I barely have time to yawn these days, but I didn't want a few classic stories to go by unnoticed. So you'll excuse me if I put them in a linkfest.
1. You know how little kids have potty mouths these days? Well, check out the newest fad: potty heads.
LONDON (Reuters) - Firefighters said on Wednesday they had come to a [2-1/2 year old] boy's rescue after he got a toilet seat stuck on his head which he couldn't get off.That must have been some party!
2. Florida: A state senator who was "convicted of grand theft for paying his office staff with state money while he worked on his re-election campaign" but is still in office has introduced a bill that would allow schools to suspend students for up to 10 days for showing their underwear. The bill is called "Pull Up Your Britches." The link contains video.
3. A British documentary on the "telly," called "Human Footprint," makes a remarkable claim: "The average person will eat over 10,000 bars of chocolate, shed 121 pints of tears and have sex more than 4,200 times" over a lifetime. The article at the link is accompanied by a chart stating how much or how many in a lifetime for a whole variety of things.
Particularly relevant to Pillage Idiot is this: "35,815 litres of wind passed." This figure might make sense to me if I knew how many inches there are in a litre.
And if you believe all of these figures, that means you had better get going if you want to have sex 4,239 times in your lifetime, which coincidentally is the exactly the same number of rolls of toilet paper you'll use. Unless, of course, you're Sheryl Crow.
4. Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi speak to the press, and Harry puts his hand on Nancy's shoulder. Nancy pretends she doesn't mind. But she's faking it.
(1-3 via Fark, 4 via Hot Air)
UPDATE: 5. Ace updates a post from HuffPo about how to tell if your husband is gay. My answer: "Are you a man? If so, your husband is gay. So are you."