protocol "may have a different view." The ruling also pointed out that even if the Joint Legislative Committee on Administrative, Executive, and Legislative Review agrees that the protocol is consistent, "it may wish to object to it and direct DOC to consider some other one."
The Court of Appeals rejected other arguments offered by the murder, however, including a racial bias claim and a claim of ineffective assistance of counsel in the earlier sentencing proceeding.

So let's review the bidding. Maryland has the fourth highest violent crime rate in the U.S., and is tied for the highest murder rate. And high on the agenda of the state legislature, supported by Gov. O'Malley, is abolition of the death penalty.

We may be less safe, but at least we'll feel good about ourselves.

Click here to read more . . .


I've been avoiding the switchover to New Blogger, because, as my mammy used to say, If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Or maybe that was someone else's mammy. I don't know.

So I went to sign in today and discovered that Blogger wanted to "migrate" me (is migrate a transitive verb?) to New Blogger. There was no way around it. A search of other blogs revealed that you could skip the migration once (which I had done last night) and then you were SOL.

Fortunately, I just finished a major project at work yesterday, and though I've asked for new assignments, I've got next to nothing to do today.

The migration seemed to go fine at first. Pillage Idiot looked just the same as before, apart from a new font in the navbar at the top. But when I checked out the post editor, there was no toolbar and I could write only in HTML. The lack of toolbar meant no photo upload, either. Hmmmmm.

So I checked out one other theory. I closed IE and opened Blogger in Netscape. The editor suddenly was WYSIWYG. Aha! Must have something to do with the fact that my employer has locked down ActiveX controls on IE.

Normally, I don't post at work. But as I said, there's not much happening today, and I need to check out how this post stuff works in New Blogger.

P.S. What's that pink bar that appears occasionally for a fraction of a section at the bottom of the screen while I type this? Is Blogger saving a backup of the post?

Click here to read more . . .

January 25, 2007

The state of impeachment

Nancy Pelosi says impeachment is "off the table," because she's smart enough to know that impeachment would bog Congress down for the next two years, to little purpose. All it would do is show America how loony the Democrats are. Which is why I've been focusing on it -- in my own little effort to get the Dems to bite.

The nutroots are, understandably, angry that the congressional Democrats are dismissing the idea, and they're looking for ways of pushing the process themselves. The latest idea is to have a state legislature submit a petition to Congress asking for impeachment. It all goes back to Thomas Jefferson, a guy the Left usually dismisses as a dead white male slaveowner. John Nichols explains in the Nation:

The New Mexico impeachment initiative, one of several currently moving forward in state legislatures around the country, is designed to force members of Congress to take seriously the increasingly-popular demand that the president and vice president be held to account for misleading Congress over the Iraq war, supporting torture, engaging in illegal spying on U.S. citizens and using their offices to punish critics. "I am an American citizen that believes that the Constitution is a sacred document and that the Bush administration clearly does not share this sentiment," explains Grubesic, while Ortiz y Pino says, "We're simply doing what all elected officials should be doing. That is, listening to the voice of the people and trying to carry it out as best we can."

The New Mexico legislators have taken their cue from Thomas Jefferson, who in a manual of congressional procedures written more than two centuries ago affirmed that state legislatures could petition the House to impeach federal officials. The third president explained in Section 603 of his Manual on Parliamentary Practice and Rules of the House of Representatives, a volume that is still referred to by House leaders for precedents and guidance, that: "there are various methods of setting an impeachment in motion": 1) By charges made on the floor by a member of the House; 2) By charges preferred by a memorial filed by a House member; 3) By charges contained in a Resolution introduced by a House member; 4) By a message from the President; 5) By charges transmitted by a State legislature, or a grand jury; 5) By facts developed and reported by an investigating committee of the House."
Not that this necessarily is going anywhere, even in New Mexico. The resolution was immediately referred to three committees, which, according to the Santa Fe New Mexican, "generally is thought of as the kiss of death for legislation." The reason: "Not only are there three chances to kill a measure before it gets to a floor vote, it also increases the chance that time will run out in the 60-day session before a measure can make it through both chambers." The New Mexican adds that Republicans in the legislature are all against it, and that it's "not openly supported by either of New Mexico's congressional Democrats."

The text of the resolution may be found here.

I've noticed that the dextrosphere is almost entirely silent on the matter. All I've found is a brief posting at Free Republic and one at The Influence Peddler. Why that should be I don't know. It's at the very least a fascinating look at BDS on a local level.

But the sinestrosphere is going wild with it. Take a look at the Google Blogsearch results. Even Michael Moore, though his post simply copies an AP article about it.

One New Mexican writer says there's uncertainty about what happens if the resolution is passed:
What exactly that means is still under discussion. Does it mean such a resolution has to be introduced in the U.S. House if it's approved by a state Legislature? Does it mean the House has to debate impeachment?

Since he’s the lone Democrat from New Mexico in the U.S. House and might have a role to play in the process, U.S. Rep. Tom Udall’s staff has been looking into the situation in recent days.

"We are looking into it, and Congressman Udall will continue to closely monitor the progress of the resolution in the state Legislature," said Udall press secretary Marissa Padilla.
I have no idea, but I suspect the House wouldn't have to do anything at all, unless it wanted to. Article I, section 2, clause 4, of the Constitution provides: "The House of Representatives * * * shall have the sole power of impeachment."

What it certainly will do, however, is bring to House Democrats the precise problem they've been trying to sweep under the rug. And it will keep the rest of us busy watching their antics.

Click here to read more . . .

January 24, 2007

You can say THAT again!

Jimmy Carter confesses to anti-semitism?

"We are developing an ingrained hatred for people who aren't Christians," said Carter, a Sunday School teacher since he was 18 years old.
So I took it out of context. Sue me.

There's a lot more to comment on in that article, but I'll leave it there. You do it.

(via LGF)

Click here to read more . . .


Some of you may have been alert enough to have noticed a new feature on the sidebar. You can now subscribe to Pillage Idiot by email -- what I call Pillagemail, a once-daily email, currently set to go out shortly after midnight, containing any posts from the immediately preceding day. No posts, no email.

I'm not totally sure why I'm doing this, because if I send you Pillagemail, you won't come and look at Pillage Idiot, and then you won't count on my site statistics. That will leave me exclusively with people searching for nude photos of people you don't want to imagine in that state of undress.

But I'm a guy, and this is technology, so I'm in. Today, Pillage Idiot by email. Tomorrow, I'll beam it directly to that filling in your tooth.

Now, before I leave this subject, let me show you a sample. I subscribed to Pillagemail, just to test this out, and here's the result (click to enlarge):

As you'll notice, you can unsubscribe, too. Check out the privacy policy at FeedBurner, if you're concerned. You should know that FeedBurner gives me a listing of email addresses of subscribers when I log in and navigate to the page where I can set options. If that gives you heartburn, don't subscribe. Be aware, though, that I absolutely couldn't care less about having your email address. Don't want it, won't use it, won't sell it, won't disclose it even if I'm being waterboarded. Well, maybe if I'm being waterboarded. Anyway, you get the idea.

Click here to read more . . .

January 23, 2007

A "hit" story

While all you masochists out there were watching the State of the Union address -- which I have refused to do since 1988 -- I was discovering something equally boring.

You know how almost every blogger has a story about weird searches that lead to his site? I had a couple this evening for Nancy Pelosi cleavage.

A blogger named Ken Levine, who by his own modest description is "an Emmy winning writer/director/producer/major league baseball announcer," and who, by coincidence, is related by either marriage or ex-marriage to the sister of someone we know, has woven together the search terms into a narrative, to see whether he would get even more hits that way. (via Fark)

Kinda dull, and hardly "Emmy winning" material, but it's something all of us can identify with.

Click here to read more . . .

January 22, 2007

President Hillary

I've had some seriously conflicting emotions at the announcement this weekend that Hillary has been pre-elected to be our 44th president.

On the one hand, it will cause untold harm to my beloved country.

On the other hand, it will be pure 24-karat comic gold for at least four years.

At Pillage Idiot, I've done very little with her, because, quite frankly, she's not very interesting as a senator. One short, one-frame photo comic is the only thing that comes to mind, and it's really the photo itself that's funny, and not my voice bubbles.

But long before Pillage Idiot was even a figment of my imagination, at a time when Hillary was a part of the most ethical administration in American history -- at least the most ethical administration ever elected during the 1990s -- there was plenty of material. I'm going to share a little of it here.

Back in 1993, after Vince Foster's body was discovered in Fort Marcy Park, I wrote a song about it.

Homicide (to the tune of "Yesterday" by the Beatles)

They were there the day Vince Foster died.
Dropped him at Fort Marcy Park and lied --
They claimed it was a suicide.

Felonies --
Nussbaum wouldn't let the Park Police
Take a look at Foster's diaries.
He sent them off to Hillary's.

I know there will be a disclosure -- they can't hide.
They will have to admit that it was a homicide.

All the White House staff is petrified,
But the ugly truth can't be denied.
The people know it's homicide.

I know there will be a disclosure -- they can't hide.
They will have to admit that it was a homicide.

All the White House staff is petrified,
But the ugly truth can't be denied.
The people know it's homicide.
Then, in Spring 1996, there were serious rumors going around that Hillary was about to be indicted for her actions in the Whitewater scandal. I came up with a series of questions and answers about the impact this would have on the '96 campaign.
Q There have been many rumors recently that there will soon be indictments in the Washington phase of the Whitewater investigation. Newsweek has even speculated that the indictments could include Hillary Clinton. Tell me, if Hillary is indicted, what will the Clinton reelection slogan be?

A "Buy one, set one free."

Q No, seriously.

A "My husband went to Washington, and all I got was this lousy ankle bracelet."

Q No, I mean it.

A "Gore in '97."

Q What will the close associates of the President be known as?

A Felons of Bill.

Q How will the indictment affect the campaign?

A The President will ask her to change her name back to Rodham.

Q What will Hillary say in an interview when asked why she spent so much time on the Health Care Task Force?

A "I wasn't going to stay at home and make license plates."

Q How might this scenario come about?

A Jim Guy Tucker/Sings for his supper.

Q If Hillary is allowed to make one phone call, how will she respond when asked who she called?

A "I have no present recollection of a phone call."

Q What will the made-for-TV movie about this saga be called?

A "Down the Whitewater and Up the River."

Q If the Washington Post made the movie, what would it be called?

A "An Innocent Explanation."

Q If Hillary has adopted a child, what will happen to the kid?

A The village will raise it.

Q Speaking of which, what will Hillary's book on prison life be called?

A "White House Reunion."
And if a twerp like me was able to do that, think how much fun real comedians will have with her. It's just too bad the country won't survive.

Click here to read more . . .

January 21, 2007

Impeach Governor O'Malley

[UPDATE (2/14): Some participants at a Baltimore Sun news forum seem to think this is a serious post. The snow incident is real, and it annoyed me, but my suggestion that the governor be impeached is meant to be a joke. I thought that was obvious. I also don't mean to suggest that Governor O'Malley is personally monitoring my blog. That's a joke, too. But someone from somewhere in the state government did come here, and the screencap from Sitemeter is real. Yeah, I know: zero seconds. That's a quirk with the free version of Sitemeter. Really, you guys need to stop taking things so seriously.]

Governor Martin O'Malley has held office for four days now, and I think we should start discussing his impeachment. It's never too soon.

We had a minor snowstorm in Maryland today but with outsized consequences, especially for the Attila family. Mrs. Attila and our daughter were scheduled to fly out of town from BWI airport on a college visit. So I got them in the Attilamobile and began driving. The roads were horrendous, especially I-95 from the Capital Beltway heading north. Maryland DOT, which by the way reports to Gov. O'Malley, was nowhere to be seen. No salting, no sanding, no nothing. And needless to say, there were numerous accidents, and traffic was at a crawl. And I mean a crawl -- 5 MPH or worse for extended periods on a road with a posted speed limit of 65 MPH. Although we had left a lot of time to reach the airport, it soon became clear that we didn't have a snowball's chance in Maryland of making it. At about Exit 35 or so, my wife cancelled the flight and the hotel, and we turned back home. Elapsed time: 2-3/4 hours. Distance traveled: About 50 miles.

Is it possible that Gov. O'Malley can't find his way around the governor's mansion? Or maybe he's snowed in to his bedroom?

Meanwhile, his DOT is blaming the victims: "David Buck, a spokesman for the State Highway Administration, said most of the accidents could be blamed on people driving too fast for winter weather." Wrong! If anything, people were driving too slowly, thanks to Gov. O'Malley's DOT.

So I say, Let's impeach the bum. Why wait for O'Malley to do something really bad?

And if this post doesn't get me an angry comment from Stephanie (who's probably the governor's biggest supporter after his wife) and possibly a major Joust-alanche, I'll have to come up with a better idea.

UPDATE (1/22): Well, the good news is that at least it wasn't like this.

UPDATE (1/22): Also, I'd like to welcome a visitor from our state's capital. Hello, Governor!

Click here to read more . . .

January 19, 2007

Mr. Smith goes to Starbucks

(With apologies to WuzzaDem)

'Morning, there. I'd like to have . . .

The gentleman may state his parliamentary inquiry.

Parliamentary inquiry? I just wanted to have . . .

The chair has not heard a proper parliamentary inquiry.

The chair? All I wanted was . . .

The gentleman may raise a point of order.

A point of order? I'd like to order a medium coffee with . . .

The gentleman will suspend! A point of order may not begin with "I'd like to order."

A medium coffee, that's all.

The chair informs the gentleman that there is no "medium" in this chamber.

No medium?

The chair informs the gentleman that this chamber recognizes only tall, grande, or venti.

Tall, grande, and what? Would you -- I mean, would the chair tell me how I can go about learning what's available in this store -- I mean, this chamber?

The gentleman could ask a properly formed parliamentary inquiry, or he could ask the other gentlemen in the chamber, or, of course, he could read the menu on the wall behind the chair.

Well, I have a point of order then.

The gentleman will state the point of order.

Will the chair pour me a grande coffee with . . .

The gentleman will suspend! A point of order may not ask the chair to engage in menial labor.

Now, see here! I came into this store -- this chamber -- to buy a simple cup of coffee and the chair is -- now I'm talking about a chair . . .

The gentleman will suspend! The gentleman knows there is no "simple cup of coffee" in this chamber. The gentleman is making a speech, not raising a . . .

Now hold on. I don't . . .

The gentleman will not interrupt the chair!

The gentleman is going over to Dunkin' Donuts.

Damn Republican bigot.

Barney Frank video here.

Click here to read more . . .