Monday linkfest

What, another linkfest? Yes, another linkfest.

1. Major scoop: Supreme Court justices might be influenced by their clerks.

2. Baltimore efficiency: "Members of Baltimore's Board of Fire Commissioners will receive their final paychecks at the end of this month, after a recent discovery by the city's Finance Department that the members have not been eligible for a city stipend since 1996."

3. New doll: "I made a stinky."

4. Try it with a photo of Wolf Blitzer.

5. Talk about pollination!

6. Rockville in the news: If you get a speed camera ticket, you might be the victim of a prank; "students duplicate the license plates by printing plate numbers on glossy photo paper, using fonts from certain websites that 'mimic' those on Maryland license plates. They tape the duplicate plate over the existing plate on the back of their car and purposefully speed through a speed camera, the parent said. The victim then receives a citation in the mail days later."

(4 and 5 via The Corner, 6 via Ace)


UPDATE: 7. The Weekly Standard's parody imitates Pillage Idiot. ("**** them!")

Click here to read more . . .

Up in Canada

I spent Wednesday through Sunday in Toronto hunting grizzly bears in front of Union Station. I bagged two, which is OK in Toronto as long as you put their various parts in the correct recycling bins. And I want to bring you up to date on the happenings occurring in our northern neighbor.

First, this morning, a few miles north of our hotel, there was a major series of explosions at a propane plant, causing quite a spectacle. You can get a few details here. Watch out for those outdoor grills you guys have on your decks. If you'd like to see some photos, check out this post at photojunkie.ca.

Second, you remember the incident on a Greyhound bus in Canada, when one passenger beheaded another? Well, here's an article in the Globe and Mail, in which an intrepid reporter risks life, limb, and neck to ride a similar bus and interview the passengers. Quotation of the day:

Bus etiquette is sorted out nightly on a semi-feudal basis among seatmates. One point of contention, without fail, is a reclined chair that interferes with someone else's legroom. Mr. Lehmann and Ms. Dickey moved up front after another passenger confronted them about their reclining habits. That's where you will find them now, her head resting on his shoulder, both asleep.

“You're not really supposed to change seats,” comments Oli Hall, 20, a British backpacker. “And you're definitely not supposed to stab people, decapitate them, then dance around with it.”

Third, a black bear invaded a basement apartment in a town in British Columbia. Fortunately, Brian Fortune, the resident of the apartment, was not present for the invasion. However, I'm sorry (pronounced "SAWR-ee," as the Canadians do) to report that this story is a metaphor for modern-day Canada. Mr. Fortune is apparently a liberal. How do I know that? Here's how: "Mr. Fortune said he sympathized with the animal. 'It's unfortunate that the bears are resorting to that, coming into our area,' he said. 'Although we did infringe on their area first.'" Also, the RCMP had to step in to resolve the impasse. Consider how that one turned out:

"Because of the aggressive behaviour displayed by the bear by entering a house, a shot was taken from the Coquitlam RCMP," Constable Leung said.

The shot struck the bear in the shoulder but failed to immobilize it. The animal climbed up a nearby tree, where it remained until conservation officer Peter Busink arrived 15 minutes later.

Mr. Busink fired a tranquilizer dart that soon sent the bear tumbling to the ground. But as RCMP officers approached, they realized the animal was not completely subdued. Coquitlam RCMP then used a shotgun to kill the bear.

So let's review the bidding. The RCMP shoots the bear -- and barely stuns it. The bear stays in a tree mocking the RCMP, shouting obscenities at passers-by, and whistling at the women until the animal control officers shoots it -- with a sedative. The RCMP then steps forward to finish the task that the animal control officer started. Sheesh, is that embarrassing, or what?

Oh, and it reminds me of the famous Woody Allen nightclub routine about shooting a moose.

Finally, on a more serious note, I've always found it hard to prepare mentally for Rosh Hashanah. I have some trouble with the theology, and the fact that it was Tisha B'Av today didn't help. But in Toronto, whenever the subway doors close, there's a chime that slowly plays the 5-3-1 of the major scale (out of tune, but never mind). Those notes are the same notes that begin the aleynu prayer in the tune used on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. So at every stop on every trip I took on the subway, I was singing or thinking about the Rosh Hashanah aleynu. Maybe I'll return to Toronto just before the holidays.

Click here to read more . . .

Tuesday linkfest

Once again, I'm here with the extra links I've been saving for no particular reason. Some of them are, in internet terms, pre-historic. But I'll let you make the judgment.

1. Before I begin, I want to mention doubleplusundead, the latest addition to my regular, non-Maryland blogroll. DPUD is a moron. (You'll understand what I mean by that if you read Ace, who's a self-described moron-blogger.) In fact, DPUD has a frequent feature of "links from around the moronosphere," covering the other morons. Since I'm an idiot -- but also an honorary moron -- I've been included a couple of times. Check DPUD frequently, because there are a lot of amusing posts over there.

2. While American forces are doing the hard work, the folks in Prescott, Arizona, are singing kumbaya and erecting a peace post at the fifth anniversary of our intervention in Iraq: "A new monument stands in Prescott - a simple wooden pole bearing the same phrase in four different languages: May Peace Prevail On Earth." (via SondraK, who has a mouseover making fun of this)

3. The Daily Show goes to Berkeley, home of anti-Marine radicalism. Hilarity ensues.

4. Enthusiastic about voting for John McCain? No, but you'll force yourself to do it, anyway? Here's your next stop: The Reluctant Voter (hat tip: fee simple)

5. Eliot Spitzer isn't the only rich dude who uses high-end escort services. "'With the wealthy,' Mr. Prince says, 'it's all about power and control and new experiences.'" (via Fark)

6. Going on a date in China? Looking for a restaurant? Here's my recommendation: "There are several varieties of steamed, roasted and boiled penis at Beijing's quirkiest diner." (via HotAir)

7. Ten great inventions for St. Patrick's Day. Sorry I missed posting this yesterday. Save it for next year. Or consider it on Purim, which falls on Thursday night.

8. "Neocon" transportation policy? (via Heh, indeed.)

9. Shelby Steele on Barack Obama on race bargaining: "And yet, in the end, Barack Obama's candidacy is not qualitatively different from Al Sharpton's or Jesse Jackson's. Like these more irascible of his forbearers, Mr. Obama's run at the presidency is based more on the manipulation of white guilt than on substance. Messrs. Sharpton and Jackson were 'challengers,' not bargainers. They intimidated whites and demanded, in the name of historical justice, that they be brought forward. Mr. Obama flatters whites, grants them racial innocence, and hopes to ascend on the back of their gratitude. Two sides of the same coin."

10. In my family, we have a running joke about enraged bees. There was a story some years back about a truckload of bees that overturned near the Tappan Zee Bridge, which runs over the Hudson River near where I grew up, and the article referred to "enraged bees." ("When the trailer overturned on the westbound exit ramp leading to the Thruway at 8:35 A.M., millions of the enraged bees emerged.") Today's story of an overturned truck carrying bees comes from California: "Millions of swarming honey bees were on the loose after a truck carrying crates of the insects flipped over on a California highway." This article doesn't mention enraged bees, but it refers to "bee wrangling": "Bradley said several beekeepers driving by the accident stopped to assist in the bee wrangling."

UPDATE (3/19): 11. Too good to pass up. Feminist Marianne Williamson (video): "Well, first of all, I'm not going to vote with my vagina."

12. Ten people to avoid at the ballpark. (via MetsBlog) Some of the comments are better than the post.

Click here to read more . . .

I'm back

Thanks very much to Soccer Dad for posting twice in my absence. Two very interesting posts, which you can read by scrolling down or clicking on the links.

I want to offer you greetings from the boys.


And one photo of an interesting flower in the dark.

Click here to read more . . .

Mugged by monkeys

This week's burning question is answered at Slate: "What should you do if you're surrounded by angry macaques?" No George Allen jokes, please! Those monkeys killed an Indian government official the other day.

Slate's answer, in its short version, is: "It's like Mom said about muggers: Just give 'em what they want." In other words, "Act French." Surrender! Be a cheese-eating surrender monkey to a bunch of monkeys. Got it?

And speaking of eating cheese, eating cheese apparently leads to sleepwalking, sometimes in the nude in public places. (hat tip: Soccer Dad)

A surge in naked sleepwalking among guests has led one of Britain's largest budget hotel groups to re-train staff to handle late-night nudity.

According to the article, "Studies have found that sleepwalking can be brought on by stress, alcohol, eating cheese or consuming too much caffeine."

So the moral is: If you stay in a budget hotel in England, don't be surprised to see naked cheese-eating somnabulist monkeys wandering around late at night.

My advice would be that you might want to invest a few more dollars in a better hotel.

Click here to read more . . .

Headline of the month

I swear I'm not making this headline up. Click the link.

"Flaming squirrel ignites car in Bayonne"

And any article that starts with this line is pretty good, too: "It's Rocky the Frying Squirrel!"

(via Fark)

Click here to read more . . .

Monkey business

I need to turn in early, so I'm just going to leave you with this headline from LiveScience.com and the link, and you can write the rest -- or not. Feel free to use the comments section to make the jokes you think I should have made.

"To Get Sex, Monkeys Rub Themselves with Pee"

(via HotAir)

Click here to read more . . .