Is that a paintbrush in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

The jokes write themselves.

That is, if you happen to be a guy whose shtick is painting with your male member.

SYDNEY (Reuters) - A cheeky artist who uses his penis as a brush has entered a racy self-portrait for Australia's top art prize.

Australian Tim Patch, who calls himself Pricasso, usually exposes his talents at sex product fairs around the world, but has decided to go upmarket by entering a painting for Australia's Archibald Prize -- the nation's top award for portraiture.

In a unique painting style, Patch does not use paint brushes, but his penis to apply paint to the canvas.

I thought I'd heard it all when I learned about a guy who painted with his butt. But that's old hat; as Mr. Patch explains, "'I had to use my bum to paint in the background, because you have to have the occasional break,' Patch told the Sydney Morning Herald newspaper on Wednesday."

Because, in answer to the question you've got all bottled up inside, it's not the most pleasant sensation in the world:

"Painting on canvas for hours on end is not very kind to your skin. It's pretty tiring and it gets really sore."

So, what does his oeuvre look like? Well, you may recognize this guy:



Exit question: What does this artiste think of the new enhanced-privacy urinals? (via Toner Mishap)

Personally, I find it a little creepy, sort of on the level of a photo of the President painted with some dude's hingie-dingie.