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May 04, 2007

The omnipotent global warming

Global warming causes warm weather. It also causes cold weather. It causes hurricanes. It causes nice weather.

In short, global warming causes weather. Which is fortunate for us, because if there were anything that wasn't caused by global warming, we might be able to prove or disprove it. As it is, we can be comfortable in knowing that the only way to disprove it is to show that there is no weather at all. And even that might be caused by global warming.

Apparently, global warming also is lengthening the day -- and simultaneously shortening the day. We learn this from a remarkable article, which says: "In the next two centuries, global warming could cause the days to grow slightly shorter on Earth, a new study finds. Another effect of warming, however, might actually lengthen the day." I worry that, as with matter and anti-matter, this combination of opposites might actually blow us to smithereens, if the Islamic terrorists haven't done it first.

So maybe it's a good idea for the Democrats to charge the CIA with stopping global warming. After all, the Agency hasn't done a very good job with stopping Islamic terrorism.