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May 03, 2005

How to get your mother to despise you

Today's tip: How to get your mother to despise you.

You're a 30-something or 40-something. You're married, have kids, call your mother once in a while (not too infrequently). Generally, you have a good relationship with her. But you're at a loss to figure out what to do for Mothers' Day.

So you send her this e-card, courtesy of the Federal Trade Commission. And now she's not taking your calls. She's writing you out of her will. And, if she's Jewish, she's sitting in the dark (alone).

The FTC doesn't put a warning to consumers at its web site, but Lesley Fair, an FTC attorney, has provided one to a reporter for the Washington Post:

Fair cautions that the card alone may not suffice this Mother's Day. She has already sent it to her mom, Alys Fair, who promptly replied in an e-mail, "Don't think this means I don't expect flowers and candy, too."
And one other thing: Don't even joke about this with your wife.