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June 05, 2006

It's a zoo out there

Is there something in the drinking water? Or is it just that if you drink while on all fours, you may have some issues?

Exhibit A: A depressed South Korean man goes to the zoo and climbs into the pen of rhinos "known for having a mean streak." He was so upset at not being able to find a job that he failed to look for more docile rhinos. Because, as we all know, rhinos are a particularly docile animal. (Not.)

Exhibit B: A man at a Kiev zoo, apparently seeking to re-enact the biblical story of Daniel, climbs down a rope into the lions' enclosure, shouting that "God will save me, if he exists." God says, "I knew Daniel. Daniel was a friend of mine. And, son, you're no Daniel." The article reports: "A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery."

Here's a tip to future Daniels: Don't expect divine salvation by trumpeting your agnosticism. It usually works better with deep faith in God. Not that I'm recommending that test, either.

Interestingly enough, the Russian version of the story leaves out the part about God. On the other hand, the Washington Post's AP story does mention God, but it implies that the man was poor, undereducated, and easily led.

Next up, The Nation magazine examines why the lions hate us.

UPDATE: It goes without saying that you can get cuddly with wild animals outside the zoo, as well, as Instapundit points out. (hat tip: Soccer Dad)