Naked news considers marriage

"Naked News," as regular readers know, is an occasional feature of Pillage Idiot and is my cheap attempt at increasing site traffic, even though these visitors almost never return. I've been debating with myself recently whether this cheap trick is worth the candle, but I couldn't resist this one story, for which I'm indebted to Ace.

Dateline: Ann Arbor, Michigan, home of the University of Michigan and about 100,000 other crunchy leftists.

You have to love a story that starts like this:

A marriage-minded man ran naked through his neighborhood, trying to show his hesitant girlfriend that taking risks is important. He got more than he bargained for when he ended up being chased and shot at.

"Wait," you're thinking. "If I wanted to persuade my girlfriend to marry me, that's exactly what I'd do!" Right? Not me. I waited until after we were married to try that.

But if you can't wait, you can't wait. Here's how the story unfolds:

The couple were discussing marriage early Wednesday when the woman said she wasn't sure if she was ready, according to Ann Arbor police reports. The man responded that taking risks is an important part of life and, to prove his point, jumped out of a first-floor window and ran naked across the street.

Before he could return, he spotted a couple walking and hid in some bushes to avoid them. A 28-year-old man noticed the bushes rustling and bare feet underneath, then drew a .40-caliber handgun and ordered the naked man out, police said.

The naked suitor ran away, but the armed man gave chase and threatened to shoot, police said. The gunman fired a shot and the naked man fell to the ground, suffering minor injuries.

A resident called police, who arrested the gunman on charges of aggravated assault and carrying a concealed weapon. He was taken to the Washtenaw County jail but released following further investigation, police Sgt. Patrick Hughes told The Associated Press.

The naked man was not arrested and didn't want to pursue charges, Hughes said.

We can all smile at this man's difficulties, but if you were the girlfriend, wouldn't you leap at the chance to marry this man? Hmmm. Maybe you would leap out the window first, preferably with your clothes on.