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August 07, 2008

When "bullet-resistant" bras are not enough

The Germans think they can protect their female law enforcement officers by buying "bullet-resistant bras," but we know better. (via HotAir) When you buy a watch that says it's "water-resistant," you don't wear it in the water. All that means is that if it gets rained on, you're OK. So even if your bra is "bullet-resistant," it's not "bullet-proof," and I wouldn't advise you to get shot in the chestal area. You'd better still carry that Bible in your pocket.

That being said, we do have anecdotal evidence that some bras can protect you from a bullet. And even if they're not bullet-proof, the bullet-resistant bras do look pretty cool, what with the word "Polizei" written on the underband. I'd definitely like to have that written on my own underwear.

Now, right about now, you're probably wondering whether the police chicks could pack some heat in those bras. I'm glad you asked. Here's an article from the BBC from 2001 that says:

An American inventor has designed the world's first - and so far only - combined brassiere and gun holster.

The underwear is designed to hold a .38 calibre snub-nose revolver, and also has room for a pepper spray.
If that's correct, it's hard to believe the bra has room for the woman herself. So call me a skeptic. But I'm willing to venture a guess what the Germans would call this device:

ein Pfefferspritzpistolentascheb├╝stenhalter

It's almost enough to make me want to invest.