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April 24, 2006

Osama bin Toast - one more time

I'm probably the only sentient being in the world who still thinks Osama bin Laden is dead -- except, perhaps, for Mrs. Osama, who is just engaging in wishful thinking. My series "Osama bin Toast" is here, here, here, and here.

Do I have sound, empirical or logical reasons for my belief? Is the Pope Jewish? Judge for yourself.

Anyway, I had to laugh when the major newspapers had multiple OBLgasms about the newest audiotape from "Osama." It's the standard Democratic Party talking points:

"Your aircraft and tanks are destroying houses over the heads of our kinfolk and children in Palestine, Iraq, Afghanistan, Chechnya and Pakistan. Meanwhile, you smile in our faces, saying: 'We are not hostile to Islam; we are hostile to terrorists,'" bin Laden said, according to excerpts of the audiotape attributed to him and broadcast by the al-Jazeera network.
The Washington Post has excerpts from the transcript here.

I know this couldn't actually be Osama who made the audiotape, even though the Post says that the tape "sounded like" Osama. The reason is that the New York Times wrote this:
His voice sounding strong and combative, Mr. bin Laden implied that killing American civilians was justified, beseeched Muslims to fight any Sudan peacekeeping force and called for the creators of the offensive cartoons to be turned over to Al Qaeda for punishment.
How stupid do you think we are? If it were really Osama, he wouldn't "imply" that killing American civilians was justified. Don't you remember September 11? He would have stated in no uncertain terms that it was justified and desirable.

Obviously, this is just some out-of-work actor in Hollywood getting paid to do a cheap Osama impersonation. They couldn't even afford to hire a decent speech writer.

The real Osama is pushing daisies somewhere a couple of hundred miles north of Karachi.

UPDATE (4/25): On a serious note, Counterterrorism Blog has an extensive analysis of the speech, by Walid Phares. (via Hot Air)

UPDATE (4/26): My comment above about Osama's use of Democratic Party talking points was a cheap shot, but it wouldn't have been if I had made it about Abu Musab al-Zarqawi and his latest videotape:
Accusing Bush of "arrogance" in refusing to respond to bin Laden's recent offer of "a long-term truce," Zarqawi said the president had "become a liar to your own people . . . you claim that everything is under control . . . and it appears afterward that you are lying."