Barack Obama responds to the Gettysburg Address

Obama: I'm appalled at the fear-mongering that Lincoln is using to pursue his dishonest and divisive attacks. When he says "that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth," is he suggesting that if I were elected, I would somehow end government of, by, and for the people? Well, let me say this. If Mr. Lincoln wants to have a debate about his abuse of governmental powers, and his continued pursuit of failed policies in this illegal and unconstitutional war, I'm ready to have that debate right now and every day until the election. And I will win that debate. [ * ]

UPDATE: Obama responds to Winston Churchill following the British evacuation from Dunkirk.

Obama: . . . and I'm particularly outraged by his statement that "we shall never surrender." It is completely unjustified to suggest that I am in any way in favor of surrender . . . .

UPDATE: Obama responds to FDR.

Obama: . . . and isn't it more than ironic that Mr. Roosevelt says that "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself," when at the same time he's ratcheting up the fear by speaking of "nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance," all the while implying that my election would lead to an increase in terror . . . .

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EXTRA: I remember that one. (It reminds see-dubya of an old Bill Cosby routine.)