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January 19, 2007

Mr. Smith goes to Starbucks

(With apologies to WuzzaDem)

'Morning, there. I'd like to have . . .

The gentleman may state his parliamentary inquiry.

Parliamentary inquiry? I just wanted to have . . .

The chair has not heard a proper parliamentary inquiry.

The chair? All I wanted was . . .

The gentleman may raise a point of order.

A point of order? I'd like to order a medium coffee with . . .

The gentleman will suspend! A point of order may not begin with "I'd like to order."

A medium coffee, that's all.

The chair informs the gentleman that there is no "medium" in this chamber.

No medium?

The chair informs the gentleman that this chamber recognizes only tall, grande, or venti.

Tall, grande, and what? Would you -- I mean, would the chair tell me how I can go about learning what's available in this store -- I mean, this chamber?

The gentleman could ask a properly formed parliamentary inquiry, or he could ask the other gentlemen in the chamber, or, of course, he could read the menu on the wall behind the chair.

Well, I have a point of order then.

The gentleman will state the point of order.

Will the chair pour me a grande coffee with . . .

The gentleman will suspend! A point of order may not ask the chair to engage in menial labor.

Now, see here! I came into this store -- this chamber -- to buy a simple cup of coffee and the chair is -- now I'm talking about a chair . . .

The gentleman will suspend! The gentleman knows there is no "simple cup of coffee" in this chamber. The gentleman is making a speech, not raising a . . .

Now hold on. I don't . . .

The gentleman will not interrupt the chair!

The gentleman is going over to Dunkin' Donuts.

Damn Republican bigot.

Barney Frank video here.