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December 30, 2007

Carnival of Maryland -- 23rd edition

The special Eve of New Year's Eve 23rd edition of the Carnival of Maryland is up at Inside Charm City.

The 24th edition is scheduled for Sunday, January 13, to be hosted at Annapolis Politics.

Send your submissions in for Carnival 24 by using the Blog Carnival form.

Click here to read more . . .

Ron Paul chats with his cocker spaniel, Part 4

"Dr. Paul": I'm getting so tired of having to enlighten these ineducable members of the establishment.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Why can't they see that the assassination of Benazir Bhutto was simply blowback?

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": It never would have happened if we hadn't started a foolish and illegal war in Iraq.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": And propped up Musharraf after September 11.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Which, by the way, was itself blowback after we stationed our military in Saudi Arabia, which people like Osama bin Laden consider holy land.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Not to mention our wholly unbalanced support for the Israeli occupation of Palestinian lands.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": We had no business fighting with Saddam Hussein in the 1990s, anyway.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": After all, we were supporting him against Iran in the 1980s.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Because we didn't understand that the Iranians in the American Embassy were simply upset about our support for the Shah.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": I mean, why did we think that installing a foreign leader who didn't have the support of his people was any of our business?

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": That was the same mistake that led to the illegal war in Vietnam.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": And, to a degree, to the illegal war in Korea.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": We somehow got the idea during World War II that foreign intervention was a useful form of domestic policy.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": But there never would have been a Nazi party at all in Germany, nor would there have been a ground for our intervention in World War II, if we hadn't foolishly meddled in World War I, which really had nothing to do with us at all.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": People revere Teddy Roosevelt for some reason, but he made his name in the Spanish-American War in 1898, an incredibly misguided intervention that still reverberates to our detriment in the Philippines today.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": If Abraham Lincoln hadn't tried to take dictatorial power by starting the Civil War, we could have bought all the slaves and freed them, sparing the 600,000 lives squandered in that war.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": And we would not have had 150 years of race problems ever since.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Blowback.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": And don't even get me started on the War of 1812.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": How mind-bogglingly short-sighted was it for President Madison to ally with the French against the British?

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": We would never have had British troops getting back at us by burning Washington if we had only stayed out of foreign interventions!

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": The way the framers provided in the Constitution.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Like James Madison.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": You know, it's all blowback.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Just what you'd expect.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": And you know what's really funny?

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": About the only prominent person who understands this, besides me, is Noam Chomsky.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Which is sort of ironic.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Given that "Noam" is such a Zionist Likudnik name.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul":

Cocker Spaniel: So you say. But for us retromingent mammals, the only blowback we care about is a really strong tailwind, if you know what I mean -- which I'm sure you do, given those wet spots I've noticed on your pants.

************************

Previous:

Ron Paul chats with his cocker spaniel, Part 3

Ron Paul chats with his cocker spaniel, Part 2

Ron Paul chats with his cocker spaniel

Ron Paul goes to the post office


Related:

Video at Hot Air

Click here to read more . . .

December 29, 2007

Switching my RSS feed again

UPDATE at bottom.....

If your feed reader has suddenly shown up with about 25 posts, many of which you've already read, here's why:

I've gone back to my Yahoo Pipes RSS feed mash and ditched the standard RSS feed set up by Blogger.

The standard feed has a truly annoying quirk -- if you update a post, it treats that post as having been newly written when updated. So if I took a post from last month and added a new label to it, you would see it in your reader as if it were a new post. Idiotic.

The Yahoo Pipes feed mash solves that problem by treating the date of the post as the original published date, no matter how many times you update it. I realize that, as Soccer Dad has pointed out, with at least some readers, the Yahoo Pipes feed doesn't allow you to get directly to my home page, but I hope my readers will be willing to get there with two clicks. I beg your indulgence.

UPDATE (12/30): Yahoo Pipes seems to need some Drano(TM), so in the meantime, I'm back to the standard RSS feed. My apologies for messing with your feed readers.

Click here to read more . . .

Spinning crime figures in Prince George's

If I lived in Prince George's County, I'd be livid about this.

This report in The Examiner says that the number of murders in the county increased by 4.5% from last year from 134 in 2006 to 140 in 2007 (through yesterday).

And this is how the county police have reacted:

Police downplayed the increase.

"Our numbers are still down compared to the District and Baltimore, though," said Officer Henry Tippett, a spokesman for the Prince George's Police Department. "We haven't seen a significant increase."
We're supposed to believe that the numbers are "down" because they're not as far up as those in Baltimore and Washington. That's totally nuts. The numbers aren't down at all; they're up. Sure, things are worse in Washington, and much, much worse in Baltimore, but apparently you folks who live in Prince George's -- you taxpayers who fund the county police -- shouldn't worry because your murder total is up only 4.5%.

Great. And I thought things were bad in Montgomery County.

Click here to read more . . .

December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas

To my Christian friends and readers, Merry Christmas.

The Pillage family sends its greetings from New York City, where we're spending a few days after having visited the cemetery following my father's second yahrzeit, which was on 4 Tevet (Dec. 12-13 this year).


Somehow it seems that saying "Merry Christmas" in blue New York is a political statement, but people still seem to be pleased when I greet them that way. Also, as I mentioned in my original post on the subject, Jews should respect other people's holidays.

And then, go and eat Chinese food.

Click here to read more . . .

December 21, 2007

Rudy Giuliani tunes up his campaign















(Disclaimer: I might actually vote for the guy.)

For links to other photo comics, click here and check the sidebar.

Or start with these:

Bill Clinton evaluates HillaryCare II

Bill Clinton supports Hillary's cleavage

Bill Clinton grabs some contributions for Hillary

Hillary responds to Kate Michelman

Hillary begins a conversation

When Harry dissed Nancy

Click here to read more . . .

December 20, 2007

Let them eat quarters!

Well, after a protracted battle over what's truly important, the District of Columbia is going to have its own quarter (as will all the territories of the United States). The design is still the subject of much contention, but last year, I offered my own design:



Click here to read more . . .

December 19, 2007

The newest global warming villains

According to Professor Sir David King, the U.K.'s Chief Scientific Adviser, governments can't solve climate change themselves. The problem, he said, is to be found elsewhere: women who are attracted to sports-car drivers. "And he singled out women who find supercar drivers 'sexy', adding that they should divert their affections to men who live more environmentally-friendly lives."

See The Jawa Report (not so very SFW)

Via Ace

Click here to read more . . .

December 18, 2007

Dissin' Papa Haydn

One of Pillage Idiot's major contributions to the arts is my think piece "This art really sucks (eggs)!" In it I discuss a puzzling phenomenon: that one can say that certain works by the masters really suck (in music or literature, say) but for some reason one doesn't say that paintings by the great visual artists suck.

I thought about this puzzle again tonight. I was driving home from the Metro with the radio on, and they were playing Haydn's Symphony no. 94 ("Surprise"). The nickname "Surprise" apparently stems from an incident in which Haydn's wife unexpectedly returned home one afternoon while Haydn was in the middle of banging some fortissimo chords in the dominant.

You may be familiar with at least the theme of the slow movement of the symphony, which is so well known that even your kid sister, who thinks the Beach Boys are classical music, would recognize it. It goes like this: Ba ba ba ba ba ba baaa, ba ba ba ba ba ba baaa, ba ba ba ba ba ba baaa, ba ba ba ba baaa baaa.

So, anyway, I was listening to this symphony and thinking the same thing I think whenever I hear Haydn, namely, that he's an excellent technician -- he knows how to put chords and phrases together well -- but that his music simply isn't very interesting. I made this observation to Mrs. Attila, who's a Mozart partisan, and she enthusiastically agreed with me. She thinks that his themes hold together, but that they're not "transcendent," like Mozart's. I'm a Beethoven partisan, myself, and while the Great Man studied with Haydn, he was doing cartwheels around his teacher from the very beginning.

To get back to my point about Haydn: There's a variation in the slow movement of the Surprise Symphony in which Haydn makes an interesting and unexpected chord progression, but he doesn't go anywhere with it, and three or four measures later, he's back hammering home the tonic again. (For the benefit of my less sophisticated readers, the "tonic" is the principal chord in a particular key, the so-called "one" chord. It has little, if anything, to do with alcoholic beverages.)

I'm not trying to say that Haydn's music sucks eggs, although some of it comes pretty close. And besides, he wrote so much of it that one can't possibly make generalizations.

What I'd like to ask from my classically inclined readers is this: Are there any really great works of Haydn that distinctly do not suck eggs? I'm willing to listen. Just don't tell me the Surprise Symphony.

Click here to read more . . .

Summit meeting

Tony and Uncle Junior negotiate Machiavelli with Wolfowitz and Bill Kristol

"Straussian Summit Meeting of Sopranos"

Headline, New York Times, Dec. 18, 2007

Click here to read more . . .

December 17, 2007

Tourism of environmental destruction

If you are a rich liberal -- if you are a right-thinking sort with huge amounts of disposable income -- in short, if you are the classic New York Times demographic, you will naturally have to go to the right places on vacation.

But where? The Hamptons and Martha's Vineyard are fine, but they'll be there next year.


How about those locales that global warming is going to destroy? How about the threatened rain-forests? Now we're talking!

DENNIS and STACIE WOODS, a married couple from Seattle, choose their vacation destinations based on what they fear is fated to destruction.

This month it was a camping and kayaking trip around the Galápagos Islands. Last year, it was a stay at a remote lodge in the Amazon, and before that, an ascent of Mount Kilimanjaro.

“We wanted to see the islands this year,” Mr. Woods, a lawyer, said last week in a hotel lobby here, “because we figured they’re only going to get worse.”

The visit to the Amazon was “to try to see it in its natural state before it was turned into a cattle ranch or logged or burned to the ground,” Mr. Woods said. Kilimanjaro was about seeing the sunrise on the highest peak in Africa before the ice cap melts, as some forecasters say it will within the next dozen years.

Next on their list: the Arctic before the ice is gone.
It's called "Eco-tourism," or, by the more cynical, the "Tourism of Doom."

And you will not be surprised to learn that those who want to explore sites threatened by global warming will be arriving in their less-than-carbon-friendly jets.
Almost all these trips are marketed as environmentally aware and eco-sensitive — they are, after all, a grand tour of the devastating effects of global warming. But the travel industry, some environmentalists say, is preying on the frenzy. This kind of travel, they argue, is hardly green. It’s greedy, requiring airplanes and boats as well as new hotels.

However well intentioned, these trip takers may hasten the destruction of the very places they are trying to see. But the environmental debate is hardly settled. What is clear is that appealing to the human ego remains a terrific sales tool for almost any product.
Nor should you expect that these super-rich liberal travelers will be roughing it at their destinations. As the article notes about travel to the Amazon: "At hundreds of dollars or more a night, people do want hot water and other comforts."

As Jonah Goldberg wrote about the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge several years ago, we have a romanticized view of what the wilderness is like. To paraphrase him, it's basically wilderness.

The same holds true for the eco-travelers mentioned in the Times article. One traveler, who spent $22,000 to go the North Pole on an icebreaker, expressed some surprise there still is ice there, after all we've heard about global warming. He agreed that our view of such regions is romanticized, and quipped: "And then there's the reality. It's cold. It's stark. Santa Claus wasn't waiting to greet us."

But for the eco-tourism businesses who get this demographic to pay those kinds of fees for the trips, Santa Claus is visiting every day.

Click here to read more . . .

December 16, 2007

The dangers of externomingent acts, again

Another reason not to do your business outside.

As with our last report on externomingency, some guy was urinating through a hole in a fence in Cambodia when "a happy little puppy on the other side bit onto his penis." (via HotAir) The article does not explain how we know the puppy was happy.

But we know the guy was not happy, and we'll let the Metro.co.UK article take it from here:

Mr Veasna's puppy/penis misfortune came to light when he turned up at hospital in the Cambodian capital, and regaled them with his tale of mirth and woe.

He was suffering from lacerations to his penis. However, doctors were able to save his organ, and are hopeful that the puppy did him no permanent damage.
The article quotes a doctor as saying, "It's undoubtedly sore now, but luckily it should still be useful to him in the future." And if not, he can keep it in a display case or sell it on eBay.

I'd definitely recommend you click the link for two reasons. First, the accompanying photo of a cute little white pooch has this caption: "A delightful little doggy: probably wants to savage your penis." Second, there are links to two other somewhat related articles: Man in unfortunate saw-mill penis incident and Cambodians warned over DIY penis enlargement.

Because you can never have too many stories of male member mutilation.

Click here to read more . . .

The Inquiring Photographer: What form of torture?

The Inquiring Photographer asks:

If you're elected president in 2008, which one form of torture would you use on our nation's enemies?


That's an outrageous question. I was tortured by the North Vietnamese, and I understand as well as anyone else how the use of torture demeans us as a nation. But if I had to choose, I guess I'd go with the rack. It was pretty effective during the Inquisition.

John McCain, Arizona




Our nation's enemies, the Republicans? I'd just put 'em in adjoining toilet stalls and lower the walls to the floor so they couldn't wave underneath them. That'd drive them nuts.

Joe Biden, Delaware





A jury trial!

John Edwards, North Carolina










Hell fire and damnation!

Mike Huckabee, Arkansas










The premise of the question is wrong. We have no enemies as a nation. We just have disagreements that can be resolved diplomatically if we work together to bridge our differences.

Barack Obama, Illinois






What do you mean one form of torture? Only one? I mean, you can get married more than one time.

Rudy Giuliani, New York








My bare hands.

Fred Thompson, Tennessee









Caffeine?

Mitt Romney, Massachusetts











The Constitution says nothing about authorizing torture. We wouldn't feel we need it if we just examined the reasons people are attacking us. If you go back to our ill advised involvement in World War I, the Germans [48 minutes redacted] and the Federal Reserve Board.

Ron Paul, Texas



Haaaaaaaahahahaha!! The nutcracker!

Hillary Clinton, New York










Previous: The Inquiring Photographer: Where will you invade?, The Inquiring Photographer: How did you propose?

Click here to read more . . .

Carnival of Maryland -- 22nd edition

The 22nd edition of the Carnival of Maryland is up at Mike's Nether Land.

The 23rd edition is scheduled for Sunday, Dec. 30, at Inside Charm City.

Send your submissions in for Carnival 23 by using the Blog Carnival form.

Click here to read more . . .

December 12, 2007

Wednesday mini-linkfest

1. Headline of the day: "Police say woman pinned boyfriend to wall with buttocks" (via BOTWT)

2. Everything you always wanted to know about "natural" breast enhancement but were afraid to open those spam emails to read about. This is a real article from a real site (featured at MSN). The article is actually written by some chick named Martica Heaner, who claims to have some degrees at something or other. To give her some cred, I'll tell you she is quite a bit less than 100% behind the various techniques. And there are more of them, by the way, than I had ever realized. Exit question: Why did the husband write to Ms. Heaner, instead of the wife, if it's the wife who allegedly wanted enhanced breasts?

3. If you play baseball, you might actually be interested in a cup that will "protect your boys" which, in case you're wondering, does not mean your sons. But even if you don't play baseball, you might just be interested in watching some dude who used to be a pitcher in the majors take a fastball in the nuts (to demonstrate the toughness of the cup he sells). I got the video at HotAir, where I'm sending you to see it. Also, after you watch the video, don't forget to click through to the Nutty Buddy website (which speaks of protecting the boys) and to the Fox News video at the "Update" link.

Click here to read more . . .

December 11, 2007

If Barack Obama were Jewish, instead of the Second Coming of Jesus

Obama (shouting into his cell phone): But Ma . . . Ma . . . Ma . . . but Ma . . . no, Ma . . . Ma . . . Ma, I . . . I said . . . Ma . . . Ma . . . listen to me, Ma . . . Ma . . . wait, Ma . . . you're not . . . Ma . . . you're not lis . . . no, Ma . . . wait, Ma . . . I . . . no . . . I said . . . Maaaa . . .

Click here to read more . . .

December 10, 2007

Turning it on and off

Q. How do make gay fruit flies stop "mincing about town in spotless waistcoats like Oscar Wilde"?

A. You take away their soy.

Or else you manipulate their . . . uh . . . their genes.

(See Jack M. writing at Ace's.)

Click here to read more . . .

December 09, 2007

Stockhausen's death was a great work of art

Call me a boor, but in my entire life, I've listened to exactly one composition of Karlheinz Stockhausen, the avant-garde composer who died the other day. It was about 35 years ago, and I have no recollection which composition it was, as if it makes any difference.

Stockhausen made some waves in the days following 9/11:

Not all of his "theories" deserved respect. Immediately after Sept. 11, 2001, Stockhausen outraged much of the world when he called the attacks "the greatest work of art imaginable for the whole cosmos." "Minds achieving something in an act that we couldn't even dream of in music, people rehearsing like mad for 10 years, preparing fanatically for a concert, and then dying, just imagine what happened there," he elaborated. "You have people who are that focused on a performance and then 5,000 [sic] people are dispatched to the afterlife, in a single moment."
Of course, he said it in German, not in English, but you can read the original here.

I don't exactly care whether it was taken out of context, as Stockhausen claimed. I'm not sure how you could say such a thing, out of context or not.

What's fitting, now, is that Stockhausen has finally performed a limited test of his theory of art. And he's proved that his death is a great work of art, greater by far than the rest of his opus.

Click here to read more . . .

Looking around for a bargain, perhaps?

The Baltimore Sun headline says it: "Wife shopped around for killer, court papers say." (via Fark)

This took place in Kevin Dayhoff's neck of the woods -- Westminster, Maryland.

For weeks, Kevin Gates lived with the fear that his wife was trying to have him killed.

But he feigned ignorance.

"I did my very best to make her think I had no clue, because I wanted to catch her in this," said Gates, 43, of Westminster. "Any fear that I would have had was just [overridden] by anger."

The pretense ended Tuesday, when state police arrested Mary L. Gates, 46, saying she offered to pay an undercover trooper $6,000 to kill her husband.

She had provided a photograph of Kevin Gates, as well as a handwritten note with the UPS deliveryman's schedule and route to work, according to court documents.
The odd thing is that he was still living with the woman, but at least he had a good sense of the person.
Although he hadn't anticipated she would go so far, Kevin Gates said, he wasn't "extremely surprised" by his wife's alleged plotting.

"She's greedy, she's very self-centered, and when she doesn't get her way, she becomes very vindictive," he said. "She's like a little spoiled child."
Here's my marriage tip of the day: If it wouldn't surprise you that your wife was considering hiring a hit man to bump you off, you may be married to Ruthann Aron.

Only kidding. But you have to admit that the guy's got a really large issue in his marriage that counseling probably wouldn't help.

Now, I hope you'll click through to the article, because it begins with a large photo of a large and very scary woman.

And the L. in her name stands for Lucretia, which is perhaps a very apt middle name.

Click here to read more . . .

OK, now it's OUR turn to throw up

Mrs. Attila and I were laughing but also feeling a little ill when she read me this article in the Thursday New York Times called "A Bundle of Joy Isn’t Enough?"

In a more innocent age, new mothers generally considered their babies to be the greatest gift imaginable. Today, they are likely to want some sort of tangible bonus as well.

This bonus goes by various names. Some call it the “baby mama gift.” Others refer to it as the “baby bauble.” But it’s most popularly known as the “push present.”

That’s “push” as in, “I the mother, having been through the wringer and pushed out this blessed event, hereby claim my reward.” Or “push” as in, “I’ve delivered something special and now I’m pushing you, my husband/boyfriend, to follow suit.”
What kind of gift? Well, anything peculiarly expensive, for starters. The guy in the photo gave his wife a sculpture. The guy at the beginning of the article gave his wife a pair of diamond earrings. Which is probably more of a hit with the woman than a sculpture. In fact, the jewelry industry has leapt into this on all fours: "In 2005 the Southeast-based jewelry chain Mayors marketed diamond earrings with the tag line, 'She delivered your first born; now give her twins.'"

Are you throwing up yet?

Well, at least there's one sensible person:
“This isn’t the time to give a $200 piece of jewelry,” said Rhonda Grote, president of ThinkThoughtful.com, an online gift consulting company in Bradenton, Fla. “I do not think that because a woman has had a baby she requires a Tiffany & Company item. She requires help, love and emotional support.”

Ms. Grote suggested that new fathers should instead consider performing domestic chores, hiring a cleaning service, or otherwise provide extra assistance for the new mother.
Either the husband is attuned to his wife's needs when she's pregnant, or he's not. If he isn't, an expensive present is insulting, because he's just buying her off to leave him alone.

As Ms. Grote says, the husband has to step in take the burden off his wife during her pregnancy and for some time afterwards. He's also got to show appreciation. But this is truly gross: "Michael Toback, a jewelry supplier in Manhattan’s diamond district, traces the practice to a new posture of assertiveness by women. 'You know, "Honey, you wanted this child as much as I did. So I want this,"' he said."

Click here to read more . . .

New hobby for Thai women

A lot of my readers have been complaining that I haven't been keeping them up to date on the latest news in mutilated male members.

Let me just say, "I hear you."

From Thailand, there's an AFP video report (via Ace) that I find very troubling. A British Thai(?)-accented woman, reporting from Thailand, says this: "Penis slashing by Thai women is so common that Thai surgeons have become world-renowned specialists when it comes to penis reattachments."

You really should check out the video, which, I'm sorry to report, doesn't always load. [Try using Firefox.] A Thai surgeon is interviewed, and although his English is hard to understand, Breitbart.tv quotes him thus: "Sometimes they chop into pieces. In those cases we cannot put it back."

You'll be relieved to know, however, that the surgeon says there'll still hope: "But we build a new one for the patient." He says that the best chance of success is when the detachment occurred within 6 hours. The member is complete, "but we cannot guarantee function."

The female reporter maintains, throughout, her neutral reporter's voice, but you can just tell she's enjoying it: "In this male dominated society, women have few options to assert their rights." She interviews a psychiatrist psychotherapist who says that jilted lovers might kill, "but to kill is not enough for Thai women."

[Also: I forgot to mention that at the end of the video is a scene of a market, in which a woman hesitantly reaches for a bunch of bananas. As George Carlin would say, You don't have to be Fellini to figure that out.]

Not totally related, but close enough: Rebecca Gomez, on Fox Business, interviews a plastic surgeon, Gary Alter, who apparently has a TV show called Dr. 90210. (Alter, by the way, is a classic name for a plastic surgeon.) She asks him what the craziest procedure he's had on his show is. The transcript, courtesy of Portfolio.com's Mixed Media (via HotAir):

REBECCA GOMEZ: What is the craziest procedure that you've had on your show so far?

DR. GARY ALTER: Well, on the show, probably it's a man who had a buried -- or hidden -- penis.

GOMEZ: Where was it hiding?

ALTER: Well, it was hiding in his pubic fat...

GOMEZ: Come on!

ALTER: And in his scrotal sack. And he was 49 years old -- never had intercourse.

GOMEZ: No way!
Dr. Alter, of course, was the only guy who knew how to handle this. (Although he doesn't say how the man was able to urinate, which strikes me as a major life activity.)

Gomez and Alter go on to discuss labiaplasty, and Gomez says that if you want to get plastic surgery, you have to "do your homework." She adds: "I mean, it's like stock picking. You gotta do your homework."

Click here to read more . . .

December 05, 2007

Smoke 'n sniff

Compare and contrast.

1. From the AP: "'Toad smoking,' which is a substitute for 'toad licking,' is done by extracting venom from the Sonoran Desert toad of the Colorado River. The toad's venom — which is secreted when the toad gets angry or scared — contains a hallucinogen called bufotenine that can be dried and smoked to produce a buzz."

2. Same article: "While smoking toad venom might sound extreme, an even more disturbing method to get high possibly includes sniffing fermented human waste. Vicky Ward, manager of prevention services at Tri-County Mental Health Services in Kansas City, said she has read e-mail warnings about a drug called jenkem. The drug is made from fermented feces and urine."

Click here to read more . . .

Environmentalists take to their jets

This joke is getting pretty repetitive, except it's not a joke.

According to an article in the Associated Press, those attending the global warming conference in Bali have some 'splainin' to do:

BALI, Indonesia -- Never before have so many people converged to try to save the planet from global warming, with more than 10,000 jetting into this Indonesian resort island, from government ministers to Nobel laureates to drought-stricken farmers.

But critics say they are contributing to the very problem they aim to solve.

"Nobody denies this is an important event, but huge numbers of people are going, and their emissions are probably going to be greater than a small African country," said Chris Goodall, author of the book "How to Live a Low-Carbon Life."

* * * * *

The U.N. estimates 47,000 tons of carbon dioxide and other pollutants will be pumped into the atmosphere during the 12-day conference in Bali, mostly from plane flights but also from waste and electricity used by hotel air conditioners.

If correct, Goodall said, that is equivalent to what a Western city of 1.5 million people, such as Marseilles, France, would emit in a day.

But he believes the real figure will be twice that, more like 100,000 tons, close to what the African country of Chad churns out in a year.
(via Texas Rainmaker, by way of HotAir)

Naturally, the hosts are trying to smooth over this nonsense -- by planting a bunch of trees. But even the AP can't resist mockery: "Yet SUVs, taxis and other cars sit in long lines at the gates to the site, spewing out exhaust as they wait to get through security checkpoints."

And when environmental stupidity is happening, you just know this guy can't be far away.

UPDATE (12/9): The Greenest Hypocrites of 2007 (via HotAir)

Click here to read more . . .

Ron Paul chats with his cocker spaniel, Part 3

"Dr. Paul": Did you see me on Oprah on Monday?

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": No, sorry, I don't mean Oprah.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": What's that other lady named?

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": The one who runs that show, The View, with the three other ladies?

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Whoopi, what is it, Goldberg? Is that it?

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Yeah, I think that's it.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Pretty funny, isn't it?

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": I mean, a black lady named Goldberg.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Which, I think, is really a Jewish name.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Like those two spies, Julius and Ethel, who were executed in the early 1950s.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": And Whoopi's a pretty amusing name in itself.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": One of those cushions that when you sit on them they make an embarrassing sound.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": And everyone thinks you just sliced the cheese.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Anyway, being surrounded by adoring women is nothing new for me.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": After all, I am an OB-GYN.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": But you could tell they really liked me.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Even though they're liberals.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Because even though we don't agree on abortion, we really have a lot in common.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Like opposing the war.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": And what we think of this President.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Who, by the way, never seems to have enough sovereign nations to invade.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": So he's busy prosecuting a supporter of mine who produces the "Liberty Dollar."

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": You know, the coin that has my picture on it?

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": That's exactly the kind of tyrranical behavior you'd expect from this President.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Retaliating against a decent, upstanding citizen.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Just because he thinks the Federal Reserve Board is unconstitutional.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Which it is, by the way.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": I've known that since I was in third grade.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": During World War II.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Which was the last time Congress made an explicit declaration of war.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": So that war was actually legal under the Constitution.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Although in 1943 I still wanted the President to bring the troops home immediately.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": I mean, what business did we have meddling in a dispute between the Germans and the British?

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": People were saying, anyway, that it was the big European money men who were behind it.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Not that I necessarily agreed with that, but it raised questions that should have been looked into.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": And we really should have examined what we had done that made the Germans hate us.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": You know, I really wish I had raised this with Whoopi.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Because I'll bet she would've agreed with me.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul": Given her obvious interest in Austrian economics.

Cocker Spaniel:

"Dr. Paul":

Cocker Spaniel: Yeah, whatever. In my experience, no left-wing chick is ever going to be into you if you can't stop Hayek-ing her chainik. If you'll pardon my neocon language.

************************

Previous:

Ron Paul chats with his cocker spaniel, Part 2

Ron Paul chats with his cocker spaniel

Ron Paul goes to the post office


Related:

Excerpts of Ron Paul on The View

Liberty Dollars


Slightly Related:

Other candidates in third grade

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December 04, 2007

Teddy's memoir

There really isn't anything one can express over the huge advance Sen. Kennedy is receiving for his memoir other than disgust.

So let's turn to Fark for a photoshop contest.

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December 03, 2007

Hillary's third-grade essay discovered



News story here.

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December 02, 2007

Sunday linkfest

Tonight's linkfest is divided into categories.

1. Bush Derangement Syndrome.

BDS at the New York Public Library: an exhibit of fake mug shots of Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, et al. (via HotAir)

And BDS in Gene Weingarten's column in the Post, which actually is mildly amusing, for a change.

2. The Muhammed Teddy Bear in the Sudan.

When a British school teacher is put on trial in the Sudan for letting her 7-year-old student name a teddy bear "Muhammed," after himself, and Sudanese Islamist radicals are calling for her death, Amnesty International is nowhere to be seen.

In response, the inventors of "Islamic Rage Boy" come up with some new toys and games. (via Ace)

3. Inventions and patents.

Speaking of inventions, I discovered the InventorSpot blog through a link at HotAir. The link was to a post discussing a patent for a support for men's foreheads over a urinal. If you think I'm kidding, you'd better click that link right now. Personally, I see the need for such a device in airplanes and trains -- especially the latter, which make the business hardly smooth sailing (to mix metaphors). I wonder how much good it would do, however, in a bar.

Also at IS are two other useful inventions. One combines the scent of lavender, pumpkin pie, doughnuts and licorice to perform the function formerly performed by certain well known male potency drugs. (On the other hand, maybe pomegranate juice would be enough.)

The other is a tape-on pad to absorb unpleasant emissions from the southbound end of a northbound human. This one is interesting to me, not simply because I have an odd attraction to flatulence humor but because it relates to the punchline to my first Hillary photo comic -- "Hillary begins a conversation."

Click here to read more . . .

Carnival of Maryland -- 21st edition

It seems like just yesterday that I last hosted the Carnival of Maryland, but it actually was back in September (the 15th edition). Hello, again, and welcome.

This edition is just chock full of good stuff contributed mostly by members of the Maryland Blogger Alliance.

Although Maryland is a very blue state, and we have some liberal members in the Alliance, still a lot of our political writing tends to the right. There's a good deal of it this week, so I'm going to tackle the other subject matters first, to make sure they don't get lost in the blizzard of political writing.

So, without further introduction, let us proceed to the good stuff. We'll start with Miscellany for $200, Alex.

Miscellany

Chester Peake at the Maryland Chesapeake Blog defends the folks who hit the stores early on "Black Friday," the day after Thanksgiving. He sees it as sort of an "event" and manages to have a good time. Me, I'd rather click away at deals on my computer, but then again, I'm a socially defective person.

Meanwhile, mad anthony, on the same subject, blasts an editorialist who attacks people who take advantage of "Black Friday" to get bargains.

Joyce Dowling of Creating a Jubilee County offers some important tips to help you avoiding falling victim to scams and theft, and if that were not enough, provides some links to charities that you can donate to. Joyce thinks the "Happy Thanksgiving" is a little late, but it's never too late to be thankful.

PG Chic says the time has come to have more high-end retail in Prince George's County -- "we want, need, and deserve more!"

Jen says: "Show Your Support to Our Troops Through Text Messaging" at That's What I Think.

Sports

At Oriole Post, Maryland Orioles' Fan writes about football, specifically about the murder of Redskins' player Sean Taylor, and is highly critical of Post columnist Michael Wilbon for dismissing Taylor as one who "up in a violent world, embraced it, claimed it, loved to run in it and refused to divorce himself from it." MOF gives a personal account of his own brother's problems and decision to get his life in order.

Local Events

Kevin Dayhoff, former mayor of Westminster, writes at Soundtrack Division of Old Silent Movies about the "Shop with a Cop" event at the Westminster Walmart, which helps needy families enjoy Christmas. Kevin even has a video posted.

Nature

The Ridger entices us at The Greenbelt with a series of beautiful photos that show that fall is really here. ("About time, too," she says.) The contrast between the first two photos is amazing.

Local Politics

The Patriot Sharpshooter discusses the need for term limits in his blog Common Sense. I've put this entry in local politics, but it applies to all offices at all levels, I would think. The Supreme Court, unfortunately, has put the kibosh on congressional term limits, even though the Arkansas law it was considering was really a ballot-access measure, not strictly a term limit.

Paul Foer, who runs Annapolis Capital Punishment, describes a meeting about local transportation options at which he spoke from the audience.

State Politics

Dave Wissing at The Hedgehog Report examines one cute little legislative change our friends in the General Assembly were trying to pass in the special session: a bill that would have designated unused gift certificates as abandoned property that would escheat to the state. As Dave says: "So in other words, if you don’t use your gift cards as fast as the State of Maryland would like you to, then as far as the State of Maryland is concerned, you should be forced to give an unsolicited donation of that that money to the State of Maryland."

Mark Newgent, a/k/a The Main Adversary, looks at Gov. O'Malley's Maryland Commission on Climate Change and the web of related organizations behind the Center for Climate Strategies, which the Commission has brought in for policy guidance and management help.

Bruce Godfrey, at Legal Contact, a part of the Crablaw empire, has some comments on the sentencing of former State Senator Thomas L. Bromwell following a guilty plea on corruption charges.

Brian Gill, at Annapolis Politics, regales us with his account of the presentations of Delegates Steve Schuh and James King at the Wednesday Morning Republican Breakfast Club, defending their actions in the special session.

National Politics

Cheryl at The Spewker, one of our Democratic members, writes at length about why she can't support Hillary for President. You really have to click through to the site where she originally posted her piece just to see how hostile the comments were. (Cheryl, I kind of like being called "Idiot" myself, but I guess I can understand why that would bother you.)

Soccer Dad writes about stem cells, and particularly about Charles Krauthammer's column on the announcement that stem cells can be created from ordinary adult skin cells. He notes that a politically charged issue has now become a success for the President.

David at abolitionofman.com writes about the 60th anniversary of the partition of Palestine and connects the history preceding and following the partition with the current peace efforts, which were going on this week in Annapolis.

Maryland Conservatarian notes that the renegade Republican congressman from Maryland, Wayne Gilchrest, is becoming a national story, with the Club for Growth now taking him on.

At Brian Griffiths, the eponymous author writes about the Second Amendment ("Misfiring on All Cylinders"), and takes on Professor Kenneth Lasson, who considered the topic in the Baltimore Sun.

Rachel, of Tinkerty Tonk fame, discusses the federal employee health benefit plan, which the major Democratic candidates for President all seem to love. She says it's been called the "Rolls Royce" of health plans, but she cites a source that says it's more like a well appointed family sedan. Go Chevrolet!

Mike, at Mike's Nether Land, wonders if people have lost sight of how to deal with the spouse of a possible woman president. Why not just "First Gentleman," to correspond to "First Lady"?

David K. Kyle, who writes at The Candid Truth, wonders where Congress gets the power to dictate what food is served at local public schools. Not to mention why Congress thinks this is an important enough subject matter for it to consider.

Matt Johnston, at Going to the Mat, says that, while he's not a fan of Barack Obama, he respects what Obama says about bare-knuckled politics.

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The 22nd edition of the Carnival of Maryland, on Sunday, December 16, is being hosted at Mike's Nether Land. Please submit your articles through the Blog Carnival form here.

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