Elections ev'ly night

If you've ever thought about getting a penile implant in Turkey, you might want to check your neighbor's garage door opener first.

In an article in the Register with the juvenile sub-head "Hard luck for implant chap," we are told that a "chap" has complained that he has an erection whenever his neighbor uses the garage door remote. This is an alleged transcript of an alleged phone call to a radio show. File it under "probably bogus but nevertheless strangely amusing."

CALLER: I had a problem with impotence and I had an operation in Turkey and got an implant which would help.
HOST: I know the sort of thing.
CALLER: But what is happening now is every time my neighbour comes back in their 4 x 4, I get an erection.
HOST: Good Lord.
CALLER: This is embarrassing. It's a big problem.
HOST: Have you been to see your doctor about it?
CALLER: The problem is I had this done in Turkey, using equipment that is not known in this country. I don't like it because every time his car pulls in I can't leave the house.
HOST: (Laughing) I'm afraid that it sounds funny as well. I know it's not funny for you.
CALLER: It's not funny for me, Roger, when I can't leave the house because I'm walking around with a big erection.
HOST: You're going to have to go and see a doctor.

(via Fark) What I'd like to know is whether you can replicate this with different radio frequencies -- say, the frequencies used by your TV remote, your I-Pod remote, or for that matter, the remote for your Sleep Number^TM bed. Because, well, you know, it would be so, uh, empowering for the woman in your life if she could call upon you by pressing the button on a remote.

Plus a certain notorious judge might not have been in so much trouble if he had used a remote control device.

On a more serious note, I've been listening to the CD version of Michael Wex's book Born to Kvetch, an amusing socio-religio-linguistic (that's my invention) look at the Yiddish language. When discussing Yiddish terminology for the male member (the obvious ones being schmuck and putz), Wex notes an interesting additional term -- choyl ha-moyed. This is a yiddishized version of the Hebrew term for the days in the middle of the eight-day festivals of Passover and Sukkot on which work is not prohibited. Wex says that the term comes from a Slavic word that sounds like it -- I didn't catch the exact word (remember I'm listening, not reading) -- that means, roughly, "exposed testicles." He adds that the term fit nicely in Yiddish because of a play on words. Regel not only refers to one of the three pilgrimage festivals (Passover, Shavuot, and Sukkot) but also means leg. So choyl ha-moyed means the days between a regel (festival day on which work is prohibited) and a regel but also means what's between a regel (leg) and a regel (leg).

[Note (7/20): Minor edits in final paragraph.]