Meat market

Not News: New York Times sends its food critic to review a steak restaurant.

News: The reviewer is rapturous, citing "char, richness, depth and a more pronounced degree of aging, an unmistakable tanginess that accentuated and stretched out the beef’s flavor."

Pillage Idiot: The restaurant is located at the Penthouse Executive Club, where the reviewer's party is attended to by strippers. For dessert: "It’s called a buttery nipple, and it involves one of the women straddling your lap, tilting your head back, pouring a combination of Baileys Irish Cream and butterscotch schnapps down your throat, and squirting Reddi-wip into your mouth. It costs $20 in cash. Note to the newspaper’s expense auditors: I don’t have a receipt."

Female Times staff lodge their complaints in 5..4..3..2..

(with apologies to Fark, from which I did not get this item)