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June 24, 2007

The Inquiring Photographer: Where will you invade?

The Inquiring Photographer asks:

If you're elected president in 2008, where's the first place you'll invade?

"Iran. (Pssst, guys . . . Iran, right?) Yeah, Iran."

Mitt Romney, R-Massachusetts

"I figure President Bush will invade Iran before he leaves office, so what does that leave me with? Syria? Fuggedaboudit. I'll go for Saudi Arabia. That'll teach that Prince Alwaleed bin Talal guy a thing or two."

Rudy Giuliani, R-New York

"Iraq, and I'm going to do it right this time. And then, I'll invade the EIB Building in midtown Manhattan. Frickin' Republican noise machine."

John McCain, R-Arizona

"Papa always said you don't let a guy know you're gonna hit 'im before they're moppin' up his blood from the floor with what's lefta his shirt."

Fred Thompson, R-Tennessee

"California. There aren't any Mexicans left in Mexico any more. You know that, right? They're all in California."

Tom Tancredo, R-Colorado

"Not many people realize it, but the Air Force is unconstitutional. The Constitution gives Congress the power to raise and support an Army and to provide and maintain a Navy, but it says nothing about an Air Force. But we've gotten ourselves into a situation in Washington, in which [18-1/2 minute gap] and also the Federal Reserve."

Ron Paul, R-"CTA 102"

"I'd start with some of those smaller red states, but I eventually intend to retake Texas."

Hillary Clinton, D-New York

"It's nice of you to think I'm running for president. Since I'm only going to end up as Hillary's running mate, maybe you should ask her."

Barack Obama, D-Illinois

"I guess I'd probably invade that rabid Republican gun-toting white trash who lives near my estate. Elizabeth is terrified of him."

John Edwards, D-North Carolina

"Do you understand the symbolism?"

Mike Gravel, D-Alaska

"You tawkin' 'a me? Huh? Well, $*(&$& off and mind your own business. I told you I'm not running for president, but you don't listen to me. But listen to this, we invaded Burger King and McDonald's last week. Next week, it's Le Bernadin. By January 2009, we're gonna be way across the Mississippi already."

Mike Bloomberg, D R I-New York