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June 12, 2007

Happy Fathers' Day

I can't possibly do justice to this idiotically cute article in the Science section of the New York Times about sperm. Yes, sperm: "Sleek, Fast and Focused: The Cells That Make Dad Dad."

I don't even want to try.

Certainly not with an article that starts this way:

We are fast approaching Father’s Day, the festive occasion on which we plague Dad with yet another necktie or collect phone call and just generally strive to remind the big guy of the central verity of paternity — that it’s a lot more fun to become a father than to be one.
And ends this way, after discussing the mechanics of fertilization:
The wheels are in motion. How do you like your new tie?
It's not even worth doing the Beavis and Butthead review of the article. ("Heh, heh, heh, she said 'strokes.'") Finally, it's not worth groaning over lines like these: "Sperm do not really hit their stride until they are deposited in the female reproductive tract * * *." "The ovum eggs them on * * *."

And there's not even a single mention of the female orgasm. What a total waste of ink!