Pillage Idiot Passover Diet

Sure, Passover's over. For this year. But let's face it, we've been celebrating the holiday for about 3,300 years -- at least, after eight days it seems as if we have -- and it's pretty likely to come again next year at about the same time.

So let me give you my tried and true Pillage Idiot Passover Diet^TM, under which I actually lost weight this year:

Matzah -- k'zayit; zeitim -- k'matzah.

That's it.

Let me explain. You eat absolutely as little matzah as you are required to eat (the size of an olive) and you eat as much olive (by which I mean fresh fruits and vegetables, and, of course, dried fruits) as you used to eat matzah. Fruits and vegetables = good. Matzah = bad. You can also eat a reasonable amount of meat and fish, but don't abuse the privilege.

If you eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, and especially dried fruits, you won't be hungry. Trust me.