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November 05, 2005

Another scary toilet alert

What does it mean for the future of the Free World when we have two scary toilet alerts almost back to back? Or should I say, backside to backside?

In our previous STA, a three-year-old discovered a large carnivorous lizard in the toilet.

Today's STA involves a man who has sued Home Depot because he was glued to the toilet seat in the store for 20 minutes while employees "ignored his plight." The trouble is that when you have to use the toilet in a large warehouse store, "plight" is exactly what you will have, in spades.

A Colorado man who had a panic attack when he found he was glued to a toilet seat in a Home Depot restroom has sued the home improvement giant for negligence, saying staff ignored his plight.

Retired electrical engineer Bob Dougherty, 57, said on Thursday he was stuck in the stall with his pants down for about 20 minutes and that two years after the 2003 incident he was suffering from post-traumatic stress, which has triggered diabetes and heart complications.

"I have these nightmares every night where I am locked in this dark room, with no windows, no doors, no fresh air, no route for escape. I wake up in these cold sweats," Dougherty said.

Spokesmen for Home Depot Inc. could not immediately be reached for comment.
Probably they were hiding out in the john.

Here's some more on the suit's allegations:
The lawsuit said after about 15 minutes, store officials called for an ambulance. Paramedics unbolted the toilet seat, and while wheeling a "frightened and humiliated" Dougherty out of the store, he passed out.

The lawsuit said the toilet seat separated from his skin, leaving abrasions.

"This is not Home Depot's fault," he said. "But I am blaming them for letting me hang in there and just ignoring me."
Talk about being Stuck on Stupid!

But here's some advice: You know those toilet-seat-shaped sheets of paper that they have in public bathrooms? They're there to save your ass. Let them get glued to the seat, instead of your own skin.

UPDATE (11/10): Apparently, there's some question whether this fellow is a scammer. (Via Fark)