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August 11, 2008

Al Qaeda imitates Woody Allen's "Bananas"

Remember the scene in Bananas where the successful guerrilla leader addresses the people and announces his new edicts?

From this day on, the official language of San Marcos will be Swedish. Silence! In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check. Furthermore, all children under 16 years old are now 16 years old.
According to this article, Al Qaeda really ticked off the Iraqis by imposing similar edicts.
Besides the terrible killings inflicted by the fanatics on those who refuse to pledge allegiance to them, Al-Qa'eda has lost credibility for enforcing a series of rules imposing their way of thought on the most mundane aspects of everyday life.

They include a ban on women buying suggestively-shaped vegetables, according to one tribal leader in the western province of Anbar.

Sheikh Hameed al-Hayyes, a Sunni elder, told Reuters: "They even killed female goats because their private parts were not covered and their tails were pointed upward, which they said was haram.

"They regarded the cucumber as male and tomato as female. Women were not allowed to buy cucumbers, only men."
Well, I guess if you had to choose the quintessential male and female vegetable, they chose the right ones. Cucumbers are obviously male; tomatoes are obviously female.

In fact, to quote Woody Allen again, the queen in a sketch in Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex * But Were Afraid To Ask is shocked when the Woody Allen jester character touches her on the breasts. Woody Allen denies it, saying he would never lay his hands on "the royal tomatoes."

(hat tip: Soccer Dad, who writes, "Who knew that Al Qaeda operated in Montgomery County?")