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September 16, 2007

O.J. Simpson goes to Starbucks

Starbucks barista: Good morning, sir. What can I get for you today?

O.J. Simpson: Get me French roast, or else you be toast.

Starbucks barista: OK, sir, what size French roast would you like?

O.J. Simpson: Just gimme what I said, or you gonna taste lead.

Starbucks barista: Will that be all, sir?

O.J. Simpson: If that coffee ain't hot, you gonna get shot.

Starbucks barista: Would you like room for cream, sir?

O.J. Simpson: If you don't fill, I'm gonna kill.

Starbucks barista: That'll be $1.94, sir.

O.J. Simpson: If this happened in L.A., you'd be dead yesterday.

Starbucks barista: Is this a robbery, sir?

O.J. Simpson: I'm O.J. Simpson. How am I going to think that I'm going to rob somebody and get away with it? You've got to understand, this ain't somebody going to steal somebody's drugs or something like that. This is somebody going to get his private s--- back. That's it. That's not robbery.