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March 06, 2008

The Million Mile High Club?

You adventurers who are planning your first space mission have probably got a few questions.

* How long does the training take?

* What's it like to be weightless?

* Can I have sex in space?

I don't know the answers to the first two questions, but if you believe this article in Pravda, the answer to the third question is Yes.

Now, I know that those of us who grew up in the Cold War were trained not to believe Pravda. There was an old saying among the dissidents that "Pravda (Truth) has no news, and Izvestia (News) has no truth."

But that article is too good to check.

“While a lot of scientists all over the world are busy searching for extraterrestrial civilizations, astronauts plan a more earthly contact, that is conceiving a human baby at the orbital station,” Rostislav Beleda, a Candidate of Medical Sciences said. Mr. Beleda worked as the chief sexologist at the Central Aviation Hospital for 14 years. “The biggest problem is how to conceive, because liquid cannot be spilt under the condition of weightlessness,” he added.

“But they do not need a bed in space. They can love each other in the air.”

“And what will come out of that? As soon as he touches her, she will fly away in the opposite direction. A bed or at least some fastening device on a wall is more likely to be used.”

“Is astronauts’ sexual need taken into consideration during long-term flights?”

“Certainly. In space men exercise on treadmills. In addition, they can theoretically masturbate too. But they should not forget about condoms or other containers, otherwise drop of sperm will be flying chaotically in the cabin and they will have to collect it. As a matter of fact, humans are not eager to make love in space. ***”
I hear you thinking very loudly right now: "Too much information!" But you asked for it, and I provided it.

As for the answers to your other questions, you'll have to look elsewhere.