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June 02, 2008

17 reasons for Hillary to stay in the race

So Hillary seems to be saying she's going to stay in the race (HotAir video) until the convention. Here are 17 things that could happen that support her decision to stay:

1. Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June, so who knows?

2. A tape is discovered in which Louis Farrakhan scolds Michelle Obama for being too consumed with hatred.

3. Jeremiah Wright announces he's converting to Judaism.

4. It is revealed that Obama is not actually the Messiah, although he did once find a slice of toast with the image of Jesus on it.

5. The superdelegates are indicted for betting on the primaries.

6. Obama accepts Geraldine Ferraro's challenge to arm wrestle and loses to her.

7. Bill Ayers explodes.

8. disowns Obama after he meets with Joe Lieberman about the vice presidency.

9. Six Mexicans are found in chains in a dungeon in the Obamas' basement, and Obama rushes to the microphones to say that this should not be imputed to him.

10. The Denver Police announce "shoot to kill" orders for protesters at the convention.

11. To further affirmative action, the DNC approves the addition of 250 new 65-year-old lesbian delegates, who promptly announce their support for Hillary.

12. Democrats strip Obama of delegates in 7 of our 57 states.

13. Obama accepts Ralph Nader's invitation to run as Nader's VP.

14. Obama reveals on national TV that he's had a 10-year infatuation with Tinky Winky.

15. Fr. Michael Pfleger denies that he is not gay.

16. Obama confesses that he's never really understood legal citation form.

17. Obama accidentally gives Howard Dean's YEARGGGHHH! speech.