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March 26, 2008

Bill Clinton gives an interview

Good morning, Mr. President. My name is Maddie. I work for the student newspaper at Lakeside Elementary School.












Wait a minute. This was supposed to be an interview with college journalism students.












Mr. President . . .














No, I said, you wait a minute. How old are you, anyway? Five?













Six. I was six on January . . .














I don't give a damn when you were six. What the hell am I doing talking to a kid who probably still wets her bed at night? Hmmm? Oh, never mind. What's your question?










My question is what's it like going around trying to help Hillary be President?













I think maybe what you meant to ask me is this: When you've been President yourself, what's it like campaigning for someone who has a deaf ear for politics just so you can avoid being humiliated when she loses?









....














Ask me. Ask me that question.














OK, when you've already been in charge of . . .














No, no! Ask me the exact question. "When you've been President yourself, what's it like campaigning for someone who has a deaf ear for politics just so you can avoid being humiliated when she loses?"









OK, uh, when you've been President yourself, uh, what's it like campaigning, uh, for someone who, uh, has a deaf ear for politics just so you, uh, can avoid being, uh, humiliated when she, uh, loses?










That's a totally outrageous question! I am so sick of people who focus on the negative all the time. Do you understand how hard Hillary has worked for 35 years to better the lives of all Americans, regardless of race, ethnicity, or income? The media just won't let up with all their negative stories about her.






But . . .














I'm asking you, Do you understand that?












But I was just asking . . .














Don't tell me what you were asking. I heard your loaded question. And I'm not going to play into the media's little games of trolling around for answers they can try to turn into a scandal.








....














Because they do that, you realize.














I have one more question.














Holy . . . Oh, all right. What is it?














I was just wondering whether Hillary's credibility was hurt by her handling of the Monica scandal.













That's IT!! I am so OUTTA here! Hillary, if you're listening, I don't need this s--- any more. No more trudging around to every dips--- school to answer some lame-ass questions to help your stinking, incompetent campaign. "We were under sniper fire." "I have a lot of experience from working in the White House." What the f--- is WRONG with you? That's IT! You're toast! I'm gonna support that black dude.





For previous Clinton photo comics:

Hillary engages in some racial healing

Bill Clinton evaluates HillaryCare II

Bill Clinton supports Hillary's cleavage

Bill Clinton grabs some contributions for Hillary

Hillary responds to Kate Michelman

Hillary begins a conversation