Cold reception

Sure there's snow and ice here in Maryland, but apparently it's really cold in Howard County, where the Baltimore Sun reports there will be an "alternative sex" convention this weekend. The residents are, shall we say, not enthusiastic.

"Would you want to put your baby on the bedspread? This hotel is a residential community. Is it appropriate for our community?" said Ingrid Holzman, 42, who lives with her husband and two children in a home on the 800-acre golf course property. "I moved here eight months ago from Massachusetts. I'm not a prude."

But the idea that her family might have gone to dinner at the hotel restaurant without knowing about the "Dark Odyssey -Winter Fire" participants walking the same hallways upset her, she said. The two-day event is so popular that the hotel's 220 rooms are full, and some participants are renting rooms in other hotels, according to the event's Web site.

The Sun describes the convention:

On its Web site, Dark Odyssey is billed as "a vacation where you can explore the many facets of sexuality in a private, intimate community of like-minded people," featuring "a multitude of partnering possibilities, from swinging and open relationships to threesomes."

Howard County police Chief Wayne Livesay talked to hotel management at Turf Valley yesterday and is "comfortable that all public safety issues are being taken care of appropriately," at the Dark Odyssey convention, said police spokesman Dave Proulx.

Well, according the Dark Odyssey web site -- only the bare-bones (yuk!) home page seems to be accessible, not that I'd really like to explore it too far, anyway -- the event is indeed sold out.

All I can say is: Eeeeewwwwww! Spring Break for the middle-aged crowd.

UPDATE (2/25): Just remembered that Dave Barry had a column a couple of years ago about attending a swingers' convention -- "for journalism purposes." An excerpt:

The thong appears to be a major weapon in the swinger's fashion arsenal. This is not necessarily a good thing. Your taut-bodied individual may be able to pull it off (har!), but when you see a portly middle-aged man who has more body hair than a musk ox and (I swear) a tattoo of Elvis on his right butt cheek stroll past wearing essentially a No. 8 rubber band, you begin to think that maybe it's time Congress enacted strict Federal Thong Control.