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December 14, 2008

Rod Blagojevich and Rahm Emanuel talk business

"Reputed potty mouth Rep. Rahm Emanuel (D-Ill.) has found redemption. Actually, just vindication. The congressman, who curses about as regularly as a clock ticks, is heralding a study out of London claiming that swearing in the workplace boosts team spirit."

-- Washington Post

"Rahm Emanuel, President-elect Barack Obama's pick to be White House chief of staff, had conversations with Gov. Rod Blagojevich's administration about who would replace Obama in the U.S. Senate, the Tribune has learned."

-- Chicago Tribune

(Rahm Emanuel walks into Governor Blagojevich's office.)

Rod Blagojevich: Hey, Rahm, get the f*** over here right now.

Rahm Emanuel: F***, Rod, I'm moving my a** as fast as I f***ing can.

Rod Blagojevich: S***, Rahm, tell me the f***ing truth here. You talking to the f***ing feds?

Rahm Emanuel: F***, no, Rod.

Rod Blagojevich: You wearing a f***ing wire?

Rahm Emanuel: F***, no, Rod, can we just stop this s***? I'm telling you the God's honest truth here. No s***. I'm bringing a plan straight from the f***ing Messiah himself.

Rod Blagojevich: The Messiah? Your people f***ing killed the Messiah, Rahm.

Rahm Emanuel: Bulls***, you f***ing anti-semite a**hole. Even the f***ing Pope says we didn't.

Rod Blagojevich: Yeah, s***, Rahm, what's the motherf***er's plan?

Secretary (over intercom): Governor, Dan F***ing Rostenkowski on f***ing line 4.

Rod Bagojevich: S***, b****, will you hold the g**d*** calls for me? I'm in a f***ing meeting. (To Emanuel:) The motherf*****'s plan, Rahm?

Rahm Emanuel: We're totally f***ed, Rod. You're so f***ing hot right now, the Messiah can't touch you with a ten f***ing foot pole.

Rod Blagojevich: What a lame motherf***ing a**hole that b****** is, anyway. Well, what the f*** do we do now? That c*** attorney general of mine is trying to get the f***ing state Supreme Court to push me out of f***ing office. Those guys are such pr***s.

Rahm Emanuel: "Pr***s"? S***, Rod, you gotta shut the f*** up, man. Those f***ers are all that stands between you and your f***ing a** in the f***ing slammer.

Rod Blagojevich: If I go to the f***ing slammer, Rahm, I'm taking a bunch of c*********s with me. We got aldermen up to their f***ing ears in horses***. We got union leaders with horses*** coming out their f***ing nostrils. S***, Rahm, you and that motherf***er you call the Messiah are up to your g**d*** armpits in it.

Rahm Emanuel: Bulls***, Rod, we have no f***ing exposure.

Rod Blagojevich: F*** you, Rahm, you're full of s***.

Rahm Emanuel: No, f*** you, a**hole.

Rod Blagojevich: I mean it, Rahm. F*** you!

Rahm Emanuel: No, f*** you, just f*** you, a**hole!

Rod Blagojevich:

Rahm Emanuel: I love you, Rod.

(They hug.)

UPDATE (12/15): Hot Air says, "Obama internal review: There were no inappropriate contacts with Blago." Ace: "Obama claims that his new statement, 'no inappropriate contacts,' is a reaffirmation of his previous statement, 'no contacts.'" Dang, these guys should have asked me for my transcript.