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January 11, 2006

The REAL naked news

When I wrote about naked news, I was informing you about news stories in which the subject of the story was naked. Obviously, I'm behind the times. Turns out that a real naked news show is headed for Japan.

TOKYO (Hollywood Reporter) - Naked News, which features anchors and reporters who disrobe during newscasts, launched its risque take on current affairs in Japan Tuesday.

Beneath a banner proclaiming Naked News as "The program with nothing to hide," Sunrise Corp. CEO Takuya Uchikawa described the service as "a unique concept for the Japanese market."
How unique is this concept? When you consider that no one is going to listen to the news when the newscaster is doing something rather distracting, you won't have much of a news show. You will have a show on which people disrobe. Big freakin' deal.

The PR people are completely full of crap. Listen to this:
We believe there is a huge untapped market for the right kind of information if it was properly packaged," Warga said. "So we created a news-entertainment program in which women, and later men, informed while removing their clothing."
Packaging the news with no packaging on the newscasters. Brilliant idea.

Along these same lines, I'm going to propose a really new concept: Naked appellate litigation. Lawyers will appear in court and, as they're presenting their oral argument to the judges, will disrobe. Considering how old some of the judges are, this will cause enough heart attacks to open numerous vacancies on the bench. But one thing I can guarantee: No one will be paying a lick of attention to the lawyers' arguments. Which is probably a good thing.