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Showing posts with label Election 2008. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Election 2008. Show all posts

November 06, 2008

Winning the 108-year-old vote

McCain apparently wasn't old or experienced enough for this Gaithersburg woman: "Woman, 108, votes in her 22nd presidential election."

From the article:

Though she predicted victory for Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.), in part because of his ability to mobilize young voters, she just couldn't get herself to buy into either Obama or Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.). So the 20-year Asbury resident — who moved to Annapolis in the 1920s and worked as a teacher — broke from the Republican ranks for the first time to vote for Ralph Nader.
Because there's a guy with gravitas.

Click here to read more . . .

The Obama Dow Jones Death Watch

"This was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal . . . and the Dow Jones Industrial Average began to plummet."


I apologize for being a little serious here, but it's Day 2 after the election and the Dow has plummeted again. Down over 10% in two days since the election. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea for the man to say, "You know, we're not going to raise taxes after all, and we're going to push for a capital-gains tax cut for everyone." I mean, the election's over, and he can say whatever he wants, including things that actually make sense.





The suck-up and spin headline award goes to AFP: "Despite Obama win, Wall Street turns to hard days ahead."

This one makes more sense to me, from AP: "Stocks plunge as investors ponder Obama presidency."

And if you think I'm just being mean and vindictive, consider this: It's the worst two-day percentage drop since the crash of October 1987.

Consider what this means, too: "World markets traded lower Wednesday despite strong gains in Asia overnight as investors booked profits after Senator Barack Obama won the U.S. presidential election and the Democrats took a firmer hold on Congress." Booking profits means they're expecting the market to fall. It doesn't mean what the article suggests -- that investors were somehow doing well as a result of the election.

Biggest post-election plunge ever.

UPDATE (11/8): OK, the Dow went up 248 points yesterday, recovering just over a quarter of the two-day loss. It won't go down forever.

But Dana Milbank, one of my least favorite Posties, made this amusing point about Obama's press conference on Friday:

When Obama began his speech, the Dow Jones industrial average was up 255 points for the day.

The AP's Nedra Pickler asked what economic measures he would take in his first 100 days. He offered boilerplate about how "my transition team is going to be monitoring very closely what happens over the course of the next several months." The Dow's gains shrank to 145 points.

ABC News's Jake Tapper asked how he would respond to a congratulatory letter from Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. "I will be reviewing the letter from President Ahmadinejad, and we will respond appropriately," Obama answered. The Dow's increase on the day had shrunk to 131 points. Only after Obama disappeared behind the curtain did the market resume its advance.
Now that the election's over and their guy won, I guess they can loosen up a little.

Click here to read more . . .

November 05, 2008

Visitor of the day -- 11/5

And already the questions begin . . .




UPDATE: If you're thinking, "WTF?" right about now, try this post, where I've previously explained "suck eggs."

Click here to read more . . .

Another vote: no confidence

"This was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal . . . and the Dow Jones Industrial Average began to plummet."




[Ed. - I know it technically didn't "begin" to plummet, but it had actually climbed 1,450 points in the previous 6 days of trading, up from 8,175 on Oct. 28.]

.

Click here to read more . . .

November 04, 2008

If Barack Obama were Jewish, instead of the Second Coming of Jesus, Part 13

Obama (shouting into his cell phone): . . . no . . . no, Governor . . . no, Ed . . . no, I didn't say that . . . I said, monitors at the . . . at the polling places . . . right . . . no, Ed . . . you putz . . . you goddam putz, Ed . . . I said A-D-L monitors, Ed . . . Ed . . . A-D-L monitors, not . . . not J-D-L . . .

Story: Philly police called to deal with Black Panthers at polls

Click here to read more . . .

November 03, 2008

The nation's capital prepares for the election

This photo was submitted by someone who wishes to remain anonymous -- and asks, "Isn't the word 'evacuation' in this context somewhat ambiguous?"


Click here to read more . . .

Pre-election linkfest

Here's a short linkfest to keep you political junkies from having to hit the refresh button at your favorite news sites and blogs in the hope that you'll get some useful information.

1. Here's an argument against early voting. (via Instapundit) For what it's worth, I'm voting NO on the early-vote ballot issue in Maryland. What could possibly go wrong with early voting?

2. Contrary to some expectations, it seems younger Jews are more likely to vote for McCain than older ones. (via Volokh)

3. If you vote, you might be eligible for, er, sex toys. (via HotAir) If you vote early, you need to work on your technique.

4. Speaking of which, the feds may be moving closer to running a strip joint. Insert your own joke here. (hat tip: fee simple)

5. Headline of the day: "Nudist group wants clothing-optional polling site."

6. Obama salutes McCain.

7. Taxman. (via HotAir)

UPDATE: 8. The six most insane people to run for President. (hat tip: Right Hand Son)

Click here to read more . . .

October 29, 2008

If Barack Obama were Jewish, instead of the Second Coming of Jesus, Part 12

Obama (shouting into his cell phone): . . . no, Ma . . . no . . . Ma, listen . . . listen . . . your own mother and . . . your mother and father, Ma . . . Bubbe and Zayde, Ma . . . your own parents . . . they were . . . they were socialists, Ma . . . Ma . . . they were, Ma . . . and . . . and . . . it really isn't . . . it isn't socialism what I . . . what I say now, Ma . . . because, Ma . . . Ma . . . it's more like . . . just think of it . . . think of it as . . . as tikkun olam, Ma . . . Ma . . .

Click here to read more . . .

October 28, 2008

Tuesday linkfest

1. Joe the Plumber is more concerned about Israel than two-thirds of American Jews. (via HotAir)

2. Ouch. "That Colin Powell. What a great judge of character."

3. A federal judge is caught having made a campaign contribution to Obama. She describes her occupation as government lawyer. Well, I suppose it's literally true, but can you say "misleading"?

4. Hillbuzz confident about Pennsylvania?

5. Headline of the day: "Near-nude man runs down street firing crackers from head." (via BOTWT)

6. Bonus from the previous link: A photo gallery called "The Joy of Streaking." Really.

7. Quotation of the day about the incident in #3 #5: "'He was new in town, I think,' Mr Annas said." Mr. Annas?

8. This is 7-1/2 years old, but it never loses its charm: "Hi-tech toilet swallows woman / Temporarily." Even with the qualifier it's pretty good.

8. With evil toilets on the loose, maybe this isn't such a problem: "Japanese officials fret about toilet shortage in event of big quake."

Click here to read more . . .

October 26, 2008

Charles Fried and William Weld come under fire

The Scene: Colombia, 50 miles outside Bogota

Charles Fried and William Weld share the rear seat of a black Mercedes belonging to the American Embassy. Their driver, a grizzled vet who works for the Embassy, explains the rules of the road.

Driver: This next 15 mile stretch we call "Death Alley." Coupl'a villages owned by FARC. Owned. You know why we call 'em FARC, don'tcha? 'Cause if you come unprepared, you get farked. Get it? Dangerous s*** here. But I came prepared. See that weapon on the seat?

Fried: Quite impressive.

Driver: 'Bout 20 rounds a second. Got some protection behind me, too. Four guys in the car, all armed to the teeth.

Weld: So then . . .?

Driver: You gentlemen just listen up here. This car's armored, but if there's shooting, I'm gonna yell, and you're gonna hafta get your asses on the floor quick. No -- more than quick.

Fried: The floor's dirty.

Driver: Holy s***, mac. We're talkin' f***in' killer terrorist FARCers. When I yell, you drop.

Weld: This is a $1,200 suit.

Driver: You want a $1,200 casket? Go ahead, don't listen to me.

Fried: I'm a law professor at Harvard.

Driver: S***, I don't care where you're from, and FARC don't care, either.

Weld: I care. I studied at Harvard, too, undergrad and law school.

Driver: What the f*** is wrong with you? I live with FARC every day. I know this s***.

Fried: Where did you go to college?

Driver: College? I didn't go to college. Got drafted, four years in 'Nam. Saw six buddies get their heads blown off. You're my age. You serve?

Weld: I was deferred.

Driver: He was deferred. I fought for you, then. And when I got home, I took business classes at community college at night, doing security work during the day.

Weld: Charles, I don't trust him. I hardly even know anyone who didn't go to Harvard.

Fried: I agree, Bill. I had a student who was president of the law review a few years ago, went into the foreign service. I'll call him right now. He'll have a far more sophisticated and nuanced approach.

(Loud gunfire is heard. Two jeeps cross an open field toward the cars.)

Driver: Jesus, it's FARC! Get the f*** down on the floor!

(He grabs the weapon next to him.)

Fried: Hold on, I'm making a phone call.

Weld: If he's not there, call Barack. That's a no-brainer. We could use his calm and intellect here.

(More gunfire. The car screeches off.)


Story here and here.

Click here to read more . . .

October 24, 2008

Visitor of the day -- 10/24

Just another visitor on this very popular search, but this one's from an interesting place. (For those who haven't seen the post this search leads to, check here, with followup here.)

Exit question: Hometown foe, or fan checking out the opposition?



Click here to read more . . .

October 23, 2008

If Barack Obama were Jewish, instead of the Second Coming of Jesus, Part 11

Obama (shouting into his cell phone): . . . no . . . no, Ma . . . no . . . it was just . . . just a rhetorical flourish . . . Ma . . . no, Ma . . . Joe's . . . Joe's a good guy, Ma . . . he's just . . . what? . . . yeah . . . yeah . . . gaffes, Ma . . . that's the word you're . . . you're looking for, Ma . . . gaffes, yeah . . . yeah, I know, Ma . . . I know . . . she's . . . she's better looking, Ma . . . I didn't pick him for . . . right, Ma, his looks . . . no . . . no, Ma . . . we'll be OK . . . no . . . no, Ma, Joe isn't secretly . . . he isn't a Republican, Ma . . .

Story.

Click here to read more . . .

October 16, 2008

Joey Biden is sent to the principal's office

"Look, John’s last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs."

-- Joe Biden


Principal: Joey, Mrs. Ballenchain tells me you've been saying bad words in her classroom.

Biden: No, Mr. Whacker, it's all a misunderstanding.

Principal: Really, Joey? Pray tell.

Biden: Well, Mr. Whacker, when she turned off the lights to show a movie, I said, "It's as dark as a ship's hold in here."

Principal: Be honest, Joey. You didn't say "ship's hold," did you?

Biden: Well . . . uh . . . I . . . er . . . I guess not.

Principal: Because Mrs. Ballenchain says you used a four-letter word.

Biden: Gosh, no, Mr. Whacker. It was actually only three letters.

Principal: Three letters?

Biden: Yeah . . . S - H - I - T. Three letters.


Biden video here.

.

Click here to read more . . .

October 15, 2008

The Jews empty the shelves of Kool Aid

I've occasional tried writing seriously about Obama and the Jewish vote, but I hate serious, and anyway, there's only so much one can say. The Jews are going to be drinking gallons of Kool-Aid (TM) brand artificially flavored drink mix this election day.

Amir Taheri writes about a presentation by Jesse Jackson in the New York Post:

He promised "fundamental changes" in US foreign policy - saying America must "heal wounds" it has caused to other nations, revive its alliances and apologize for the "arrogance of the Bush administration."

The most important change would occur in the Middle East, where "decades of putting Israel's interests first" would end.

Jackson believes that, although "Zionists who have controlled American policy for decades" remain strong, they'll lose a great deal of their clout when Barack Obama enters the White House.

* * * * *

Jackson is especially critical of President Bush's approach to the Israel-Palestine conflict.

"Bush was so afraid of a snafu and of upsetting Israel that he gave the whole thing a miss," Jackson says. "Barack will change that," because, as long as the Palestinians haven't seen justice, the Middle East will "remain a source of danger to us all."

"Barack is determined to repair our relations with the world of Islam and Muslims," Jackson says. "Thanks to his background and ecumenical approach, he knows how Muslims feel while remaining committed to his own faith."
Well, it's really nice to know that the Jews not only put the interests of a foreign nation before their own but actually control American foreign policy as well. Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush 41, Clinton, and Bush 43 -- we controlled them all. If I had only known . . . there were some specific actions I would have asked for.

As Ed Morrissey at HotAir points out, the Obama campaign has distanced itself from Jackson, but one wonders, nevertheless, given some of Obama's foreign policy advisors and past associations.

It seems to me that there are three major possibilities:

1. Jackson reflects a dominant view in the Obama campaign but is letting the cat out of the bag a little early.

2. Jackson is saying this in response to Obama's efforts to solidify his Jewish support, in order to negate the doubts that Obama's base on the left may be feeling about pro-Israel statements from Obama.

3. Jackson is just a narcissistic free agent saying whatever he thinks will garner him some attention.

I'm leaning toward 3, but maybe I'm just having too much trouble contemplating the awful possibility that it's 1.

By the way, Susan Estrich sees my 3 and raises it to 4. (Jackson is actually trying to sabotage Obama's campaign, she says.)

But as I've suggested, it really doesn't matter with respect to the Jewish vote. The Jews are drinking the Kool Aid.

So it occurred to me, and it may have occurred to you, too, to ask whether, if Jews are going to drink the Kool Aid, does Kool Aid at least have a hechsher (kosher certification)? You'll be pleased to learn that the answer is YES, it does! It's certified by OK.




I'm sure Jesse Jackson would approve.

UPDATE (10/16): Now the Jews are holding their ears and shouting "La, la, la, la, la!!!" Two Obama representatives have backed out of debates with representatives of the Republican Jewish Coalition. From Matt Brooks, executive director of the RJC: "We find it a curious paradox that Obama would engage Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadenijad without preconditions, but the Obama campaign will not engage the RJC."

Click here to read more . . .

October 12, 2008

A day in the life of Congressman John Lewis (D-GA)

I. Breakfast at the IHOP

Waitress: Would you like sausage with your pancakes, sir?

Congressman John Lewis: Whatchu saying to me, lady? You trying to kill me with all that fat and cholesterol? I didn't march with Martin Luther King so I could be offered sausage with my pancakes just because I'm black, you know.

Congressman John Lewis: (under his breath) Got better service at the Kresge's lunch counter.

II. Coffee at Starbucks

Starbucks barista: Should I leave room for cream, sir?

Congressman John Lewis: Hell, no, son. Take a look at me. I take my coffee . . . black! You know what color cream is? White!

Congressman John Lewis: (under his breath) Don't understand why Starbucks always hires these pasty young racist kids.

III. Lunch at the diner

Counterman: If you want some crackers with your soup, here you go.

Congressman John Lewis: What did you say?

Counterman: Crackers. Right here.

Congressman John Lewis: No, sir. I . . . do . . . not . . . like . . . crackers. Like you.

IV. Back home in the evening

Lillian Lewis: Hi, dear. How was your day?

Congressman John Lewis: Now, don't you go talking to me like that old racist b****, Lurleen Wallace.


Story. Also here. Related.


UPDATE: "A careful review of my earlier statement would reveal that I did not compare my wife to that old racist b****, Lurleen Wallace," Lewis stated. "It was not my intention or desire to do so. I compared her 'talking' to that old racist b****'s talking. My statement was a reminder to all Americans that I'm a senile old racist, myself."

Click here to read more . . .

If Barack Obama were Jewish, instead of the Second Coming of Jesus, Part 10

Obama (shouting into his cell phone): . . . no, Ma . . . Ma . . . it's not . . . it's not the Weather Channel, Ma. . . it's . . . it's the Weather Underground . . . yeah, UNDERground, Ma . . . but Ma . . . you remember, Ma . . . I was eight . . . I was eight years old when it . . . it happened, Ma . . . they say he's unrepentent . . . but, Ma . . . I thought . . . I thought he was rehabilitated . . . no . . . no, Ma . . . unrepentent, Ma . . . no, Ma . . . no . . . yeah, repent . . . I know Thursday was . . . it was Yom Kippur, Ma . . . but, Ma . . . Ma . . . Bill Ayers isn't . . . he isn't Jewish, Ma . . . Ma . . .

Click here to read more . . .

Sarah Palin answers the 3 a.m. call, Part 2

(The darkened outside of a house is seen, followed by a shot of a young child sleeping in bed.)

Voiceover: It's 3 a.m., and your children are safe and asleep. But there's a phone on the campaign, and it's ringing. Something's happening in the world.

(Cut away to Sarah Palin picking up the telephone.)

Sarah Palin: Yes, dear. Um, hmmm. Oh, gosh, he'll burp if you put him on the changing table and push his knees up to his chest. Try it ten times. He'll burp, guaranteed.

(Cut to John McCain.)

John McCain: I'm John McCain and I approve a good, strong burp in the middle of the night.

Click here to read more . . .

October 11, 2008

Saturday evening linkfest

If you've been wondering whether I've been taken into the Witness Protection Program -- kind of like those shirts sold by Chinese vendors on the streets of Washington ("You Don't Know Me") -- the answer is YES! I've been taken into the Witness Protection Program.

But I've just been kicked out.

This has been the busiest period for me at work in over three years, and I've been in total panic mode. Until Friday, I didn't think I would be able to handle it, and now I think there's a least a slim chance. So things are looking up.

In honor of this, I'd like to give you a short linkfest. I should have some original stupidity up relatively soon.

1. The Jewish Community Center of Greater Washington is having a book festival, and one of the books featured (see page 5 of the PDF brochure here) is Louis Ferrante's Unlocked: A Journey from Prison to Proust, which the brochure describes this way:

Louis Ferrante, former Mafia associate in the Gambino crime family, was taken down by federal agents and sentenced to over twelve years in prison. In prison, he began a dramatic journey towards redemption and rehabilitation – culminating in the surprising and unexpected discovery of an innate passion for literature, writing and Orthodox Judaism. This is a Mafia memoir unlike any other!
I mention this solely to repeat my son's quip: "An aufruf you can't refuse."

2. Public Service Announcement: If you feel the need to urinate on your neighbor's porch, don't dress in a cow suit.

3. Your web browser hates you. (scary hat tip: fee simple)

4. Your wedding guests hate you.

5. Sarah Palin hates you.

Na, I'm just kidding. Actually, Sarah Palin used a PR consultant in Alaska. (via HotAir) And speaking of Sarah Palin, I did a post about six weeks ago called "Sarah Palin is evil." The post attracted numerous internet bottom-dwelling scum-suckers and has my largest number of comments for any post. My total for visitors who arrived on searches for "Sarah Palin is evil" or an equivalent is now up to 1650. The total who arrived on searches for "Sarah Palin is an idiot" or an equivalent is well over 1000.

Click here to read more . . .

October 03, 2008

Barack Obama practices his wink

"Don't sell the American people short," [David] Axelrod told reporters after the debate. "I'm sure they liked Gov. Palin, but they need more than a wink and a smile."

Byron York, National Review Online,
Sarah Palin, the Winner by a Wink



Obama: Like this, then?

Axelrod: No, no. It looks like someone kicked sand in your eye. You can't appear weak.

Obama: OK, watch me now.

Axelrod: Still wrong. It's like your contact got stuck in your eyelid.

Obama: Wait, wait a minute. I've been studying the tapes. She did it almost exactly that way.

Axelrod: No, she didn't. And you gotta remember to smile when you do it. Smile!

Obama: OK, OK, OK. Let me try it again. "We can't afford four more years of the same failed Bush policies." [He winks and smiles.] "John McCain will break into your elderly mother's house, steal her wallet, urinate on her front door, and kick her dog on his way out." [He winks and smiles.]

Axelrod:

Obama: What now?

Axelrod:

Obama: You're giving me that look.

Axelrod:

Obama: OK, I guess we're done with that exercise. Now, should I wear a black dress? David? David?

Click here to read more . . .

October 02, 2008

Sarah Palin answers the 3 a.m. call

(The darkened outside of a house is seen, followed by a shot of a young child sleeping in bed.)

Voiceover: It's 3 a.m., and your children are safe and asleep. But there's a phone on the campaign, and it's ringing. Something's happening in the world.

(Cut away to Sarah Palin picking up the telephone.)

Sarah Palin: Todd? What is it?

(She pauses a second.)

Sarah Palin: Damn it, Todd! It's 3:00 in the morning. Just get that boy's ass out of her room, now! I know he's gonna marry her, but hasn't he caused enough trouble already?

(Cut to John McCain)

John McCain: I'm John McCain, and I approve of getting that boy's sorry ass out of that room.


UPDATE (10/6): Wow, the crew at LGF didn't like this. It's at -14. They must have assumed that I'm some left-wing jerk mocking Palin.

Click here to read more . . .