Naked news - late April edition

I'm heading out of town for the weekend (and, no, I'm not writing this from work), so I thought I'd leave you with the late April edition of Naked News, the feature that offers the latest on happenings in the raw, in a crass effort to increase site traffic.

1. Our first item, via Fark, brings us a report from the St. Louis area of a 50-something married couple found nearly stark nekkid, after their truck was wrecked on the highway. You won't believe me, so I'm quoting the news account:

The rescue crew that freed a husband-and-wife truck-driving team from their wrecked rig Thursday morning found them nearly naked.

But it isn't what you're thinking.

The couple, with the wife driving, were headed north on Interstate 255 near here at 12:57 a.m. when their tractor-trailer went into the median and hit a culvert.

Both occupants were trapped under the dashboard.

The wife, Lalita Sudyvonroediger, 51, said in an interview from her hospital bed that she had been wearing a large T-shirt, but nothing else.

"I tried to be comfortable," she explained. "I was traveling where nobody could see me from the outside." She added: "I wasn't planning on stopping."

Her husband, Barry N. Weinberger, 52, was indeed naked, and asleep in a rear bunk at the time of the accident.

I love this. It never would have occurred to me to drive a truck naked, or even my own car. I try to be comfortable, too, but I would always wear at least a loin cloth. And this quote from the woman is priceless:

"I was driving down the road listening to the radio, and the next thing I saw a pine tree coming at me," she said.

2. A former Mets ballplayer, originally from Japan, named Tsuyoshi Shinjo, is taking off his uniform, literally, to become a nude model. (via MetsBlog)

Shinjo announced his retirement and startled fans by disclosing his new career path.

What the fans at Tokyo Dome didn't realize when 34-year-old Shinjo told them on April 18 that he was removing his uniform, was that he was speaking literally, according to Shukan Gendai (5/6-13).

As the article notes, Shinjo is something of a personality.

"It was typical Shinjo. I wasn't surprised at all," baseball analyst Takenori Emoto tells Shukan Gendai, regarding the sudden retirement. "I think part of the reason there was so much showbiz in the announcement was that the entire Pacific League seemed to be caught up in Shinjo and he was basically running wild, doing whatever he wanted to. He didn't give a damn about his team as long as he looked good."

Actually, it's not the first time Shinjo has retired. After a fight with management at the end of the 1995 season, Shinjo announced he was retiring from the Hanshin Tigers, who he played for at the time. He changed his mind a little while later, playing a few more seasons for the Tigers before heading to the U.S. where he played three seasons in the Majors, two for the New York Mets with a season at the San Francisco Giants sandwiched in between.

"This time, he really means it," Emoto opines. "At his age, it's no longer possible to hide the fact that he's not the batter he once was. It's a sad time for a professional ball player."

What's odd is that most people would decide they're not the nude model they once were long before deciding they were not the batter they once were. I hope he knows what he's doing.

Then again, a guy who's married to a former pin-up and who plans to do a double nude shot must know what he's doing.

Added to these points, Shinjo's wife, Shiho, is a former pin-up queen who retired following their 2000 marriage, but has recently returned to work in showbiz. Some women's magazines have already reported on the couple's planned double-act display of undress.

And, yes, for those of you who haven't yet clicked on the link, there's a photo of his wife accompanying the article, a rather demure one, actually. It's a cover shot from some Japanese magazine. Basically SFW.

3. This final story doesn't technically qualify as naked news, but when I tell you it was written by Pamela Anderson, you'll understand why I'm including it. Ms. Anderson, identified as "an actress" and "honorary chair" of PETA, writes a piece on the Wall Street Journal's opinionjournal.com website, entitled "No Way to Treat a Relative / Chimps shouldn't be forced to live like me."

I'm not sure, but I think the point of the article is that we shouldn't use apes and non-human primates on TV or in movies. But the subtitle suggests to me that we also should make sure that these primates are not forced to endure the shame of artificial bodily enhancements and underground internet videos. That's a goal I can heartily endorse.