Dreaming

My father died two solar-calendar years ago this past Friday. His yahrzeit was last month.

On Friday night, I had my third dream about him in which he was alive. Or to be more accurate, he was dead in the dream but physically present with us acting as if he were alive. I really don't know what to make of it. I mean, it's not exactly seven good years followed by seven bad years.

In the first dream, several family members and I were sitting on my parents' front porch, the way we did so often while my father was alive. My father was there with us. He was a few years younger than he was when he died, by which I mean he had not lost the weight and endured the disfiguring cancer treatment of the final year of his life. In my dream, my mother, my siblings, and I knew he had died, but my father seemed thoroughly unaware of this unfortunate fact.

I don't remember the second dream, but in substance it was more of the same.

The dream I had on Friday night shared much with the previous ones. I was lying in bed, and my father was sitting on a chair next to my bed, with his right foot on the chair and his knee raised in the air. He looked about the same as in the first dream. In the dream, I was thinking that this was not good, because his body should be straight for burial. My father opened his eyes, the pupils of which had the glassy look of someone who'd had cataract surgery, and he started to open his mouth, too. But he didn't speak, and I woke up. I really don't think it had anything to do with the secular anniversary of his death, because in Jewish practice, it's only the yahrzeit, based on the Jewish lunar calendar, that matters, and that occurred over 3 weeks ago. In fact, I didn't even remember the secular anniversary on Friday until the next day.

There must be a whole body of literature on this type of dream. I should do some research when I have a little time. Of course, if anyone can point me in the right direction, I'd be grateful for that.