Maryland Blogger Alliance

Alliance FAQs

Latest MBA Posts

August 06, 2007

Naked before God (and naked without Him)

Why is this called "Cover Story," anyway, is what I want to know? The Christian Nudist Convocation: Naked before God.

He has joined more than 20 others for the Christian Nudist Convocation, a semi-annual gathering of salt-of-the-earth folks whose dedication to being nude whenever possible is rivaled only by their love for Christ. “May the Lord protect our nudity from the sight of those who will not benefit, and may He allow us to be seen by those who will.... Amen,” goes the prayer from one of the nudist’s websites.
If that's your taste in religion and clothing, I guess.

Then, of course, there's Naked without God, which is perhaps more common, at least in Massachusetts:
"Your underwear are probably soaking wet," said Hall, 61, to a visitor.

Wet underwear is just one of many reasons why Hall prefers the nudist lifestyle of Sandy Terraces, the Marstons Mills campground where skin is in.
On the other hand, as far as I know, having done no research, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court has not yet ruled that a woman has an equal-protection right to go topless in Boston, as the New York Court of Appeals has ruled with respect to New York.

Bonus: My wife occasionally clips advice columns to discuss with her Russian students, and she'd left this on the table. She was interested in the first letter, but I was more curious about the third one:
Dear Amy:

You answered a letter from a "naturist" in your column and made some disparaging comments about gardening in the buff.

Actually, Amy, nude gardening is an extremely enjoyable exercise, something my wife and I have been doing for more than 50 years.

There is a formal "World Naked Gardening Day" each year in the first part of May.

Our garden is beautiful.

A Happy Gardener, Richmond, Calif.

Responding to this letter, I made a comment about nude gardening and hedge trimmers. Based on the responses to this letter, however, many people enjoy nude gardening, despite what I perceive as its obvious risks.
Not to mention the risks that your neighbors have to face -- of being mooned without their consent.

(first item via Drudge, second via BOTWT)

UPDATE: And more "Dear Amy" via Fark:
Dear Amy: I am a 40-year-old divorced father of 14-year-old twin sons.

Recently, a new neighbor moved in next door. She is a very nice, charming and easy to get along with 30-year-old single woman whom I'll call "Martha." A problem has arisen, and I need some advice. On weekend afternoons when my sons play baseball in our back yard, Martha sunbathes topless in her back yard (always while lying on her stomach, as far as I know).

The tall wooden fence between our yards provides her some privacy. However, when the boys hit a foul ball into her yard, she allows one of them to come over to retrieve it.

Even though the fence is tall enough to prevent the boys from peering in at her, and even though she stays lying on her stomach whenever she is topless, the boys seem to hit more than their fair share of foul balls over the fence. This past weekend while they were retrieving a ball from her yard, Martha allowed one of the boys to apply sunscreen lotion on her back.

I found her behavior inappropriate, because my boys are at the age when they notice girls, and because she doesn't always keep her arms tightly at her side when sunbathing.

When I spoke to her about this, Martha said that it isn't a big deal and that the boys are perfect gentlemen.

Now what do I do? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Should I prohibit my sons from backyard baseball and make them go to the playground field a few blocks away?

- Concerned Dad in Pa.

Dear Concerned: The lotion spreading is not good at all.

If your sons were daughters, and if your neighbor was a 30-year-old man, you would see this behavior as worse than inappropriate. You might see it as predatory. Of course "Martha" doesn't think this is a big deal. But she is in no position to judge.

Your sons should not have any physical contact with your neighbor.

As their dad, you should make this extremely clear to all parties, and then you should be vigilant to make sure that their contact remains nothing more than a neighborly "howdy" over the back fence.
Really. If you have to ask....