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July 07, 2005

Best Name Award

Today's Best Name Award goes to a guy who petitioned for a writ of habeas corpus and lost.

The opinion of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Eighth Circuit in Lenford Never Misses A Shot v. United States of America can be read here. This is how it begins:

Lenford Never Misses A Shot appeals the district court’s judgment denying his initial motion pursuant to 28 U.S.C. § 2255 to set aside his sentence. Never Misses A Shot argues that his 220-month sentence for sexual abuse and escape convictions was imposed in violation of United States v. Booker, 125 S. Ct. 738 (2005). Because we conclude that Never Misses A Shot may not collaterally attack his sentence based on Booker, we affirm.
All I can say is that if Mr. Never Misses A Shot isn't pretty damn good on the prison basketball court, he's gonna get the stuffing kicked out of him real fast.