Kerry won't say he's sorry ('cause he's not)

WITH UPDATES BELOW (Including link to video of full speech)

I've mentioned before that, because of my blog's name, I often get visitors based on searches for "X is an idiot" or "Idiot X," where X is usually Bush or some other public figure. When it's Bush, I usually chuckle to myself, because this photo comic is where they end up.

You'll be pleased to know that today I've reached my one-day record for visitors based on searches for "John Kerry is an idiot." Which took them to this photo comic.

If you've paid attention to today's news, you'll have no question why these people are searching for "John Kerry is an idiot." Three posts, with video, at HotAir will explain it all.

First, Kerry makes an idiotic statement implying the American troops in Iraq are dumb and possibly lazy: "You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq."

Second, Kerry issues a press release attacking "White House Press Secretary Tony Snow, assorted right wing nut-jobs, and right wing talk show hosts," and he claims the comment was about Bush, not the troops. You really have to read the whole press release at the link to get the true insane flavor.

Third, under pressure from people well beyond the "right wing nut-jobs," Kerry holds a short press conference in which he adamantly and angrily refuses to apologize. He says he wants to make it "crystal clear" that he won't apologize to anyone, and he says it was just a "botched joke" about Bush, not a comment about the troops.

All of which reminds me of the Tom Chapin kids' song called "Mikey Won't Say He's Sorry." With apologies to Chapin and his lyricist, John Forster, here's an adaptation of the opening of the song:

Kerry said, "You must get educated.
If you don't, you'll get stuck in Iraq."
And they said,"Say you're sorry" but he won't say he's sorry,
No he won't say he's sorry,
(Kerry:) Cause I'm not!

Well, McCain gave him hell for his statement,
So he spoke to the press at this spot.
Kerry won't say he's sorry.
(Press:) You won't say you're sorry?
No he won't say he's sorry,
(Kerry:) Cause I'm not!
He's not. He's not.
Kerry won't say he's sorry,
(Kerry:) Cause I'm not!

UPDATE (11/1): In the comments, someone calling himself Blutscheiss (which means "Bloods**t" in German -- really) takes me to task for not understanding what Kerry really meant. "No offense--and I don't wanna call you an uneducated idiot--but when I heard/saw his first dumb statement, I knew exactly who Kerry was talking about and it wasn't the troops."

Now, I may be an idiot, but I'm not an uneducated idiot, having spent a total of seven years at Ivy League institutions for college and law school, for whatever difference that can possibly make. I've spent some time since reading Bloods**t's comment imagining what Kerry could possibly have been saying, assuming Bloods**t is right that he meant Bush, and not the troops. Here's what I've come up with. I've added the verbiage that Kerry would have had to leave out to make this a comment about Bush. You judge whether this can possibly be what Kerry had in mind:

"You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don’t, and you're the President of the United States, you get our troops stuck in Iraq."

What's wrong with Bloods**t's apologetics for Kerry is that you'd have to include both of the bolded phrases for your comment to make any sense, assuming it's really about Bush. Bush isn't stuck in Iraq; it's our troops (assuming you believe that) that are stuck in Iraq. For Kerry to have been referring to Bush, you'd have to start from "you get our troops stuck in Iraq," proceed to "you get our country stuck in Iraq" (a metaphor), and end up with "you (Bush) get stuck in Iraq" (even more of a metaphor). So if Kerry actually meant Bush, and left out both bolded phrases, perhaps he is the Ivy-League-educated idiot.

And the evidence on my side? Apart from the obvious semantics and syntax, consider Kerry's history of trashing the troops.

(By the way, check out some of Mr. Bloods**t's comments at other blogs.)

UPDATE (11/1): Here's what Kerry's flacks claim he meant to say (via HotAir): "It's great to be here with college students. I can't overstress the importance of a great education. Do you know where you end up if you don't study, if you aren't smart, if you're intellectually lazy? You end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq. Just ask President Bush." This basically includes the two bolded phrases in the update above -- not in terms but in essence. So perhaps, as I said, Kerry is an Ivy-educated idiot.

UPDATE (11/1): Ace has loads of fun. Here are the titles of some of his recent posts:

Breaking: George Allen Claims "Macaca" Slur "Intended As A Joke About President Bush"

Breaking: James Webb Says "Penis In Mouth" Passage Intended As "Critique of Unilateralist Neocon Foreign Policy"

Breaking: Bill Clinton Says Entirety of Deposition In Paula Jones Case "Intended As Elaborate Pun About George Bush's Intelligence"

Breaking: O.J. Simspon's New Book Claims Murders Were "Performance Art Misinterpreted By Critics"

Breaking: Mainstream Media Claims 40 Years Of Biased Liberal Coverage "Meant As First Draft Of Jazz-Rock Update of The HMS Pinafore"

Breaking: Scooter Libby Says Plame Disclosure "Just A Knock-Knock Joke Gone Terribly Wrong"

Breaking: Saddam Hussein Complains "No One 'Gets' Me"

Ted Kennedy: Chappequiddick Intended As Harmless "Pull My Finger" Gag

Breaking: Adolf Hitler's Last Words? "Tough Room"

And this from some troops in Iraq.

UPDATE (11/1): Via HotAir, here's a link to the video of Kerry's speech. In context, it pretty clearly wasn't a "botched joke." I'm even more convinced now that the joke was meant exactly the way it came out. Judge for yourself. It's near the beginning of the video, after two other jokes.