No, I don't read Esquire, but there was a link to an article there called "The New Laws of Fashion." And that's fashion for men, obviously.
Me, I try not to look awful. That's my strategy in a nutshell. And when I wear a suit, I want it to fit well, but that's about it. No metrosexual, I.
But I did read this article through to the end, just wondering where I was going wrong. And then I found it here:
45. NOTHING SAYS "JACKASS" QUITE AS WELL AS A CELL PHONE ON A BELT CLIP. You know who you are.Well, excuuuuuuuse me! I have a cell phone for the rare calls I need to make, and there's no better place for a man to put a phone than on his belt. It's easy to get at it when you need it. Pockets don't work for me; there's enough stuff there already.
When I was in sixth grade, a friend used this line when another kid told him how much better he was at everything than my friend: "But can you beat me?" Which I always found amusing.
And that's what I have to say to the fops at Esquire.
UPDATE: I should have clarified two things about my phone: 1. It's humorously out of date, vintage 2002. 2. I've turned off the ringer and set it to vibrate only. And if I'm still a jackass, the fops at Esquire and I will have to take this outside.