The "inside baseball" on the candidates' VP picks

We know almost nothing about the presidential candidates' vice presidential picks, with the possible exception of the fact that Obama says he's going to announce his pick by text messaging.

So I've come up with the top three "inside baseball" choices for each of the candidates.

John McCain:

1. Home Run: Henry Aaron.

Pros:

* Greatest non-steroidal home run hitter ever

* Tremendous dignity

* Neutralizes race issue

Cons:

* Alabama already solid for McCain

* Republican affiliation doubtful (but see Lieberman, Joe)


2. Triple: Joe Torre

Pros:

* Highly popular in large blue states (New York, California)

* Four World Championship titles as manager

* Calm in a storm (see Steinbrenner, George and Hank)

Cons:

* Almost as old as McCain

* Five-o'clock shadow shames Richard Nixon


3. Texas-League Double: Gary Carter

Pros:

* Solid throwing arm

* Could be popular with evangelicals

* If asked, he'd be there tomorrow (see Randolph, Willie)

Cons:

* Too exciteable (see Quayle, Dan)


Barack Obama:

1. Home Run: Steve Carlton

Pros:

* One of greatest southpaws ever

* Mean slider

* Nickname "Lefty" will wow Kos Kids

Cons:

* Won't talk to press


2. Triple: Manny Ramirez

Pros:

* Hits everywhere with power

* Appeals to Hispanics

* Will be available early if Dodgers don't make post-season

Cons:

* Not natural-born citizen

* Manny is Manny


3. Texas-League Double: Phil Rizzuto

Pros:

* Decades of experience

* Popular among the "cling to guns and religion" crowd

Cons:

* Repetitive catch-phrases ("Holy cow!")

* Deceased


Bob Barr:

Foul ball off his foot: Mark "The Bird" Fidrych

Pros:

* Good mesh with Barr (totally nuts)

Cons:

* Totally nuts