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January 01, 2005

WaPo's Dave Barry contest

Dave Barry announced some weeks ago that he was leaving his column to concentrate on writing children's books. To memorialize this, the Washington Post invited readers to write the opening of a famous children's book in the style of Dave Barry. I regret to say that the results were pretty poor. Maybe it can't be done, but if you're going to do it, the way to do it is this:

Here is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now, bump, bump, bump, on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin. The bear, which will soon be introduced to us as Winnie-the-Pooh, was soaked in hairspray. When Christopher Robin dragged Pooh over the final carpeted step, flames shot three feet up in the air. I'm not making this up. We have a video of it and watch it frequently at parties. (Incidentally, The Flaming Bears would be a good name for a rock band.)
OK, so this one isn't so good, either. That's why I didn't submit it.