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July 02, 2007

No children admitted

After Ace mentioned the site, I went off to get my blog rated as if it were a movie. Yeah, I knew it was just some shtick, but I figured I'd give it a try.

Here's what it came up with:

Online Dating

The reason, according to the site, was this:
This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words: * sex (12x) * gay (5x) * gays (3x) * death (2x) * poop (1x)
This listing of bad words fell way short. I knew, for example, there were verbal "penises" in plain sight, but they didn't show up in the word count. So I did my own word count on Friday, and I came up with these bad words, which the site didn't even catch:

nude (1x), sperm (1x), suckling (1x), Hillary (2x), bare (1x), breast/breasts (6x), chest (1x), blood (1x), penis/penises (4x), orifice (1x), penetrating (1x), naked (1x), racism/race (5x), pornophilia (1x) bawdy (1x), topless (4x), bust (1x), bra (1x), orgasm (1x), homosexuality (1x), areola (1x), genitalia (1x), explode (1x), sex (5x), gay/gays (4x), condom (3x), phallus (1x)

Of course, all of this misses the point. If you've read Pillage Idiot before, you'll know it's utter nonsense to rate it NC-17. This blog is more like PG-13, for high levels of immaturity, a little like an Adam Sandler flick, only less offensive. There's certainly nothing graphic here, unless you count a photo of a seal oosik. Let me point out that I didn't even show the photoshopped cover of Angela Merkel suckling two Polish politicians. I linked to it instead.

Here's part of the MPAA's definition of PG-13:
A PG-13 film is one which, in the view of the Rating Board, leaps beyond the boundaries of the PG rating in theme, violence, nudity, sensuality, language, or other contents, but does not quite fit within the restricted R category. Any drug use content will initially require at least a PG-13 rating. In effect, the PG-13 cautions parents with more stringency than usual to give special attention to this film before they allow their 12-year-olds and younger to attend. If nudity is sexually oriented, the film will generally not be found in the PG-13 category. If violence is too rough or persistent, the film goes into the R (restricted) rating.
But all the talk about movie ratings misses the point here. As I noted, it's immaturity that's the issue. So take the Pillage Idiot Advisory System shown below.

Most of what I write goes no higher than Orange (Puerile), and I warn you when it gets to Red (Infantile).

I guess it doesn't make a difference what some online dating site's algorithm says about Pillage Idiot, but it does make you wonder how real NC-17 sites would be rated.