[Welcome, Lizardoid Minions. Feel free to check out the Pillage Idiot Cheat Sheet for other insanely infantile stuff.]
Scene at a recent speech by Barack Obama.....
Obama: "Gotta blow my nose here for a second." *
[Applause.]
Obama: There! OK, now, as I was saying, uh, hold on . . . BWARRRRRRPPPP!!
[Applause.]
Obama: Hmm, not bad. I can do "Dwight David Eisenhower the Third" in one belch, too. DWIGHTDAVIDEISENHOWERTHETHIRD.
[Applause.]
Obama: Yeah, babeeee!! Now, let me move the mic a little lower . . . there! Pfffffftttt!!
[Applause.]
Obama: That was the dog. At least, that's what I tell Michelle, because you know what kind of temper she has. Say, wanna hear me make armpit noises? BWAP, BWAP, BWAP!!
[Applause.]
Obama: I can do both pits at one time, too. Under my knees, my chin . . . bwip, bwip, bwip!
[Applause.]
Obama: Hey, wanna see me take a leak?
[Audience mutters loudly. Boos are heard.]
Obama: Hmmmmm, tough audience.
( * via HotAir)
Showing posts with label boogers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boogers. Show all posts
February 20, 2008
Barack Obama shows he's human
January 09, 2008
The progress of science and useful arts
If your nostrils are not free and clear, you basically have two choices. The first is what we might call the low-tech method: tissue for the (sort-of) liquid stuff and manual removal for the solid stuff. The second choice, through the indispensable InventorSpot, is more high-tech: a mucus-removing gun. (This invention fully warrants the "Dude" headline given to it at HotAir.)
Not to be outdone, HotAir commenter and occasional Pillage Idiot commenter "veeshir" offers this patent application: a "Toy gas fired missile and launcher assembly." You might not realize unless you click the link, or unless I tell you, that the gas it fires is man-made, if you catch my drift. "To operate the assembly, the operator places the inlet tube with its valve open adjacent his anal region from which a colonic gas is discharged." Dude.
November 14, 2007
John Edwards spreads his charm among voters
If John Edwards were really going to be the first woman president, there is no way in hell he would have done this.
Ace captions it: "John Edwards' New Vow: Enact Universal Health Care Or I Will Cause An Epidemic By Wiping My Snot On Every Citizen In America."
The Edwards campaign responds: "Senator Edwards's snot is hypoallergenic. It's only right-wing Republican boogers -- I mean, bloggers -- who attempt to wipe their own insecurities on other people."
My grandmother used to tell a joke about the Yiddish theater. The story goes that during a performance of Othello, Othello (speaking in Yiddish-ized English) demands the handkerchief from Desdemona, getting more and more insistent: "Desdemona, da hanchika! Desdemona, da hanchika! Desdemona, da hanchika!" At this point, someone in the audience yells out, "Wipe it on your sleeve and get on with the show!"
February 08, 2007
Grossest post of 2007
Via HotAir, watch this video -- unless you're squeamish, in which case, scroll down. Nothing to see here.
If you're a guy, you'll probably be laughing so hard your boss will ask you what you're doing. HotAir commenters are trying to identify the culprit.
From my own collection: What is it with these political guys?
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