Don't let this happen to you

Today was a pretty good day for the Drudge Report, from which both of these stories came.

First, a guy, distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, did what every sensible guy would do. (Warning: Don't click here to find out. I told you not to click there.) Anyway, the police discovered it only about 10 feet away from the front porch, which suggests that the guy is now throwing like a girl.

Second, in Seguin, Texas, according to a news report, a "cow came flying out of its trailer, sent DPS and police scrambling, and left two police cars going up in flames." A police sergeant told the news reporter:

"We believe the gate of the cattle trailer came open, and the cow, for lack of a better phrase spilled out onto the Interstate. It was pretty chaotic for a while."

Several cars hit some of the cows. One cow died. DPS troopers called for backup.

That's when one officer was nearly run down by a speeding truck, carrying two illegal immigrants inside.

Seguin Police were out looking for those illegal immigrants. They parked their cars in the hot grass, burning two of them including that brand new 2006 Crown Victoria. Watson said, "Well, all of a sudden, another officer who'd arrived on the scene, alerted the sergeant that there was a fire."

Everything inside was destroyed, including tens of thousands of dollars worth of equipment designed for the patrol cars.

But that description's not nearly as good as the sergeant's reaction: "'It was almost hard to believe,' said Detective Sergeant Maureen Watson." Not hard to believe, mind you, but almost hard to believe.