Between a rock and a hard phallus

Perhaps the world's oldest sex toy has been discovered. The BBC, in an article entitled "Ancient phallus unearthed in cave," reports:

A sculpted and polished phallus found in a German cave is among the earliest representations of male sexuality ever uncovered, researchers say.

The 20cm-long, 3cm-wide stone object, which is dated to be about 28,000 years old, was buried in the famous Hohle Fels Cave near Ulm in the Swabian Jura.

The prehistoric "tool" was reassembled from 14 fragments of siltstone.

Its life size suggests it may well have been used as a sex aid by its Ice Age makers, scientists report.

For those who are curious about "life size," 20 cm converts to just under 8 inches. Considering that the average height of humans has been growing, we can assume that the people who used this object were relatively small in stature. In height, I mean.

The phallus was apparently in the possession of an ancient Lorena Bobbitt:

The Tübingen team working Hohle Fels already had 13 fractured parts of the phallus in storage, but it was only with the discovery of a 14th fragment last year that the team was able finally to put the "jigsaw" together.

Researchers think it was used to split flints. (Isn't that what every guy does?)

Now, what would you do if you found a 28,000-year-old stone phallus? Why, you'd take it on tour, naturally: "The Hohle Fels phallus will go on show at Blaubeuren prehistoric museum in an exhibition called Ice Art - Clearly Male."